In a shocking twist that surprises absolutely no one who’s been awake for the last year, the same administration that promised to “streamline government” has now successfully streamlined people right into floodwaters. That’s right: the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE)—Trump’s golden retriever of a bureaucracy—slashed funding to NOAA and the National Weather Service (NWS), and wouldn’t you know it, dozens of Texans are now dead after catastrophic floods that experts say were… wait for it… predictable.
But hey, at least the budget spreadsheet looks skinny, right?
First: DOGE Took a Buzzsaw to Science
Earlier this year, DOGE proudly axed:
- 1,300 NOAA staff positions (about 10% of the workforce)
- 600 NWS jobs, including 30 forecast offices left without a lead meteorologist
- Entire divisions responsible for regional radar analysis, flood prediction models, and even weather balloon launches (because who needs atmosphere data when you’ve got vibes?)
Apparently, DOGE decided that meteorologists were just “liberal sky whisperers” and replaced most storm modeling systems with Elon’s polling function on X.
Then the Storm Hit
In early July, Central Texas was drenched with a surprise 10–20 inches of rain, resulting in catastrophic flash floods that killed at least 52 people, including campers at Camp Mystic. Emergency alerts were issued only hours before water swept across towns, washing out roads and collapsing infrastructure that had been labeled “not flood-prone” by—get this—the now-underfunded National Weather Service.
Kerr County officials say the forecast showed 3 to 8 inches of rain. What they got was a bathtub full of climate karma, and the public got… silence. Unless you count thoughts and prayers from officials who cut the forecast staff in the first place.
Why Was the Forecast So Wrong?
Because the warning systems were understaffed. The satellites were outdated. The radar analysts? Gone. The databases tracking flood history and modeling saturation levels? Shut down.
Even Grok, Elon’s overconfident AI sidekick, admitted the DOGE cuts reduced NOAA funding by 30% and staffing by 17%. So even the algorithm knows who’s to blame.
This wasn’t a forecasting error. It was a forecasting hollowing—a slow bureaucratic purge sold as efficiency but delivered as tragedy.
But It Gets Worse
The same cuts that paralyzed flood response also:
- Suspended hurricane preparedness databases
- Paused climate and oceanic monitoring systems
- Gutted the National Integrated Drought Information System (because who needs to know when food crops are dying?)
So while Americans try to decode weather using decade-old apps and grandma’s knees, the federal government is running the National Weather Service out of a garage with a dial-up modem and an expired barometer.
The GOP’s Efficiency: Cheaper Forecasts, Pricier Funerals
Let’s be clear: DOGE wasn’t about saving money. It was about cutting visible services while continuing to fund tax cuts, military parades, and private jet subsidies for CEOs who think rain is a hoax invented by Greta Thunberg.
When a government decides to prioritize “optics” over infrastructure, people drown. Literally. Texas didn’t just get hit by rain—it got hit by intentional under-preparedness.
Final Forecast
Expect more storms, fewer warnings, and continued government officials insisting it’s someone else’s fault. The real tragedy isn’t just the loss of life—it’s how preventable this all was.
Turns out, “shrinking government” only sounds good until the floodwaters rise. And when they do, you might want to look up—if only to see whether anyone bothered to keep the radar on.
Welcome to the new America: where the weather app is glitchy, the satellites are silent, and the government is too efficient to care.