
The 2 a.m. Truth Social Serenade
On August 27, 2025, Donald Trump—our forever midnight bard—logged onto Truth Social at the ungodly hour of 2 a.m. to fight the real battle of our times: Seth Meyers’ job security. Forget Ukraine, forget inflation, forget that the Colorado River is turning into a trickle—the real crisis is NBC extending “Late Night with Seth Meyers” through 2028.
Never mind that NBC renewed the contract back in May 2024. Never mind that Meyers, despite operating in the 12:30 a.m. comedy hinterlands, has a loyal audience of irony-drunk millennials and insomniac boomers. Trump saw whispers of “contract extension” online, declared it a “sick rumor,” and launched into a scorched-earth soliloquy, calling Meyers “talentless, unintelligent, and childish.”
The man who once pitched disinfectant as a wellness shot has now set himself up as the arbiter of comedy quality.
Comedy as the Last Free Press
This isn’t just Trump’s personal vendetta—it’s part of his long-running feud with late-night TV. Remember Colbert? Gone. (Trump cheered that cancellation harder than he did Barron’s high school graduation.) Fallon, once a golf buddy, got demoted to “That Low Energy Hairdo Guy.” Kimmel, branded “unfunny loser.”
Now Meyers. And why? Because these men did the one thing truly unforgivable in Trump’s world: they mocked him with jokes that stuck. You can survive tariffs, coups, and impeachments. But you cannot, under any circumstances, survive being called a “poor man’s Alec Baldwin.”
Trump, The Accidental Comedy Critic
There’s something surreal about Trump positioning himself as a late-night gatekeeper. Imagine:
- Rotten Tomatoes, but instead of critics you get Truth Social rants in all caps.
- Instead of “Certified Fresh,” you get “WITCH HUNT, TERRIBLE RATINGS, SAD!”
- Every review ends with “Many people are saying…”
This is a man who once sued Bill Maher for comparing him to an orangutan. His comedic palate begins and ends with Don Rickles on VHS. And yet here he is, 2 a.m., in a Florida bathrobe, thumbs raging against Seth Meyers’ monologue jokes about infrastructure week.
The NBC Conspiracy That Isn’t
Trump’s argument hinges on NBC as the enemy of the people, pushing “Fake News” via… comedy? According to Trump logic:
- Seth Meyers tells a joke about Trump.
- NBC airs it.
- Ergo, NBC is basically the CIA running psychological warfare against MAGA patriots.
It’s the same energy as yelling at The Onion for biased journalism. Or accusing Saturday Night Live of election interference (oh wait, he did that too).
The Ghost of Colbert Past
The Colbert cancellation looms large here. Trump celebrated it like a championship win, forgetting that networks don’t cancel shows because he hates them—they cancel shows because streaming gutted ad revenue. But in Trumpworld, Colbert’s demise was divine retribution, proof that God Himself binge-watches Fox Nation.
So when NBC quietly renewed Meyers last year, Trump didn’t notice. Or maybe he forgot. Memory is hard when your brain is powered by Diet Coke and grievance. But when he did notice? Oh, baby. To the phone he went, rage-typing like a teen who just discovered their ex got engaged.
NBC vs. CBS: The New Axis of Evil
Trump’s rant didn’t just target Meyers. He lumped NBC and CBS together as networks “pushing Fake News through comedy.” Which is hilarious, because the actual fake news networks are still the ones running segments on how vaccines turn frogs into Marxists.
It’s projection 101: accuse your enemies of the thing you’re doing. Trump spent years treating the presidency like a reality show, complete with cliffhangers and catchphrases. But when comedians treat politics like a joke? Suddenly that’s the downfall of civilization.
What’s Really Keeping Him Up at Night
Here’s the real tell: Trump doesn’t care about Seth Meyers. He cares about losing control of the narrative. Comedy, historically, outlives propaganda. The jokes become the memory. Nixon will forever be “Tricky Dick.” George W. Bush will forever be the guy who couldn’t pronounce “nuclear.” And Trump? He will forever be the orange guy whose hands are “very small.”
He knows it. That’s why he lashes out. Because when history is written in punchlines, Seth Meyers is holding the pen, and Trump is just the punchline.
The Bee’s-Eye View
Hovering above Mar-a-Lago at 2:15 a.m., our cartoon bee clutches a glowing phone screen. Trump’s thumbs are a blur. The bee sighs: “Imagine losing sleep over Seth Meyers.” Then buzzes off to watch old Conan clips, because some of us know how to enjoy comedy without declaring it treason.
Closing Sting: The Joke’s on Him
Trump wants us to believe NBC’s contract decisions are an assault on America itself. But let’s be honest: nobody outside Twitter cares about Seth Meyers’ renewal except the man ranting at 2 a.m. in all caps.
Late-night TV is a relic, fading like Blockbuster and landlines. But Trump’s obsession? That’s eternal. He’ll still be posting angry reviews of “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” from his nursing home in 2045.
And here’s the kicker: Seth Meyers doesn’t even have to reply. He just has to read Trump’s rant out loud on air. Because in the end, Trump wrote his own monologue. The jokes write themselves.