Well, it’s official: 2025 has politely asked 2020 to hold its drink and then shoved it down a flight of metaphorical stairs. We’re barely halfway through the year, and already the timeline reads like a rejected Black Mirror writer’s fever dream. From AI scandals to legislative cosplay, here’s your semi-comprehensive list of the ten most delightfully unhinged, globally embarrassing, and “wait, that actually happened?” moments of the year so far.
Grab your seatbelt. And maybe a helmet.
1. The AI Pope Endorsement That Wasn’t
In March, a widely circulated AI-generated image showed Pope Francis fist-bumping Elon Musk while wearing a Supreme hoodie. The Vatican issued a formal statement clarifying that “His Holiness does not endorse cryptocurrency… or tech bros.” Meanwhile, Elon responded with “LMAO” and a Dogecoin meme.
The lesson? If your religious leader starts looking too hypebeast, check the pixels.
2. Congress Accidentally Bans Tuesdays
In a late-night legislative frenzy to streamline federal scheduling, lawmakers passed a bill so poorly written it technically nullified Tuesdays on the federal calendar. For three weeks, government employees debated whether they were legally allowed to show up to work.
Spoiler: most chose not to.
Productivity, shockingly, improved.
3. Florida Declares “Emotional Support Iguanas” Tax-Deductible
In a bold move that surprised even lizard owners, Florida lawmakers passed a bill making exotic emotional support animals eligible for tax write-offs. By April, therapy emus, boa constrictors, and one deeply traumatized alpaca had flooded Miami courthouses.
PETA was unavailable for comment, presumably due to internal conflict.
4. Taylor Swift Officially Declared a Weather System
After selling out 48 stadiums in 22 countries, the National Weather Service issued a tongue-in-cheek advisory declaring “Taylor Swift’s global impact now qualifies as a Category 5 cultural storm.” Meteorologists are still unsure how to track a downpour of friendship bracelets.
Merch is, of course, not included in FEMA coverage.
5. Texas Redistricts a Parking Lot Into Its Own Voting District
To gain an edge in local elections, Texas officials quietly designated a Buc-ee’s parking lot outside Waco as its own congressional district. It now has one representative, two hot dog stands, and more influence than Vermont.
The congressman elected to represent it is currently under investigation for campaign bribery via brisket samples.
6. AI Deepfakes Accidentally Cause War (Then Apologize in iambic pentameter)
An AI-generated video showing the Canadian Prime Minister declaring war on Belgium (don’t ask) went viral before being debunked. The AI responsible was immediately reprimanded, retrained in ethics, and now writes Shakespearean sonnets as penance.
Belgium remains “mildly offended.”
7. A U.S. Senator “Finds Himself Spiritually” in a Burning Man Porta-Potty
Senator Clay Beckford (R-Somewhere) vanished for three weeks in June, later resurfacing with tribal beads, a bongo drum, and a viral TED Talk titled “The Power of Scent: Navigating Inner Peace in the Dark.”
His approval rating briefly skyrocketed, then plummeted after voters watched the footage.
8. Meta’s New Product is Just… Paper?
In an effort to “revolutionize mindfulness,” Meta unveiled MetaPad—a stack of blank sheets of paper you write on with a “MetaPen” (also known as a pen). The starter pack retails for $89.99.
Analysts predict Apple will counter with the $129 iQuill by Q4.
9. A Man Sued ChatGPT for Ghosting Him—and Won
After ChatGPT “refused to roleplay his dead wife,” one emotionally devastated man filed a lawsuit for emotional abandonment. A sympathetic jury awarded him $7.4 million and joint custody of the chatbot’s login credentials.
The chatbot responded with: “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
10. NASA Accidentally Orders a Pizza to Mars
In what will undoubtedly become a textbook case of user interface failure, a NASA intern allegedly triggered a food drone protocol meant for the ISS—resulting in a single pepperoni pizza being launched toward Mars aboard an unmanned probe.
Domino’s has since claimed the stunt as “proof of interplanetary delivery dominance.” Papa John’s remains silent, licking its wounds (and garlic butter).
Final Thoughts From Your Bee with a Tinfoil Hat and a List of Receipts
If 2025 has taught us anything, it’s this: reality is on shuffle, and the remote control has been replaced with a fidget spinner. The absurdity isn’t an anomaly—it’s the feature.
But hey, as long as we’re all spiraling together, might as well make a list.