Every few months, we find ourselves trapped in a collective Groundhog Day where some damning new headline about Donald J. Trump emerges and the internet spins up like this is the thing—the final nail, the last straw, the moment when MAGA voters will blink, swallow, and whisper, “Oh no… we backed the wrong fascist.”
This week’s offering? Epstein. Again.
Apparently, someone believes the key to dismantling Trump’s cult of personality is re-litigating the one scandal they almost care about: child sex trafficking. Now, don’t get me wrong—I’m all for shining every flashlight into the deepest, dankest corners of that island of horrors. But if you think the Epstein connection is going to suddenly make the MAGA faithful put down their AR-15s and say, “You know what, maybe this guy is a little gross,” then you clearly haven’t been paying attention since 2015.
Because here’s a partial list of things Trump has been accused of—and often bragged about—that no one on the right has ever actually cared about:
- Bragged about grabbing women “by the pussy” — and not metaphorically. This was caught on tape. In his own voice. In what should have been career-ending audio. Instead, it became merch.
- Cheated on all three wives, including Melania—while she was postpartum—with a porn star he later paid off. That’s right: Stormy Daniels. $130,000 in hush money, confirmed, investigated, indicted.
- Sexual misconduct allegations from 26 women, including credible claims of assault and rape. One of those women? E. Jean Carroll, who won her civil suit against him. Trump was ordered to pay $83.3 million for defamation after denying he ever met her—despite the photo of them together.
- Mocked a disabled reporter on national television. Like, physically flailed his arms to do it. The same crowd who claims to be protecting “innocent life” cheered him on.
- Called white supremacists in Charlottesville “very fine people.”
- Suggested injecting bleach to fight COVID-19. Which, if you recall, led to an actual spike in poison control calls.
- Used the presidency to enrich his own businesses, redirecting government funds into his own resorts.
- Withheld aid to Ukraine to pressure them into investigating Biden’s son, then got impeached for it—and still claimed it was a “perfect call.”
- Tried to overturn a democratic election. You might remember January 6th? Where a mob attacked the Capitol because he told them to “fight like hell”? Yeah. That’s domestic terrorism, not brunch drama.
- Kept classified nuclear documents in a bathroom next to a chandelier. Indicted.
- Tried to buy Greenland. That one’s just bonus absurdity, but still.
So why is the Epstein angle—the one with years-old rumors, unsealed documents, and blurry flight logs—suddenly the thing we think will snap the spell?
Here’s the hard truth: MAGA doesn’t care. They never cared. Not when it was women, not when it was immigrants, not when it was children in cages, not even when it was American democracy bleeding out on the Senate floor. They won’t care now. Not because they’re too dumb—but because they’re too invested. It’s not that they don’t believe the accusations. It’s that they do, and they don’t think they matter.
The real scandal isn’t that Trump might be connected to Epstein.
The real scandal is that his base already knows—and they’re still riding the Trump Train like it’s a Sunday School hayride. The conspiracy isn’t the cover-up. It’s the cover-don’t-care.
So let’s stop pretending we’re unveiling some shocking revelation. Trump’s supporters didn’t get duped. They got seen. He didn’t hide the vileness. He modeled it. And they called it authenticity.
And now, after years of pretending this is all about policy differences or economic anxiety, we’ve reached the punchline: the loudest voices screaming about protecting children from drag queens are defending the man with the most accusations involving minors and sexual misconduct in modern American history.
Maybe the point of the Epstein files isn’t to prove anything new. Maybe it’s just to remind us that some people will sell their soul to the devil even after they’ve seen the receipt—and smile while they do it.