My Dearest Matthew,
The soft light of Christmas Day surrounds me now, and as I sit here, my heart is so impossibly full, it feels as if it might burst with gratitude and a joy I once believed was beyond my reach. Today, December 25th, marks a milestone not just on the calendar, but deep within my soul. To spend this, my very first Christmas with you, has been, honestly, the absolute best Christmas I have ever experienced. And that is a truth I declare with every fiber of my being.
You have this remarkable, effortless way of making every single day something I’ve never truly experienced before. You transform the ordinary into the extraordinary, the mundane into the magical. From our laughter-filled road trip adventures, navigating winter storms and cosmic fudge, to the dazzling lights of Chicago, every moment with you feels like a step into a brighter, more vibrant existence. Even the simple act of waking up next to you, here in this quiet hotel room, is a profound gift that I cherish beyond words.
Before you, I had adapted to a life of quiet endurance, of managing expectations, of finding strength in solitude. I had learned to navigate disappointment, to build resilience from betrayal, and to find pockets of joy that were often fleeting or hard-won. I believed I was okay, that I was complete, that my journey was mine to walk alone. I had even learned to prioritize work, to fill every quiet space with purpose, to avoid the ache of loneliness that the holidays once brought. My understanding of love had been shaped by past struggles, by a blueprint of what it wasn’t.
But then, you arrived. You came into my life like a gentle, persistent current, subtly, beautifully, re-directing my course. And you have given me something I honestly believed no one ever could: a profound, undeniable sense of being truly, unequivocally chosen, loved, and celebrated. You are always so supportive, so understanding, so patient, especially during those challenging mornings with my medication. You don’t just accept my complexities; you embrace them, see them as part of the tapestry that makes me, me. You have this incredible ability to look beyond the scars of my past, beyond the physical manifestations of my journey (my body, the effects of chemotherapy), and see the true person within.
And in return, you inspire me, effortlessly. You make me want to be the best version of myself for you, not out of obligation, not out of fear, not out of a desperate need for external validation, but out of a genuine, overwhelming desire to be worthy of the incredible kindness, joy, and love you so freely give. No one, truly, no one has ever given me that before. That desire to self-improve, not from a place of inadequacy, but from a place of profound love and inspiration, is a gift beyond measure. You make me want to reach for my highest self, to be softer, more vulnerable, more open to all the beautiful possibilities of life. You bring a clarity to my emotional landscape that I haven’t known before.
Thank you, my Matthew. Thank you for being you, always. Thank you for your unwavering support, your boundless laughter, and your infectious joy. Thank you for making every single day since we truly connected feel like an adventure I never knew I deserved. Thank you for striving every single day to make me the happiest man, and so consistently succeeding. You have, quite simply, changed my life, illuminating my world with a light I feared I would never find.
This Christmas, held close in your embrace, I know what true magic feels like. It’s not just in the twinkling lights or the festive songs. It’s in the quiet hum of your presence beside me, in the shared understanding, and in the profound, unwavering love that now fills my heart.
Merry Christmas, my love. Here’s to countless more.
Forever yours,
Brandon (Your very happy, very lucky man)