The Wildcard Wanderings: 40 Lessons I’ve Learned by 40 – Navigating Life’s Shifting Clouds

I will soon be hitting a very memorable milestone: my 40th birthday. Hitting this mark has prompted a deep dive into the accumulated wisdom (and occasional follies!) of four decades. Life, as I’ve come to know it, is a complex, ever-changing atmosphere, full of unexpected weather patterns. Looking back, I’ve gathered quite a collection of observations and truths.

So, in the spirit of sharing from my personal pollen patch, here are 40 Lessons I’ve Learned by 40 – reflections on navigating life’s shifting clouds, embracing authenticity, and finding clarity amidst the chaos.

1. Kindness is the Ultimate Strength: It costs nothing and carries immense power.

2. Authenticity is Non-Negotiable: Living genuinely is the only path to true peace. Trying to fit into someone else’s mold only suffocates your own essence.

3. Trauma Leaves Scars, But Also Wisdom: The darkest periods, like being outed and dealing with abuse, leave deep marks, but they also forge resilience and clarity.

4. Chosen Family is Life-Saving: When biological bonds break, the family you choose provides unconditional love and support – they are your true hive.

5. Your Worth is Not Negotiable: It is inherent, not dependent on external validation, relationships, or societal approval.

6. “No” is a Complete Sentence: Boundaries are crucial for self-preservation.

7. Medical Debt is a National Crisis: My RN background confirms this daily. No one should go bankrupt for getting sick.

8. The Body Keeps the Score: Unprocessed emotional pain will manifest physically. Address your mental health.

9. Vulnerability is a Superpower: True connection grows from genuine openness, not perfected facades.

10. Empathy is a Muscle: It needs to be exercised daily, especially for those you don’t understand.

11. Social Media is a Double-Edged Sword: It can build you up to the sky, then mercilessly tear you down. Guard your peace from the digital mob.

12. The Only “Expiration Date” is in the Groceries Aisle: Not on your worth, your dreams, or your ability to find love (even in your late 30s/early 40s!).

13. “Picky” is Self-Respectful: Knowing what you want and refusing to settle isn’t being difficult; it’s valuing yourself enough to wait for true honey.

14. Most Arguments Aren’t Worth the Energy: Pick your battles wisely; some clouds aren’t worth the thunder.

15. Listen More Than You Speak: You learn far more when you’re absorbing.

16. Travel is a Transformative Investment: Experiences enrich your soul in ways money can’t buy.

17. Always Have a Go-Bag (Mental or Physical): Be prepared for life’s unexpected storms.

18. The Gay Community is a Spectrum: We are not a monolith; embrace the beautiful diversity within our own ecosystem.

19. Queer Joy is a Form of Resistance: Celebrate your identity unapologetically.

20. Humor is a Survival Mechanism: Laughter cuts through darkness like sunshine through clouds.

21. It’s Okay to Outgrow People: Not everyone is meant to stay in your orbit forever, and that’s healthy.

22. Learning Never Stops: Curiosity keeps your mind vibrant and your spirit agile.

23. The Simple Pleasures are Often the Richest: A good meal, a quiet moment, a laugh with friends – these are true nectar.

24. Music Can Save Your Life: My 90s self and Mariah Carey can confirm. It’s a universal language for the soul.

25. Artistry Trumps Gimmicks: True talent and authenticity endure beyond fleeting trends (thinking of Christina Aguilera and Whitney Houston here!).

26. Being a “Nerd” is a Superpower: Embrace your passions; they lead to unexpected joys and connections.

27. Video Games Are Art: They can tell profound stories, challenge your mind, and build incredible worlds (The Last of Us, God of War, Horizon).

28. Even the Best Plans Crumble: (Looking at you, Cities: Skylines!). Adaptability is key when your perfect city turns into a traffic nightmare.

29. Justice is a Marathon, Not a Sprint: Progress is often incremental, especially for systemic issues like wealth inequality or homophobia.

30. Your Body is a Temple (Treat It Like One): Health is precious and hard-won.

31. Set Realistic Expectations (Especially for Shows and People): Not every season or relationship can be perfect (looking at you, Game of Thrones finale).

32. It’s Okay to Have a Guilty Pleasure: If it brings you joy, embrace it (True Blood, glorious corniness and all!).

33. Some Villains Are Just Fun to Hate: (Hello, Cersei Lannister). Their darkness makes the heroes shine brighter.

34. Find Your ‘Karen’ Antidote: Dealing with difficult people is a universal skill, honed by experience.

35. The South is Complex: It holds both deep-seated prejudices and incredible warmth. Recognize the nuances.

36. An Unapologetic Self is the Best Self: Whether it’s your fashion, your faith (or lack thereof), or your lifestyle, own it.

37. Time is Your Most Precious Resource: Spend it wisely, on people and pursuits that genuinely enrich your existence.

38. Gratitude is a Daily Practice: Acknowledging blessings, big or small, shifts your perspective.

39. Sometimes, the Silence is the Loudest Message: What goes unsaid can speak volumes. Learn to read between the lines.

40. You Are Always Learning: Life is the ultimate classroom, and every experience is a lesson waiting to be absorbed.

This is just a sampling from my personal compendium of wisdom, a collection of insights gathered under life’s ever-changing skies. I’m excited for the next chapter, for the lessons still to be learned, and for the continued journey.

What are some of the most profound lessons you’ve learned on your own path? Share your insights below – let’s keep this Wildcard Wanderings generating powerful reflections and guiding lights!