Chicago is trying to kill me with wind. That’s my opening statement. I’m pretty sure the windchill factor here is specifically designed to surgically remove any lingering warmth from your soul, especially if you’re a Texan accustomed to a slightly more… hospitable climate. My fingers are numb, my nose is running, and I’m wearing approximately seventeen layers of clothing that still don’t seem to be doing the trick. And yet, despite the relentless, biting chill, something extraordinary is happening here.
I’m in one of the most breathtaking cities in the country, fully immersed in the dazzling spectacle of the Christmas season. The city is glowing with millions of twinkling lights, every street feels like a scene from a holiday postcard, and the air hums with festive anticipation. And I’m here, in this magical, freezing wonderland, supporting my person, Matthew, as he steps into something new and exciting with his job. We’re navigating new routines, finding our rhythm, and soaking in every moment of this remarkable experience together. This isn’t just a trip; it’s a profound, deeply personal unfolding, and my heart, despite the external temperature, has never felt warmer.
The Hypocrisy of Holiday Perfection: When Real Love is an Act of Rebellion
I didn’t grow up thinking I’d ever get this—Christmas with a man who makes me feel safe, chosen, loved. A man who looks at me with tenderness and joy, who understands my complexities, and whose presence fills my life with genuine warmth. Honestly, for most of my life, the holiday season, particularly Christmas, hovered like a heavy, oppressive cloud. For so many, especially LGBTQ+ folks, it’s not a time of universal cheer but often one of profound isolation, strained family dynamics, and a painful reminder of being “other.”
The holiday season is mercilessly glamorized by movies and advertisements. We’re bombarded with images of perfect, heteronormative families sipping cocoa under a pristine, perfectly decorated tree, all wrapped up in a bow of uncomplicated joy. This manufactured ideal, often steeped in traditional, sometimes rigid, values, leaves little room for the messy, beautiful, real-world love that deviates from the script. For queer individuals, these idealized visions can feel like a constant, quiet sting, highlighting the absence of what was denied or the painful reality of being unaccepted by biological family. I thought I’d always be just surviving the holidays, strategically avoiding triggering conversations, performing acceptance, or simply retreating from the emotional labor. I never genuinely believed I’d be celebrating them in a way that felt truly authentic and expansive.
But here’s the beautiful, radical truth: this—this freezing, imperfect, stunning moment, building a life and finding love out loud in Chicago, in this political climate, in this world—feels like reclaiming the season. It’s an act of profound rebellion.
Joy as Resistance: Expanding the Orbit of Love
In a world that so often tries to diminish queer lives, to strip away our basic rights, and to make us feel grateful for scraps of acceptance (as I’ve often ranted in my Opinionated Stings), simply being openly queer, being profoundly happy, and building love out loud isn’t just personal—it’s revolutionary. It’s a defiant declaration that our lives are valid, our love is sacred, and our joy is an unyielding force that cannot be extinguished.
- Chosen Love as a Political Act: When biological families falter (as mine did for me), chosen family becomes the unwavering bedrock of existence. Matthew, Shelby, Melissa—these are the individuals who have consistently chosen me, loved me unconditionally, and celebrated every facet of who I am. To find love with Matthew, and to have that love so genuinely embraced by my chosen family here, is not just a personal victory; it’s a powerful political statement about the enduring, expansive nature of love beyond traditional confines.
- Fresh Starts as Defiance: My entire life trajectory has been about fresh starts—from escaping a traumatic youth to pivoting careers, and now, opening my heart to a love that makes life feel truly easy. Each new beginning, each step towards self-actualization, is a defiance of stagnation and past pain. This Christmas in Chicago, building new routines with Matthew, exploring a new city together—it’s all part of this continuous, joyful rebellion against letting the past define the present.
- Soft Joy as a Shield: In a society that often equates strength with stoicism or aggression, embracing soft joy—tenderness, vulnerability, laughter, and uncomplicated happiness—is its own form of resistance. It’s a refusal to let the harshness of the world harden your heart. It’s choosing to feel fully, to love openly, and to radiate peace, even when others might prefer you to be angry, bitter, or invisible. This softness, far from being a weakness, is a powerful shield against the forces that seek to diminish you.
I’m not sipping cocoa under a perfectly lit, sanitized tree in a Hallmark movie, where every conflict is resolved in 90 minutes. I’m shivering on the Magnificent Mile, bundled up against the biting wind, with the love of my life, and for the first time in memory, Christmas actually feels like mine. It feels authentic. It feels earned. It feels like a celebration not of a manufactured ideal, but of a real, messy, glorious life being built, day by day, with genuine connection and unapologetic joy.
This Christmas in Chicago, in all its freezing, glittering glory, is a powerful reminder that our happiness is our most potent weapon, our most profound act of rebellion. Let our joy radiate, expanding the very definition of what it means to be truly free.
What does “reclaiming” the holidays mean to you? How do you celebrate your authentic self in a world that might not always understand? Share your insights below—let’s keep this Opinionated Sting illuminating paths to joy and celebrating every act of personal rebellion.