Ah, yes. Another day in the ever-expanding telenovela that is Trump-era diplomacy—though “diplomacy” is generous, given that what we’re watching looks more like a middle school cafeteria where the kid with a lunchable (Putin) refuses to sit with the kid holding an expired free milk ticket (Zelenskyy), and the loud orange hall monitor (Trump) insists he’s arranging a “trilateral peace summit” somewhere between Chuck E. Cheese and a Bass Pro Shop.
On August 20, 2025, the analysis was clear: Vladimir Putin isn’t showing up to meet Ukraine’s Volodymyr Zelenskyy, no matter how many times Trump posts on Truth Social about “setting it up.” Because why would Putin agree to a selfie that makes Zelenskyy look like an equal? Legitimacy, after all, is Putin’s worst enemy—and Kyiv’s only defense.
The Kremlin’s Dating Profile: “No NATO, Must Love Crimea”
Let’s break down Putin’s preconditions, because they read like the world’s most toxic Tinder bio:
- “Don’t message me if you think Ukraine still exists inside its internationally recognized borders.”
- “Serious inquiries only: must accept my long-term relationship with Crimea.”
- “Swipe left if you’re in NATO or plan to be.”
- “Bonus points if you can get sanctions relief without me changing literally anything.”
In other words, Putin isn’t ghosting because he’s shy. He’s ghosting because he knows the minute he sits across from Zelenskyy, the cameras click, the pens come out, and suddenly Russia looks less like an eternal empire and more like the regional pest it is.
Why meet when you can delay? Why negotiate when the battlefield still offers leverage? Why risk Budapest’s catering staff when you can stall, blame, and throw propaganda parties back home?
The Optics: Careful Preparation, But Make It Forever
The Kremlin says any leaders’ meeting must be “carefully prepared”—which is diplomatic code for never happening in your lifetime, but thanks for asking.
Putin’s International Criminal Court warrant doesn’t exactly make venue shopping easy, either. Budapest is floated, Istanbul is mooted, but everywhere else looks at him the way TSA looks at a gallon of shampoo. “Sir, I’m going to have to confiscate that war crime.”
Meanwhile, Russia presses its battlefield advantages while refusing a pre-talks ceasefire. Because why stop killing people just to talk about killing people? Stalling isn’t a bug—it’s the feature. Delay is Russia’s favorite blunt instrument. After all, it keeps the West looking like a group project where everyone forgot the assignment due date but insists they’re “circling back.”
Trump: The Self-Appointed Wedding Planner of Geopolitics
Enter Trump, who insists he’s “setting it up” like he’s talking about a Mar-a-Lago vow renewal between Don Jr. and a ring light. He promises a Putin–Zelenskyy sit-down, followed by a trilateral with himself, because nothing screams “neutral arbiter” like the guy whose first impeachment was about trying to extort Ukraine for dirt on Joe Biden.
Trump calls this “a very good early step.” Translation: “I found a pen.” He assures allies the U.S. won’t send ground troops (a promise no one asked him to make) and talks up “security guarantees” that sound suspiciously like the warranty package you buy for a used Hyundai.
The Europeans, meanwhile, float a European-led reassurance force, which is adorable considering Moscow has drawn so many red lines around NATO presence that the map now looks like a preschooler got into the Sharpies.
Zelenskyy: The Last Grown-Up in the Room
Zelenskyy, God bless him, says he’s open to bilateral or trilateral talks—so long as they’re at the leaders’ level and not a glorified photo-op. Which means he knows exactly what Trump is offering: an Instagram reel with the “Peace in Our Time” filter and Don Jr. awkwardly clapping in the background.
But Zelenskyy can’t say no outright. He has to stay the adult, even while Moscow insists his presidential term “expired” under martial law, as though democracy stops existing the second Putin declares it so. That’s the real Kremlin play: delegitimize him until Western leaders stop inviting him to summits, then complain he’s “too unreasonable” to negotiate.
It’s geopolitical gaslighting with a side of vodka.
Europe: The World’s Most Exhausted Babysitter
The EU and UK, to their credit, keep showing up like frazzled babysitters at the world’s worst daycare. They press Moscow to engage, back Kyiv’s position, and float venues with the energy of someone asking, “Okay, what about Olive Garden? Everyone likes breadsticks.”
But the truth is, Europe is stuck between Trump’s delusional wedding planning, Putin’s war-crimes-only policy, and a battlefield that won’t stop bleeding long enough for anyone to pass a peace agenda.
So what we got on August 20 wasn’t a breakthrough. It was a scheduling meeting that produced no calendar, no ceasefire, no map, and no guarantees on paper—just the promise of “pressure” and “next steps.” The diplomatic equivalent of adding “gym” to your New Year’s resolutions.
The Blame Game: How to Say Nothing and Make It Everyone Else’s Fault
Here’s the genius of Putin’s stalling: by refusing to meet, he sustains leverage. By insisting on impossible preconditions, he ensures Zelenskyy looks inflexible. And by claiming the West won’t bend, he gets to frame the entire mess as Kyiv and NATO being “unreasonable.”
It’s not that Russia doesn’t want peace. It’s that Russia wants surrender—and it wants to call it peace.
Meanwhile, Trump takes credit for “early steps” toward an imaginary summit that will never happen, while the Kremlin whispers, “See? We tried. They’re the ones who won’t compromise.” It’s like watching an arsonist complain that the fire department won’t negotiate the flames down to a “reasonable level.”
The Larger Joke: Democracy as an Unpaid Internship
The tragicomic layer here is that this whole spectacle reveals how fragile the theater of legitimacy is. Zelenskyy risks everything by sitting at the table; Putin risks everything by acknowledging him there. Trump risks nothing—except maybe forgetting the name of the country he’s supposedly negotiating for.
And the rest of us? We get to watch democracy reduced to an unpaid internship where everyone’s boss is a war criminal and the HR department is permanently out to lunch.
Closing Reflection: The Sound of Chairs That Never Pull Out
So no, there won’t be a Putin–Zelenskyy summit in two weeks. Or two months. Or maybe ever. Not because calendars can’t align, but because legitimacy is the one thing Moscow can’t afford to give away for free.
In Trump’s America, we’ve learned to treat “photo-op diplomacy” as an actual policy—where the only measurable outcomes are camera angles and catering menus. But Putin knows better. He knows delay is power. He knows stalling sustains propaganda. And he knows the world will keep mistaking “pressure” for progress long enough for him to redraw the borders again.
The real question isn’t whether Putin and Zelenskyy will meet. It’s whether the West is prepared to stop confusing imaginary summits with actual strategy.
Because right now, the only thing truly being “set up” is the global audience—waiting for chairs to pull out that will never be filled, while the battlefield writes the only script that matters.