Latest posts
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Sneak Peek: The First Chapter of Sleeping Fairy
Back in 2018, I drafted a retelling of Sleeping Beauty that was never really about castles or curses. It was about MySpace. It was about being twenty-one in the early 2000s—when dial-up whined through your bedroom wall, when your whole life could be demolished in a single public post, when “delete” wasn’t an option because
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The Comedy Coup: South Park, Trump, and the Paramount Problem
America has always needed its court jesters. Kings and presidents come and go, ruling with pomp, paranoia, and paranoia dressed up as policy. But the jester—the clown with a knife behind the punchline—never leaves. In 2025, that jester wears a Colorado beanie, carries a construction paper sign, and is contractually obligated to Paramount+ for $1.5
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When the Crime Rate Falls, Call in the Troops
Washington, D.C. is enjoying its lowest violent crime levels in over thirty years. The data says so: a 35% drop in 2024, another 26% decline so far in 2025. Homicide is down. Robbery is down. Carjackings are down. The FBI and DOJ dashboards are practically waving at us with little “congratulations, you survived the nineties”
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Wanting Without Shame: Cozy-Gothic, Consent-Forward Vampire Love Story. Beau and the Blood out now!
Make tea. Silence your phone. Read the first chapter with the porch light on, then let the house darken around you. Notice how the rooms respond—not with jump scares, but with a quiet leveling when someone says a true thing out loud. Watch two men ask each other for what they need and hear yes…
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Trump Taps Heritage Foundation Economist to Run Bureau of Labor Statistics — Because What Is Math Without Ideology?
It’s easy to shrug off an appointment like this as inside-baseball politics. But the numbers the BLS produces influence interest rates, Social Security cost-of-living adjustments, wage negotiations, and how every American feels about the state of the economy. Put the wrong storyteller in charge of those numbers, and you can warp not just policy, but…
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When You Tell Me Restaurants Are Under Threat, I Say: “No Sh*t, They Literally Are”
Restaurants are collapsing like dominoes in a windstorm, but apparently CNN still felt the need to headline it: “Restaurants Are Under Threat as Costs Skyrocket and Consumers Cut Back.” If you read that and thought, Oh, really? Food costs are eating the industry alive, who could’ve guessed?—you’re both correct and complicit in the slowdown of
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When Numbers Lie and the Economy is “Perfect” (According to the Man Who Invented Truth)
It’s another day in America, and the President has once again reminded us that numbers are not to be trusted. Not his numbers, of course—those are gold-plated, patriotic, and possibly blessed by the ghost of Reagan—but other people’s numbers. Specifically, the ones from the Bureau of Labor Statistics that dared to suggest inflation is rising
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Side Effects May Include: Inflation, Nationalism, and Spontaneous Economic Collapse
In a recent episode of The Price is Wrong, Trump proposed imposing 250% tariffs on imported pharmaceuticals, claiming other countries are unfairly pricing medications. This move threatens to significantly raise costs for American patients, burdening the working class while masking the initiative as nationalism. The plan risks pushing the sick further into financial despair without…
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To the Moon, With Malice: Sean Duffy, Space Nukes, and the Bold American Tradition of Saying “Oops” in Orbit
Because nothing says “we’ve got this under control” like a man best known for The Real World: Boston now overseeing the launch of a nuclear reactor on the moon, Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy—yes, that Sean Duffy—is expected to announce new directives to fast-track lunar radiation and orbital real estate development in what experts are calling
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Move Over, The Notebook—My Boyfriend Moved to a Shithole For Me
Romeo drank poison for love.Jack froze to death in the North Atlantic.Allie gave up wealth and status for Noah’s sweaty carpentry chest. And Matthew?Matthew moved to Abilene, Texas. And that, dear reader, is what we call a real-ass love story. Let’s be honest—every great romance needs a setting.Pride and Prejudice had the English countryside.When Harry