Latest posts
-
The Dictator from the Dollar Store: Why Our Trump Authoritarian Nightmare Feels Like It Was Ordered on Temu
We are living through a moment where the phrase “ethnic cleansing” is being rebranded as a lifestyle choice by the Department of Homeland Security, but because this is America in 2025, the branding feels less like a terrifying historical echo and more like a drop-shipped product that arrived three weeks late in a crushed box.
-
The Kingpin’s Pardon: Why the War on Drugs Only Applies to People Without a Motorcade
The American capacity for cognitive dissonance is usually impressive. It is the engine that keeps the suburbs quiet and the stock market humming. But on November 28, 2025, President Donald Trump decided to test the structural integrity of that engine by pouring sugar, sand, and a few gallons of high-grade cocaine directly into the gas
-
The Emperor Has No Stamina: How the “High Energy” Presidency Became a Part-Time Job
The defining myth of Donald Trump’s political existence has always been a biological impossibility. He sold us the idea that he was a genetic marvel, a man who required no sleep, subsisted on fast food, and possessed a battery life that defied the laws of thermodynamics. He mocked his opponents as “low energy,” “sleepy,” and
-
Gratitude in the Blast Zone: A Love Letter to Matthew, Chemo, Chihuahuas, and the Art of Not Dying in Texas
We are told to be thankful for the big things: health, family, the roof over our heads. But this year, in the twilight of 2025, I find myself offering a quiet, fervent prayer to Beyonce and Lady Gaga of gratitude for something far more specific, something that doesn’t fit neatly on a Hallmark card. I
-
The Myth of the “Good Old Days”: A Thanksgiving Toast to the Eras That Tried to Erase Us
We gather here today, in the warm glow of incandescent bulbs and familial obligation, to perform the sacred ritual of forced gratitude. The table is set. The turkey is dry. The cranberry sauce retains the ridges of the can, a gelatinous monument to industrial efficiency. And around the perimeter, a collection of relatives—some beloved, some
-
We Believe in Second Helpings, Not Second Chances
The defining ritual of the American Thanksgiving is the gluttonous pivot. It is that precise, lubricated moment when the belt is loosened, the first plate is cleared, and a collective, national decision is made that excess is not a sin but a patriotic duty. We pile the mashed potatoes high enough to require zoning permits.
-
The unauthorized History of the Home of the Brave: A Guide to 400 Years of squatter’s Rights
We like to tell ourselves a very specific story about the United States. It is a story printed on glossy brochures, recited by politicians with wet eyes, and taught to children before they are old enough to read the footnotes. It is the story of a “Nation of Immigrants,” a melting pot where the tired,
-
The First Illegal Aliens Wore Buckle Shoes: A Thanksgiving Guide to Stolen Land and Hypocrisy
The truth is that America is a messy, violent, beautiful, hypocritical project. It is a country capable of profound generosity and staggering cruelty. We are a nation of immigrants who hate immigrants. We are a nation born of revolution that fears change. We are a nation of stolen land that is obsessed with property rights.
-
The Great American Price Gouge: Why Your Grocery Bill Is a Corporate Ransom Note
The modern American experience is defined by a very specific, recurring moment of vertigo that occurs standing in the aisle of a fluorescent-lit grocery store. You are holding a box of cereal, a product made of corn dust and sugar that costs pennies to manufacture, and you are staring at a price tag that suggests
-
Legally Bland: How the Trump DOJ Tried to Cast Lindsey Halligan as a Prosecutor and Forgot to Read the Script
We have spent the last two decades treating the movie Legally Blonde as a lighthearted rom-com, but in the year 2025, it has revealed itself to be a prophetic warning about the dangers of underestimating a woman with a plan. The central thesis of that film, beneath the pink sequins and the scented résumé, was