Latest posts

  • Cash in Hand, Case Closed: Trump’s Border Czar’s Fifty-Grand Mulligan

    Cash in Hand, Case Closed: Trump’s Border Czar’s Fifty-Grand Mulligan

    There are a lot of ways to bribe a man. Some are delicate—offshore accounts, art loans, consulting contracts that pay for “advisory” work never rendered. Others are cinematic—duffel bags of crisp bills, shady meetings in garages. Then there’s Tom Homan, the White House’s border czar, who apparently prefers the Costco version: fifty thousand dollars in…

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  • Glorious Chronicle of the Leader’s Magnificent Week

    Glorious Chronicle of the Leader’s Magnificent Week

    There are few weeks in the long, triumphant reign of our Beloved Commander that shine so brightly as this past one. The sun itself, perhaps fearful of casting a shadow upon his perfect silhouette, rose each day only to illuminate his strong jawline, his vibrant mane, and his posture that would make even the marble…

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  • The Strongman Starter Pack: From Manila to Mar-a-Lago

    The Strongman Starter Pack: From Manila to Mar-a-Lago

    Rodrigo Duterte’s rise in the Philippines wasn’t an accident—it was a case study in how democracies willingly hand the keys to strongmen when fear, spectacle, and fatigue collide. Donald Trump is running the same script in America: cult of personality, demonization of enemies, attacks on the press, selective empathy, institutional erosion, and an endless blurring…

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  • America’s H-1B Visa Paywall: $100,000 to Enter, Please Remove Your Shoes

    America’s H-1B Visa Paywall: $100,000 to Enter, Please Remove Your Shoes

    The United States has many traditions: fireworks on the Fourth, pumpkin spice in the fall, and quietly re-engineering its immigration system with the grace of a demolition derby. This week’s entry comes courtesy of President Donald Trump, who signed a proclamation adding a $100,000 fee to accompany—or maybe supplement, or maybe just vaguely menace—every H-1B…

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  • Trump’s War on the Press: Now With 97% More Whining

    Trump’s War on the Press: Now With 97% More Whining

    America, pull up a chair, because the President has once again declared war on the one enemy that never invaded him, never stormed his casinos, and never ghosted him on Tinder: the press. Yes, the man who built his political career by calling CNN “fake news” has decided the time has come to escalate from…

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  • Late-Night Doesn’t Lose Its Backbone: Colbert, Fallon, and Meyers all respond to Jimmy Kimmel Being Silenced

    Late-Night Doesn’t Lose Its Backbone: Colbert, Fallon, and Meyers all respond to Jimmy Kimmel Being Silenced

    Free Speech Isn’t a Punchline—Until It Is When ABC yanked Jimmy Kimmel Live! off the air “indefinitely,” the expectation was that the room would get quiet. Instead, the late-night hosts turned the mics up. Seth Meyers, Jimmy Fallon, Stephen Colbert—they all responded, each with a different spin, but all with the same undercurrent: “This isn’t…

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  • Pam Bondi Declares War on the First Amendment—Then Googles What It Actually Says

    Pam Bondi Declares War on the First Amendment—Then Googles What It Actually Says

    You’d think the Attorney General of the United States would know the First Amendment. You’d think she’d have at least skimmed it once in law school, maybe while flipping through her notes on “How Not to Start a Constitutional Crisis.” And yet here we are. Pam Bondi—Donald Trump’s Attorney General—managed to light Washington on fire…

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  • ANTIFA: The Shadowy Organization That Doesn’t Exist (But Still Lives Rent-Free in GOP Heads)

    ANTIFA: The Shadowy Organization That Doesn’t Exist (But Still Lives Rent-Free in GOP Heads)

    America has a long history of misunderstanding things on purpose. Evolution? “Just a theory.” Climate change? “Maybe the sun’s just in a mood.” The First Amendment? “It means I can say the n-word at work without getting fired.” And now, the most recent, most hysterical misunderstanding: ANTIFA. Yes, ANTIFA—our country’s favorite boogeyman, the clandestine, hyper-coordinated,…

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  • Republicans Canceled Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert Because Free Speech Is Only for Them

    Republicans Canceled Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert Because Free Speech Is Only for Them

    The Blood in the Water Let’s get this out of the way: Jimmy Kimmel is off the air. Pulled by ABC. Indefinite hiatus. No return date. Disney—the big corporate mouse with the oversized ears and the even bigger fear of FCC regulatory hellfire—yanked “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” because he made jokes about Charlie Kirk after Kirk…

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  • The Half-Mast Presidency: Selective Empathy as a National Ritual

    The Half-Mast Presidency: Selective Empathy as a National Ritual

    Flags for Some, Not for Others There is nothing quite as American as fighting about flags. We argue about who can kneel before them, who can burn them, whether rainbows belong on them, and now—who gets the honor of lowering them. President Donald Trump ordered U.S. flags lowered nationwide for Charlie Kirk. A right-wing commentator…

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