Latest posts
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When the Curtain Falls: Diane Keaton Leaves a World Unworthy of Her Talent
I want to start by acknowledging that writing satire about someone’s death is delicate—especially when the person is beloved, irreplaceable, and has left an indelible mark on our lives. Diane Keaton’s passing on October 11, 2025, at age 79, is real grief; the only ironic jabs I’ll risk are at the world she leaves behind,
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Outbreak of the RFK Jr. and Russ Vought Virus: No CDC Employees Left To Treat It
If you ever needed proof that America has officially become a satire written by a malfunctioning chatbot, behold: the CDC accidentally fired itself during a government shutdown. Not metaphorically. Not “downsized for efficiency.” Literally—hundreds of our nation’s top epidemiologists, lab chiefs, and field investigators got layoff emails mid-pandemic prep because someone in Washington pressed “Send
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X’s Algorithmic Hunger Games: When Your Feed Becomes a MAGA Mall
If you logged into X on October 9 or 10, 2025, you probably expected the usual feed: a few memes, your cousin’s dog video, maybe one of those cryptic subtweets from someone who still thinks “vaguebooking” works in 280 characters. Instead, what you got was a carnival barker’s megaphone of right-wing political content—accounts you never
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Shutdown Roulette: Now Playing, “Will You Get Paid for the Work You Already Did?”
The United States government has perfected a kind of experimental theater in which the actors are unpaid, the audience is hostage, and the script is rewritten mid-performance by whichever lawyer has the best thesaurus. This week’s act: the White House Office of Management and Budget arguing, with the straight face of a man who has
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Stephen Miller’s Plenary Power Hour: When Fascism Becomes a Talking Point
On October 7, 2025, in what might generously be called a “CNN moment” (though it felt more like a YouTube conspiracy livestream accidentally slipped into prime time), Stephen Miller declared with a straight face that Donald Trump has “plenary authority.” He said it in the kind of lawyerly monotone that makes you think it’s a
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Republicans Know How to Win, Democrats Know How to Lose, Let’s Steal the Playbook and Keep Our Souls
If American politics were a sport, Republicans would be the team that shows up in matching uniforms, drills the exact same play for three seasons, and then executes it with a discipline usually reserved for marching bands and cults. Democrats, by contrast, would be the club team made up of brilliant but argumentative grad students
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Why “Be Civil” Is a Trap and How to Reclaim Argument Without Letting Authoritarians Win
There is a comfortable version of civic medicine that liberals love to prescribe: a warm sermon about niceness, a gentle chiding to turn down the volume, a plea to swap Twitter tirades for polite coffee with people you secretly loathe. It sounds virtuous, and in a vacuum it would be. But these are not normal
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“Democrat Layoffs” and the Great Shutdown Purge
Day five of the shutdown, and the White House’s playbook just got darker. At 12:01 a.m. on October 1, federal funding lapsed. By October 5, director Kevin Hassett appeared on State of the Union to publicly warn: yes, mass federal layoffs could begin—if Trump deems negotiations “going nowhere.” He framed this as a conditional escalation,
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Speaker Johnson’s Imaginary Health Plan: How to Invent a Shutdown Crisis in One Sound Bite
The playbook is simple. Find a bureaucratic chart so boring it could put actuaries to sleep, then scream into a cable-news camera that it means “Democrats are shutting down the government to give illegal immigrants free health care.” If you’re lucky, you’ll trend on X by lunchtime. If you’re Mike Johnson, you repeat it on
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Lutnick, Loudmouth: How the Commerce Secretary Doesn’t Following The Epstein Trump Line
Let’s begin by acknowledging how truly absurd this feels. In the middle of a government shutdown, with climate projects canceled and agencies limping in partial darkness, Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick chose today to step into a conspiracy swamp wearing clown shoes. As reported by ABC News, he publicly elected to call Jeffrey Epstein “the greatest