Latest posts
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Trump’s The Art of the Steal: Biden Got 105 Israeli Hostages Released With First Ceasefire
In international diplomacy, plagiarism usually comes in subtler forms. A reworded communique here, a borrowed talking point there, maybe a flag repositioned in front of the podium to make it look like something new. But leave it to Donald Trump to turn global peacemaking into the intellectual equivalent of copying someone else’s term paper and
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San Francisco: Elon Musk Says Send in the Troops, but Make It Disruptive
In a city famous for kombucha, kale, and kombucha-flavored kale, it was only a matter of time before San Francisco’s billionaires decided the next great innovation would be fascism—but with better UX. On October 12, 2025, the San Francisco Chronicle reported the unthinkable: Elon Musk and Marc Benioff, two of the Bay Area’s most inflated
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Trump’s America Rediscovers Measles and Other 19th-Century Hobbies
Congratulations, America. We’ve finally done it. We’ve brought back a disease that modern medicine already defeated when bell-bottoms were still a gleam in disco’s eye. Somewhere, Jonas Salk is shaking his head in the afterlife, muttering, “I leave you people alone for sixty years and you start playing Oregon Trail again.” According to NPR, the
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The AI Bubble Is Eating the Economy Alive (and Still Asking for Dessert)
There’s a fine line between innovation and collective delusion, and we are currently sprinting across it in a pair of $2,000 AI-branded sneakers financed at 22 percent APR. Fortune’s latest interview with Morgan Stanley Wealth Management CIO Lisa Shalett reads less like financial analysis and more like a desperate intervention at an industry support group.
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When the Curtain Falls: Diane Keaton Leaves a World Unworthy of Her Talent
I want to start by acknowledging that writing satire about someone’s death is delicate—especially when the person is beloved, irreplaceable, and has left an indelible mark on our lives. Diane Keaton’s passing on October 11, 2025, at age 79, is real grief; the only ironic jabs I’ll risk are at the world she leaves behind,
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Outbreak of the RFK Jr. and Russ Vought Virus: No CDC Employees Left To Treat It
If you ever needed proof that America has officially become a satire written by a malfunctioning chatbot, behold: the CDC accidentally fired itself during a government shutdown. Not metaphorically. Not “downsized for efficiency.” Literally—hundreds of our nation’s top epidemiologists, lab chiefs, and field investigators got layoff emails mid-pandemic prep because someone in Washington pressed “Send
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X’s Algorithmic Hunger Games: When Your Feed Becomes a MAGA Mall
If you logged into X on October 9 or 10, 2025, you probably expected the usual feed: a few memes, your cousin’s dog video, maybe one of those cryptic subtweets from someone who still thinks “vaguebooking” works in 280 characters. Instead, what you got was a carnival barker’s megaphone of right-wing political content—accounts you never
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Shutdown Roulette: Now Playing, “Will You Get Paid for the Work You Already Did?”
The United States government has perfected a kind of experimental theater in which the actors are unpaid, the audience is hostage, and the script is rewritten mid-performance by whichever lawyer has the best thesaurus. This week’s act: the White House Office of Management and Budget arguing, with the straight face of a man who has
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Stephen Miller’s Plenary Power Hour: When Fascism Becomes a Talking Point
On October 7, 2025, in what might generously be called a “CNN moment” (though it felt more like a YouTube conspiracy livestream accidentally slipped into prime time), Stephen Miller declared with a straight face that Donald Trump has “plenary authority.” He said it in the kind of lawyerly monotone that makes you think it’s a
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Republicans Know How to Win, Democrats Know How to Lose, Let’s Steal the Playbook and Keep Our Souls
If American politics were a sport, Republicans would be the team that shows up in matching uniforms, drills the exact same play for three seasons, and then executes it with a discipline usually reserved for marching bands and cults. Democrats, by contrast, would be the club team made up of brilliant but argumentative grad students