Latest posts
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The Ham Sandwich Walks Free: The Department of Justice Keeps Losing Arguments with Reality
The Justice Department keeps pulling the lever, and the indictment machine keeps blinking “try again” like it’s a broken arcade game with federal letterhead. There are a few sacred American traditions you can set your watch by, even if nobody can agree what time it is anymore. One is that a federal grand jury will
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Indiana Redistricting Meltdown: Trump Pressures GOP and the Map Refuses to Move
A rare intraparty “no” lands in the middle of the national gerrymander arms race, and suddenly everyone is pretending they just love local control again. Indiana’s Statehouse spent this week acting like a polite Midwestern family hosting a reunion while a brawl happens behind the deviled eggs. The fight was over House Bill 1032, a
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FEMA 2.0: The Ultimate Subscription Service for Survival (Basic Tier Only)
Because nothing says “efficient government” like firing half the lifeguards while the pool is on fire. If you have been looking at the escalating climate apocalypse—the hurricanes that now have their own Instagram influencers, the wildfires that are visible from Mars, the floods that are turning basement apartments into aquariums—and thinking, “You know what this
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The Federal Reserve Just Handed You a Discount Coupon for a Store That Is On Fire
Jerome Powell is the tired referee in a game where the scoreboard is broken, the players are cheating, and the owner is screaming from the luxury box to let the home team win or else. If you want to understand the current state of the American economy, you do not need to look at a
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The Red Fortress of Miami Has Fallen to a Woman Named Eileen
It turns out that telling a city of immigrants that immigrants are the problem is not a winning strategy, even if you say it in Spanish. In a development that has caused political strategists in Washington to spill their double espressos and check their maps to ensure Miami is still in Florida, Democrat Eileen Higgins
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The Two-Week Autopsy: How Congress Solved a War Crime with a Single Shrug
If a missile strikes a survivor in the Caribbean and Mike Rogers is there to ignore it, did it even happen? In the annals of American military oversight, there are investigations that take years, thousands of pages of testimony, and forensic deep dives that uncover the very soul of the machine. And then there is
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Trump Affordability Hoax: Welcome to the Carnival of Economic Gaslighting Where the Cotton Candy Costs a Mortgage
When the President tells you the price of eggs is down, but your receipt says you just took out a second mortgage for an omelet, you are living in the Golden Age of the Grift. On Tuesday night, the traveling circus of the forty-seventh presidency descended upon Mount Pocono, Pennsylvania, bringing with it the familiar
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The Art of the Foreclosure: How the Trump Peace Plan Turned Sovereignty Into a Distressed Asset
We are watching the privatization of geopolitics, where nations are not conquered but liquidated for pennies on the dollar. It was inevitable that the end of the post-war international order would not arrive with a bang or a whimper, but with the slap of a leather portfolio on a mahogany table. The portfolio in question
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The Golden Globes: Where We Pretend to Care About Art While Worshiping at the Altar of Marketing Spend
Paul Thomas Anderson wins the math, but Wicked won the culture, and my heart belongs to a movie about kicking. The Golden Globes have always been the drunk uncle of the awards season family reunion. They are loud, occasionally embarrassing, and usually smell faintly of desperate bribery. But this year, the nominations announcement felt less
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The Supreme Court is About to Turn the Constitution into a Customer Service Complaint Line That Goes Straight to Voicemail
If you have ever looked at the federal government and thought, “You know what this place needs? More impulsivity and less adult supervision,” then boy, does the Supreme Court have a treat for you. The high court is currently preparing to hand Donald Trump the keys to the regulatory state, effectively allowing him to treat