Latest posts

  • Deportation by Stopwatch: Trump’s TPS Hunger Games

    Deportation by Stopwatch: Trump’s TPS Hunger Games

    The Trump administration has rediscovered its favorite pastime: deportation as sport. On August 20, 2025, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals granted the White House an emergency stay that lets officials move forward with ending Temporary Protected Status (TPS) for roughly 60,000 migrants from Honduras, Nicaragua, and Nepal. Nothing says “America First” like telling the

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  • How to Politely Erase History Without Mussing Your Hair: The Smithsonian vs. The Woke Exterminators

    How to Politely Erase History Without Mussing Your Hair: The Smithsonian vs. The Woke Exterminators

    There’s a special kind of American irony in watching a White House that can’t stop talking about “cancel culture” spend its waning days trying to cancel the Smithsonian. Canceling a comedian’s Netflix special is authoritarianism, we’re told. But rewriting a museum plaque about Benjamin Franklin’s enslaved servants? That’s patriotism, baby. On August 20, 2025, Donald

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  • Hurricane Erin: America’s Latest Reality Show, Now Streaming Live from the Atlantic

    Hurricane Erin: America’s Latest Reality Show, Now Streaming Live from the Atlantic

    It’s August 2025, and Hurricane Erin—currently whirling itself into a Category 2 diva act about 200 miles off the North Carolina coast—is serving as yet another reminder that America’s infrastructure is mostly just plywood, wishful thinking, and a governor’s press conference stapled to a sandbag. Erin, once a strapping Category 5 beast, has now “weakened”

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  • The Art of the Photo-Op: Trump, Zelenskyy, and the Global Summit That Was Basically a Calendar Invite

    The Art of the Photo-Op: Trump, Zelenskyy, and the Global Summit That Was Basically a Calendar Invite

    Today in Washington, history was made. Not the good kind, not the kind they etch in marble or even scribble in textbooks. No, today was the kind of history where Donald Trump hosts Volodymyr Zelenskyy and a rotating cast of European leaders at the White House, declares it “a very good early step,” and then

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  • When Democracy Gets a Make-over: Trump’s Executive Order to Cancel Voting

    When Democracy Gets a Make-over: Trump’s Executive Order to Cancel Voting

    At long last, the White House has announced a new wellness initiative: an executive order banning mail‑in and electronic voting ahead of the 2026 midterms. Why? Because our hero (in designer suits) says elections are haunted by “massive fraud”—without evidence, but with extra flourish. He’s calling it the “MAIL‑IN BALLOT HOAX” and wants us back

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  • Netflix Giveth, Netflix Taketh Away: A Funeral March for the Shows We Loved

    Netflix Giveth, Netflix Taketh Away: A Funeral March for the Shows We Loved

    The streaming economy is nothing if not biblical: seven years of plenty, seven years of famine, seven executives screaming “cut costs!” while canceling your comfort show. And so, on August 17, Netflix opened the velvet curtain to reveal the latest mass grave of content. FUBAR? Dead. The Residence? Evicted. Pulse? Flatline. The Recruit? Dishonorably discharged.

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  • Nicolle Wallace, Trump’s New Nemesis: When “MSNBC IS DEAD!” Becomes a Campaign Platform

    Nicolle Wallace, Trump’s New Nemesis: When “MSNBC IS DEAD!” Becomes a Campaign Platform

    It always starts the same way with Donald Trump: a half-formed grunt of a post, a cryptic one-word drop (“Bela”), and then the digital jackals descend. A follower serves up a meme, Trump slaps his digital stamp of approval on it, and suddenly we’re all trapped in the world’s saddest reboot of Mad Men, except

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  • When the Crime Rate Falls, Call in the Troops

    When the Crime Rate Falls, Call in the Troops

    Washington, D.C. is enjoying its lowest violent crime levels in over thirty years. The data says so: a 35% drop in 2024, another 26% decline so far in 2025. Homicide is down. Robbery is down. Carjackings are down. The FBI and DOJ dashboards are practically waving at us with little “congratulations, you survived the nineties”

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  • Democracy, Sushi, and the Border Patrol: A California Tragedy in Three Acts

    Democracy, Sushi, and the Border Patrol: A California Tragedy in Three Acts

    This wasn’t just an optics mess. It was the full collision of American contradictions: California progressivism on stage, federal authoritarianism in the wings, and a museum built on history’s wounds forced into a cameo role. But Newsom understood the assignment. Trump may love chaos, but Newsom knows how to surf it. And on that plaza…

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  • mRNA, MAHA, and MAGA: Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s Grand Experiment in Disappointing Everyone at Once

    mRNA, MAHA, and MAGA: Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s Grand Experiment in Disappointing Everyone at Once

    Robert F. Kennedy Jr. didn’t just mishandle a policy rollout—he detonated a week-long political chain reaction that left every camp feeling betrayed. MAGA thinks he’s a fraud. MAHA thinks he’s a sellout. The White House thinks he’s a liability. And in the rarest twist of all, they’re all right.

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