Latest posts
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SEAL Team 6, Shellfish, and the Raid That Nobody Briefed
On September 5, 2025, the New York Times detonated a story so bizarre it sounded like rejected fan fiction from a Tom Clancy knockoff: in 2019, SEAL Team 6 allegedly slipped into North Korea to plant a covert listening device, stumbled across a small boat of unarmed shellfishers, opened fire, and then—because this was the
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The Department of Defense Is Dead. Long Live the Department of War.
On September 5, 2025, President Donald J. Trump signed an executive order that rebranded the Department of Defense as the “Department of War.” It was the kind of move that sounds like a late-night Onion headline but instead became federal reality, complete with Pete Hegseth introducing himself on Fox & Friends the next morning as
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The Jobs Report That Wasn’t a Crash, Just a Stall With the Seatbelt Light On
On September 5, 2025, the August jobs report landed like an anemic cough. U.S. nonfarm payrolls rose by a mere 22,000, a number so small you could tuck it into a single suburban warehouse and still have space for a pickleball court. The unemployment rate ticked up to 4.3%, the highest in nearly four years.
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Trump the Informant? Mike Johnson’s Improv History Lesson
On September 5, 2025, House Speaker Mike Johnson stood before reporters and unleashed a claim so improbable it deserves its own Netflix docudrama: Donald J. Trump, former president, serial golf cheat, and part-time beauty pageant impresario, was an FBI informant against Jeffrey Epstein. The defense was as brazen as it was bizarre. Johnson, cornered by
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The Rose Garden Wasn’t the Only Thing Repaved
On September 4, 2025, President Trump staged what the official invite called a “White House dinner to celebrate American innovation.” What actually unfolded was a glossy loyalty ritual with better catering. The guest list read like a Silicon Valley shareholders’ meeting relocated to Washington: Tim Cook, Sundar Pichai, Sam Altman, Mark Zuckerberg, Satya Nadella, Arvind
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Robert F. Kennedy Jr. vs. Science: The Senate Hearing That Doubled as a Public Health Funeral
On September 4, 2025, Robert F. Kennedy Jr.—yes, that Kennedy, now moonlighting as the nation’s Health and Human Services Secretary—sat before the Senate Finance Committee for a grilling so blistering it should’ve required SPF 100. What unfolded was three hours of bipartisan carnage, a hearing less about policy than about the collective horror of watching
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Jimmy Kimmel vs. The Delicate, Chubby Little Teacup
On September 2, 2025, Jimmy Kimmel returned from a two-month vacation and delivered a monologue so sharp you could butter your toast with it. He didn’t just dip into politics. He torched the President of the United States with the glee of a man who’d been storing up insults in a Notes app all summer.
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Trump vs. Harvard: When Federal Grants Become Campaign Props
On September 3, 2025, U.S. District Judge Allison D. Burroughs did something rare in modern America: she called bullshit in a ruling and put the federal government back in its constitutional corner. Her decision ordered the Trump administration to unfreeze nearly $2.2 billion in research grants to Harvard, a freeze that was less about academic
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From Chicago to the Crescent City: Trump’s Traveling Law-and-Order Roadshow
On September 3, 2025, President Trump announced that New Orleans—yes, the city of brass bands, beignets, and waterlines nobody can forget—was next on his federal “law-and-order” tour. Fresh off threatening Chicago with “National Guard domination” and still basking in the glow of his unprecedented takeover of Washington, D.C.’s police force, Trump pivoted south, declaring that
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When the Music Stops: America’s Job Market Plays Musical Chairs with No Extra Chairs
On September 3, 2025, the Bureau of Labor Statistics did something rare: it delivered a plot twist. The newest JOLTS report showed that job openings slipped to 7.181 million in July, falling below the roughly 7.2 million unemployed Americans for the first time since April 2021. Translation: there are now more people looking for chairs