Latest posts

  • Trump Gives His Expert Medical Advice on Tylenol

    Trump Gives His Expert Medical Advice on Tylenol

    On September 22, 2025, the White House did something most of us reserve for Facebook comment threads and extended family group chats: it held a medical symposium based entirely on vibes. There, under the grand chandeliers, President Donald J. Trump—flanked by Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.—announced that the real culprit behind autism might not

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  • When Separation of Powers Becomes Separation Anxiety

    When Separation of Powers Becomes Separation Anxiety

    The Supreme Court has once again reminded us that the Constitution is less a sacred text and more a choose-your-own-adventure paperback where one ending includes civil liberties and the other ends with Donald Trump auditioning for The Apprentice: Federal Agencies Edition. On September 22, 2025, the Court—in a tidy little 6–3 order—handed President Trump what

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  • From Fever Dreams to Folate: Trump’s Autism Science Fair at the White House

    From Fever Dreams to Folate: Trump’s Autism Science Fair at the White House

    If you thought public health messaging couldn’t get stranger than a president telling people to inject bleach, buckle up. On September 22, 2025, President Donald J. Trump stood at a White House autism event, beaming like a game show host unveiling a mystery prize, with none other than Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. at

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  • The Stadium as Cathedral: Charlie Kirk’s Resurrection Tour

    The Stadium as Cathedral: Charlie Kirk’s Resurrection Tour

    America has never been subtle about grief. We brand it, stream it, and sell t-shirts out of the trunk. But even for a country that once turned the O.J. trial into a daytime soap, what happened inside State Farm Stadium in Glendale was… operatic. Or maybe that’s too generous—let’s call it what it was: a

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  • Cash in Hand, Case Closed: Trump’s Border Czar’s Fifty-Grand Mulligan

    Cash in Hand, Case Closed: Trump’s Border Czar’s Fifty-Grand Mulligan

    There are a lot of ways to bribe a man. Some are delicate—offshore accounts, art loans, consulting contracts that pay for “advisory” work never rendered. Others are cinematic—duffel bags of crisp bills, shady meetings in garages. Then there’s Tom Homan, the White House’s border czar, who apparently prefers the Costco version: fifty thousand dollars in

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  • The President as Prosecutor-in-Chief: A Republic If You Can Keep It

    The President as Prosecutor-in-Chief: A Republic If You Can Keep It

    If you thought American democracy was fragile before, buckle up. On September 20, 2025, President Donald Trump took to his beloved sandbox, Truth Social, and delivered what can only be described as a digital tantrum dressed up as a presidential directive. “JUSTICE MUST BE SERVED, NOW!!!” he thundered, typing like a Red Bull–fueled intern at

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  • When Congress Governs by Split Screen

    When Congress Governs by Split Screen

    Democracy has always been a little theatrical. The marble halls, the pomp, the roll calls delivered like Broadway overtures—it’s part politics, part melodrama, part daytime soap. But lately the Capitol has taken the metaphor too literally. On one screen: a government funding bill collapsing in the Senate. On the other: a resolution sanctifying Charlie Kirk,

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  • The Prosecutor Who Wouldn’t Bend (and the President Who Couldn’t Tolerate It)

    The Prosecutor Who Wouldn’t Bend (and the President Who Couldn’t Tolerate It)

    The American legal system prides itself on independence, impartiality, and the quaint notion that prosecutorial decisions are made in courtrooms, not at golf resorts. But on September 19, 2025, Washington delivered another episode of its long-running tragicomedy: Erik Siebert, interim U.S. attorney for the Eastern District of Virginia, resigned. His crime? Not mortgage fraud, not

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  • America’s H-1B Visa Paywall: $100,000 to Enter, Please Remove Your Shoes

    America’s H-1B Visa Paywall: $100,000 to Enter, Please Remove Your Shoes

    The United States has many traditions: fireworks on the Fourth, pumpkin spice in the fall, and quietly re-engineering its immigration system with the grace of a demolition derby. This week’s entry comes courtesy of President Donald Trump, who signed a proclamation adding a $100,000 fee to accompany—or maybe supplement, or maybe just vaguely menace—every H-1B

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  • Trump’s War on the Press: Now With 97% More Whining

    Trump’s War on the Press: Now With 97% More Whining

    America, pull up a chair, because the President has once again declared war on the one enemy that never invaded him, never stormed his casinos, and never ghosted him on Tinder: the press. Yes, the man who built his political career by calling CNN “fake news” has decided the time has come to escalate from

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