Latest posts
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The Second Term’s the Charm: Trump, DEI, and Other Performance Art Pieces from a Government in Reflux
The Trump administration’s second act has arrived—unseasoned, unfiltered, and flush with the confidence of a man who thinks The Art of the Deal is still in print. What began as a 2016 fever dream has curdled into a 2025 reality show reboot: America’s Next Top Autocrat. Naturally, there’s been some turbulence. The president, emboldened by
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From Voltron Spoilers to Space Cavemen: Comic‑Con 2025 Is Looking Very, Very Loud
Comic‑Con 2025 is in full force, and the annual spectacle reached new levels of cinematic absurdity. If you thought fandom insanity peaked with the return of Rick and Morty, this year’s convention feels like it’s being curated by a hyperactive AI with a nostalgia filter set to “max.” Let’s unpack the highlights—with all the sarcasm
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The $8 Billion Paramount Merger That Proves Late-Stage Capitalism Still Dreams in 4K
Well, pop some popcorn and cancel your originality, folks—because the FCC has just approved the $8 billion Paramount–Skydance merger, and the entertainment-industrial complex just grew another head. Somewhere between “Mission: Impossible 37” and the fourth reboot of Cheers, this landmark media marriage means that all your favorite intellectual properties now belong to a single cinematic
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Top 10 Most Absurd Things That Have Happened So Far in 2025 (And It’s Only July)
Well, it’s official: 2025 has politely asked 2020 to hold its drink and then shoved it down a flight of metaphorical stairs. We’re barely halfway through the year, and already the timeline reads like a rejected Black Mirror writer’s fever dream. From AI scandals to legislative cosplay, here’s your semi-comprehensive list of the ten most
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Ron Klain Testifies That Joe Biden Is Fine, Just Old Enough to Remember When Committees Had Purpose
In a stunning turn of events that shocked no one except maybe a few interns on their first Hill rotation, former White House Chief of Staff Ron Klain appeared before the House Oversight Committee this week to confirm—on the record, under oath, and with only minimal eye twitching—that President Joe Biden is, in fact, still
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I Didn’t Believe in Elon. I Believed in His Grift. And Now My Retirement Is Circling the Drain in a Cybertruck.
Let’s be clear: I didn’t invest in Tesla because I thought Elon Musk was a genius. I invested because I thought he was shameless. Here was a man who could sit in a press conference sounding like a malfunctioning TED Talk chatbot, then turn around and wink at Trump and watch the stock price soar.
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Orange Is the New Accusation: Trump Accuses Obama of Treason, Nation Googles “Definition of Treason”
In today’s episode of “Projecting So Loudly You Can Hear It From Space,” former President Donald J. Trump has reportedly accused former President Barack Obama of treason—you know, that word we all learned in high school civics but never thought would be casually hurled like a dodgeball at the guy who won a Nobel Peace
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Rest Easy, Prince of Darkness: A Farewell to Ozzy Osbourne
I wasn’t a diehard fan. I didn’t memorize lyrics or follow every twist in his tour dates or tattoos. I didn’t grow up with Black Sabbath posters on my walls or devil horns in the air. But when I heard the news—Ozzy Osbourne has passed away—I felt something cave in anyway. That’s what happens when
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Trump Shares AI Mugshots of Obama After Declassified Docs Drop, Nation Wonders If Reality Has Been PARDONED
This week, reality got redacted, deepfaked, and re-released as a partisan reboot. Newly declassified documents—courtesy of Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard, who has apparently pivoted from anti-war progressive to cosplay intelligence officer—suggest that elements of the Obama administration allegedly ‘manufactured’ intelligence to justify the Trump-Russia probe in 2016. The documents are already being hailed
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Netflix Top 10: A Mirror Cracked, a Culture Glitched, a Cry for Help in Algorithm Form
We did it, America. We survived another month of economic collapse, heat domes, and political indictments—just in time to collapse face-first into our shared national coping strategy: passive entertainment that slowly drains the soul. Welcome to the Netflix Top 10, where taste goes to be auto-suggested and sanity is drip-fed in 8-episode chunks. At #1