Latest posts
-
The Chains That Bind Us: A Love Letter to America’s Most Hated On Restaurants
It’s fashionable in 2025 to sneer at the chain restaurant. The discourse demands that we all pretend our palates are calibrated exclusively for chef-driven farm-to-table concepts where someone in a denim apron insists the kale was “foraged.” To admit you still eat at Olive Garden is like confessing you still burn CDs or own a
-
Prestige TV, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Firehose
By 2025, prestige television no longer means anything. It’s like calling water wet, or calling Marvel “cinema” just to rile up Scorsese. Prestige used to be rarefied air—The Sopranos, The Wire, Mad Men. Now it’s practically background radiation, humming behind every streaming app. Prestige has metastasized. Every show arrives pre-packaged as “prestige,” the way cereal
-
Cardi B v. The Courtroom: When Justice Goes Viral
By the summer of 2025, America had already transformed nearly every human institution into content. Elections are Twitch streams. Presidential debates are meme generators. Even funerals trend if the right celebrity posts a photo. It was only a matter of time before the courtroom—long a solemn stage for justice—was converted into a live-action reality show.
-
Big Brother, Small Man: The Rylie Jeffries Eviction Tour
When Rylie Jeffries was evicted from Big Brother Season 27, he didn’t walk out of the house so much as stumble into a reality that had been waiting to eat him alive. On the inside, he was the cowboy-hat-wearing bull rider with a showmance and a storyline. On the outside, he was suddenly the subject
-
The Ten Commandments of Horror TV: A Bloody, Bingeable Bible
The history of horror television is a cemetery of failed pilots and half-rotted seasons, a graveyard where shows are buried alive by executives only to claw their way out later as streaming “discoveries.” For every cult resurrection, there are dozens of forgotten corpses—remember Harper’s Island? Exactly. Yet from this restless afterlife, ten shows have not
-
“Law and Order” or Martial Theater? Trump’s Crime Emergency in D.C.
On August 11, 2025, Donald J. Trump declared a “crime emergency” in Washington, D.C., and like every pageant he has ever hosted, it was less about substance than spectacle. With the flourish of a reality TV host in his twilight season, he seized control of the Metropolitan Police Department, flooded the streets with National Guard
-
FEMA’s Katrina Declaration: When Disaster Response Becomes Highest National Performance Art
On August 26, 2025, something seismic occurred—not an earthquake, not a storm, but a different kind of tremor. Over 180 current and former FEMA employees—many anonymous—signed an Open Katrina Declaration, warning Congress and the FEMA Review Council that the Trump administration is unravelling decades of post-Katrina reforms. It wasn’t just a letter; it was a
-
Trump vs. Seth Meyers: Late Night, Last Nerve
The 2 a.m. Truth Social Serenade On August 27, 2025, Donald Trump—our forever midnight bard—logged onto Truth Social at the ungodly hour of 2 a.m. to fight the real battle of our times: Seth Meyers’ job security. Forget Ukraine, forget inflation, forget that the Colorado River is turning into a trickle—the real crisis is NBC
-
Trump’s Chicago Dream: Send in the Troops, Forget the Math
The problem with promising to “crack down on crime” is that crime refuses to follow your campaign calendar. It does not politely spike in the zip codes you need for next week’s rally. It rarely consults your polling numbers before deciding whether to trend upward or downward. Yet here comes Donald Trump, fresh off his
-
Prosecuting the Flame: Trump’s Executive Order on Flag Burning
On August 25, 2025, President Donald Trump signed a document so melodramatically titled it could double as a Netflix limited series: “Prosecuting Burning of the American Flag.” The executive order doesn’t criminalize flag burning outright—because the Supreme Court told America to chill about that back in 1989. But it does something more Trumpian: it takes