Latest posts
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Apple’s Next Ten Things: Because Owning Your Soul Once Wasn’t Enough
The Launch Avalanche No One Asked For Apple has lined up ten more products for release in the coming cycle. Ten. Because apparently, the cure for market stagnation isn’t innovation—it’s attrition. If one shiny rectangle doesn’t hypnotize you, surely ten will. The list reads like a fever dream of incrementalism: a faster Apple TV, a
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The Emmys Crown Their New Royalty: Streamers, Sad Billionaires, and Seth Rogen
Award shows love to pretend they’re about art, but the Emmys have always been about bragging rights. Who owns the zeitgeist? Who commands the hashtags? Who can throw the longest acceptance speech while orchestra violins nervously twitch in the pit? And this year, the 77th Primetime Emmys gave us the answer in flashing lights: streaming
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My Predictions for the 77th Primetime Emmys
Every year, the Emmys give us an opportunity to reflect not just on the television that entertained us, but the television that defined the cultural conversation. Some shows break through because they’re technically brilliant. Others linger because they captured a mood or gave us characters we couldn’t stop talking about. This year, the ballots feel
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SNL Says Goodbye to Ego Nwodim and Hello to the Eternal Lorne Michaels Hunger Games
Seven Years, One Exit Post, and a Cast in Perpetual Revolt Ego Nwodim did what every modern celebrity does when it’s time to move on: she opened Instagram, wrote “unforgettable” in italics, and announced she was leaving Saturday Night Live after seven seasons. Seven years of wigs, cue cards, and sketches that hit about as
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Big Little Lies Season 3: HBO’s Attempt at Resurrection Theater
The Prestige Necromancy Business HBO just announced what Hollywood does best: recycling. Big Little Lies—the Monterey mommy noir that gave us Nicole Kidman in silk blouses whisper-screaming about trauma and Reese Witherspoon perfecting the art of weaponized brunch—is being resurrected for a third season. Francesca Sloane, fresh off Mr. & Mrs. Smith, is tasked with
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The EU Declares Independence (From Us, Mostly)
Ursula von der Leyen, President of the European Commission and owner of Europe’s most determinedly practical haircut, took the stage in Strasbourg on September 10 to deliver her State of the Union. And let me tell you, it was not the milquetoast Euro-babble of years past. Instead, von der Leyen announced what she called Europe’s
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Paramount Skydance Wants to Eat Warner Bros. Discovery for Breakfast
Cue the Mergers and the Popcorn America loves a sequel, even when it’s corporate consolidation. This September, barely a month after Paramount Skydance finalized its $8.4 billion deal to absorb Paramount Global, the trades are abuzz with whispers: now they want Warner Bros. Discovery. Yes, the company that just finished moving its things into Paramount’s
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The Week America Became Judge, Jury, and Caribbean Executioner
September began with a bang—and 11 bodies floating in the southern Caribbean. President Donald Trump, in a tone that straddled triumph and reality TV cliffhanger, announced that the U.S. military had “destroyed” a Venezuelan vessel, killing alleged members of Tren de Aragua. Alleged being the operative word. Alleged as in “we’ll circle back with details
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A Single Round, A Million Excuses: A Cultural Critique of the Assassination of Charlie Kirk
Let us convene, grim-eyed, on the manicured quads of Utah Valley University, where normalcy shattered into shards of ideological glass in a single, solitary moment: the death of a political firebrand, felled supposedly by a single bullet from a nearby building. That bullet—cold, precise, unembellished by flourish or bombast—reduces weeks, perhaps years, of incendiary rhetoric
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One Day, Three Flexes: The Roberts Hold, Midway Blitz, and the Birthday Book That Wouldn’t Die
The news cycle didn’t just turn over. It did somersaults, pirouettes, and then flopped onto the couch clutching its side. By breakfast, Chief Justice John Roberts had played human sandbag for Donald Trump’s freeze on nearly $5 billion in foreign aid. By lunch, Chicago was choking on “Operation Midway Blitz” immigration raids, a branding exercise