Latest posts

  • FEMA’s Katrina Declaration: When Disaster Response Becomes Highest National Performance Art

    FEMA’s Katrina Declaration: When Disaster Response Becomes Highest National Performance Art

    On August 26, 2025, something seismic occurred—not an earthquake, not a storm, but a different kind of tremor. Over 180 current and former FEMA employees—many anonymous—signed an Open Katrina Declaration, warning Congress and the FEMA Review Council that the Trump administration is unravelling decades of post-Katrina reforms. It wasn’t just a letter; it was a…

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  • Trump vs. Seth Meyers: Late Night, Last Nerve

    Trump vs. Seth Meyers: Late Night, Last Nerve

    The 2 a.m. Truth Social Serenade On August 27, 2025, Donald Trump—our forever midnight bard—logged onto Truth Social at the ungodly hour of 2 a.m. to fight the real battle of our times: Seth Meyers’ job security. Forget Ukraine, forget inflation, forget that the Colorado River is turning into a trickle—the real crisis is NBC…

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  • Trump’s Chicago Dream: Send in the Troops, Forget the Math

    Trump’s Chicago Dream: Send in the Troops, Forget the Math

    The problem with promising to “crack down on crime” is that crime refuses to follow your campaign calendar. It does not politely spike in the zip codes you need for next week’s rally. It rarely consults your polling numbers before deciding whether to trend upward or downward. Yet here comes Donald Trump, fresh off his…

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  • Prosecuting the Flame: Trump’s Executive Order on Flag Burning

    Prosecuting the Flame: Trump’s Executive Order on Flag Burning

    On August 25, 2025, President Donald Trump signed a document so melodramatically titled it could double as a Netflix limited series: “Prosecuting Burning of the American Flag.” The executive order doesn’t criminalize flag burning outright—because the Supreme Court told America to chill about that back in 1989. But it does something more Trumpian: it takes…

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  • Not Perfect, Just Us: A 10-Month Love Story

    Not Perfect, Just Us: A 10-Month Love Story

    Dear Matthew, On the eve of ten months, I’m putting it all in writing, because love deserves a record—even the messy parts, even the parts where I am not the hero of the scene. I know it’s “just” a month-iversary. I know it’s supposed to be silly. But if I’m honest, I’d celebrate every Tuesday…

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  • The Mustache Raid: John Bolton and the FBI’s Newest Political Opera

    The Mustache Raid: John Bolton and the FBI’s Newest Political Opera

    On August 22, 2025, FBI agents descended on John Bolton’s Bethesda home and his Washington, D.C., office. They carted off boxes while Montgomery County police stood by, politely blocking the cul-de-sac like it was the Macy’s Day Parade for subpoenas. The stated reason: investigating whether Bolton illegally possessed or shared classified information. The unstated reason:…

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  • Big Brother’s Mic Scandal: When Whispering Becomes a Weapon and Auto-eviction Is Murder

    Big Brother’s Mic Scandal: When Whispering Becomes a Weapon and Auto-eviction Is Murder

    Welcome to Big Brother 27, where the usual surveillance theatre has escalated from “You’re not safe anywhere” to “Your mic is a weapon.” On August 21, TV Insider brought us the spicy reveal: Lauren Domingue was caught in the storage room whispering into Vince’s ear, while conspicuously camouflaging her mic with her hand and posture.…

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  • Redemption Auditions & Bureaucracies of Mercy: Erik Menendez’s Parole Denial in 2025

    Redemption Auditions & Bureaucracies of Mercy: Erik Menendez’s Parole Denial in 2025

    Imagine a system where forgiveness isn’t a simple word but a heavily produced gala—complete with judges, cameras, moral gymnastics, and a giant question mark hovering over your head, blinking like a faulty neon sign. That’s the world of modern parole hearings, and on August 21, 2025, Erik Menendez starred in the latest episode of America’s…

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  • Hurricane Erin: America’s Latest Reality Show, Now Streaming Live from the Atlantic

    Hurricane Erin: America’s Latest Reality Show, Now Streaming Live from the Atlantic

    It’s August 2025, and Hurricane Erin—currently whirling itself into a Category 2 diva act about 200 miles off the North Carolina coast—is serving as yet another reminder that America’s infrastructure is mostly just plywood, wishful thinking, and a governor’s press conference stapled to a sandbag. Erin, once a strapping Category 5 beast, has now “weakened”…

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  • Sneak Peek: The First Chapter of Sleeping Fairy

    Sneak Peek: The First Chapter of Sleeping Fairy

    Back in 2018, I drafted a retelling of Sleeping Beauty that was never really about castles or curses. It was about MySpace. It was about being twenty-one in the early 2000s—when dial-up whined through your bedroom wall, when your whole life could be demolished in a single public post, when “delete” wasn’t an option because…

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