Latest posts
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A Capital Relocation Program: Now With Extra Federal Flair
The nation’s capital has always been a theater for spectacle—power lunches, political scandal, and monuments that double as photo ops for eighth-graders on field trips. But this week, President Trump decided the city’s most enduring monument—its unhoused population—was not photogenic enough for the coming election season. In an announcement delivered with the kind of theatrical
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Mickey Mouse Buys the World: A Love Letter to Disney’s Hostile Embrace
Some people collect stamps. Some people collect vinyl. Disney? They collect entire cultural ecosystems, slot them into a vault, slap a mouse-shaped watermark on the front, and charge you $14.99 a month to visit your own memories. When the history of modern capitalism is written, there will be a whole chapter titled The Seven Deadly
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Ken Paxton vs. The Great Texas Hide-and-Seek Championships
Some states have political disagreements. Others have lawsuits. Texas, however, prefers its disputes served with an extra-large glass of iced tea, a dash of high drama, and a courtroom appearance that smells faintly of barbecue smoke and contempt of decorum. The latest entry into this Lone Star political rodeo? Attorney General Ken Paxton’s lawsuit to
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When the Bear Meets the Eagle in a Walmart Parking Lot: Trump, Putin, and the Art of the Ceasefire
On August 15th, President Trump will meet Vladimir Putin in the most geopolitically neutral ground imaginable: Alaska. Not Geneva, not Vienna—Alaska. A location that says, “We could’ve done this at the G7, but we were both craving a halibut sandwich.”
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From the ER to Elder Care: How My Career Inspired Sunset on Cloud Nine
Read Sunset on Cloud Nine here | Visit my Amazon Author Page Before I ever wrote Sunset on Cloud Nine, I lived it. I started my nursing career in the chaos of the Emergency Room — the kind of place where “normal” means treating a gunshot victim while a drunk guy in the next bay
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I Kissed a Boy, Then Questioned Everything: A Monogamous Gay’s Guide to Reality TV, Respectability, and the Right to Be a Slut
Matthew and I started watching I Kissed A Boy the other night. That’s the sentence. That’s the scandal. The gays finally got their own dating show, and we were ready to indulge—rosé in hand, eyes narrowed, snacks half-forgotten. The premise? Twelve single gay men are paired based on “compatibility,” shipped to a sun-drenched Italian villa,
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To the Moon, With Malice: Sean Duffy, Space Nukes, and the Bold American Tradition of Saying “Oops” in Orbit
Because nothing says “we’ve got this under control” like a man best known for The Real World: Boston now overseeing the launch of a nuclear reactor on the moon, Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy—yes, that Sean Duffy—is expected to announce new directives to fast-track lunar radiation and orbital real estate development in what experts are calling
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My Birthday Curse Is Back, and This Time It Brought Reinforcements
Tomorrow, I turn forty-one. Which means, statistically, something will either break, catch fire, go missing, bleed, ghost me, explode, or die. No need to sugarcoat it. The birthday curse is real. I don’t care if you’re religious, spiritual, or just one of those people who puts rose quartz in their bra and calls it healing.
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The Blonde Upstairs Is Gone: On Loni Anderson, Loss, and the Women Who Knew the Assignment
Somewhere in America, a bottle-blonde receptionist in a sleeveless satin blouse just took a long drag off her Virginia Slim and said, “Well, shit.” Then she turned off the office lights and walked herself gently into the dusk. Loni Anderson died yesterday. Seventy-nine. A “prolonged illness,” her publicist confirmed, as though time itself weren’t already
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From Bench to Bar Fight: Jeanine Pirro Confirmed as U.S. Attorney for D.C., Chaos Ensues
Well, it finally happened. After years of performative shouting, a few too many box wines, and one very persistent eye twitch that could double as a metronome for national decline, Jeanine Pirro has officially been confirmed by the United States Senate as the new U.S. Attorney for the District of Columbia. That’s right—our nation’s capital’s