Latest posts

  • The Man of Steal: White House Declares Trump Superman in Latest Tweet

    The Man of Steal: White House Declares Trump Superman in Latest Tweet

    In a move that confirms we are living in the world’s most expensive community theater production, the White House has officially tweeted a photo of Donald Trump dressed as Superman—yes, that Superman—with the caption:“THE SYMBOL OF HOPE. TRUTH. JUSTICE. THE AMERICAN WAY. SUPERMAN TRUMP.” Somewhere in a Kansas cornfield, Clark Kent just facepalmed so hard

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  • Trump Surprised African Leader Speaks English—In Country Where English Is the National Language

    Trump Surprised African Leader Speaks English—In Country Where English Is the National Language

    Geography was never his strong suit. Neither was diplomacy. During a formal White House luncheon meant to honor African partnership and unity, President Donald Trump stunned absolutely no one by stunning everyone—again. While greeting Liberian President Joseph Boakai, Trump reportedly leaned in, nodded sagely, and said:“You speak English very well—where did you learn it?” The

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  • NASA: Now Appointing Sean Duffy Astronauts

    NASA: Now Appointing Sean Duffy Astronauts

    Well, buckle up Earthlings—because America’s favorite space agency is about to blast off in an entirely different direction. No, not toward Mars. Not toward the Moon. Not even toward basic logic. This week, over 2,000 senior NASA employees have been handed pink slips as part of President Trump’s bold new initiative to “trim the federal

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  • “Are You Still Talking About Epstein?” Trump Is—Sort Of. Just Not the Way You’d Think.

    “Are You Still Talking About Epstein?” Trump Is—Sort Of. Just Not the Way You’d Think.

    During a recent media appearance that felt more like a family intervention than a press conference, Donald Trump was asked what many consider to be a very straightforward question: “Mr. Trump, what’s your connection to Jeffrey Epstein?” His answer? A deflective masterclass in redirection: “Are you still talking about Epstein? This guy has been talked

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  • Epstein, Trump, and Musk Walk Into a Jail Cell: One Minute Missing, Infinite Questions

    Epstein, Trump, and Musk Walk Into a Jail Cell: One Minute Missing, Infinite Questions

    In the latest episode of America’s Favorite Unsolved Government Mystery, a single missing minute from Jeffrey Epstein’s jailhouse surveillance footage has sparked a political firestorm, conspiracy-theory bonanza, and a fresh round of popcorn sales across the country. That’s right—just one minute, allegedly “lost” during a routine system reset, has become the most important 60 seconds

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  • Supreme Court to Federal Workers: You’re Fired—Respectfully, Constitutionally

    Supreme Court to Federal Workers: You’re Fired—Respectfully, Constitutionally

    SCOTUS greenlights Trump’s plan to trim the government like it’s a reality show cast In a decision that stunned labor experts and delighted men who scream “drain the swamp” into their Bluetooth headsets, the U.S. Supreme Court voted 8–1 to overturn a previous injunction blocking Donald Trump’s mass federal layoffs plan—clearing the runway for the

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  • The Spy Who Subpoenaed Me: Brennan & Comey’s Deep State Tango

    The Spy Who Subpoenaed Me: Brennan & Comey’s Deep State Tango

    Meanwhile, the Epstein security system took a lunch break… permanently. In the latest episode of America’s favorite political telenovela, the FBI has apparently decided to play a high-stakes game of Uno in reverse—by investigating former FBI Director James Comey and former CIA Director John Brennan over their roles in the Trump-Russia investigation. Yes, you read

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  • Make Peace Great Again: Trump Nominated for Nobel, World Nods Politely

    Make Peace Great Again: Trump Nominated for Nobel, World Nods Politely

    In a plot twist that reads like satire but somehow isn’t, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has officially nominated Donald J. Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize, citing his “tremendous, absolutely tremendous work” brokering the Abraham Accords. Trump reportedly accepted the nomination with humility, saying only: “Of course I deserve it. I’ve brought more peace

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  • Trump Clears the Clintons: The Case of the Missing Epstein List

    Trump Clears the Clintons: The Case of the Missing Epstein List

    In a shocking twist, Donald J. Trump becomes the hero of a conspiracy theory he helped create So let me get this straight—after years of “Just wait till the Epstein client list drops” hype, the Department of Justice has now confirmed that no such list exists.Not sealed. Not redacted.Not. A. Thing. And based on this

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  • Courts to Trump: You Can’t Spell ‘Healthcare’ Without ‘Care’”

    Courts to Trump: You Can’t Spell ‘Healthcare’ Without ‘Care'”

    In a surprising twist that briefly restored Americans’ ability to exhale through both nostrils, a federal judge has halted the portion of Trump’s “Big Beautiful Bill” that aimed to defund Planned Parenthood, citing minor technicalities like the Constitution and reality. The move comes after weeks of confusion in which lawmakers insisted the bill would protect

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