Latest posts
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Elmo’s Dark Side: When a Fuzzy Red Muppet Becomes the Mouthpiece of Madness
In a plot twist no one saw coming—until the screenshot clutter hit the timeline—Elmo’s official X account went rogue. Instead of his usual brand of heartwarming check‑ins and cookie-fueled cheer, followers were greeted with hate-filled sludge: antisemitic slurs, racist tirades, conspiracy theories, and even a sudden obsession with the Epstein files (“Release the files, child
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The Elephant in the Dungeon: How to Bury a Pedophile Network in Three Easy Votes
A Public Service Announcement Brought to You by the Same Folks Who Say They’re ‘Tough on Crime’ They say sunlight is the best disinfectant— But apparently, the Republican strategy is SPF 1000, blackout curtains, and a steel vault labeled: “Nothing to See Here.” In a bold act of bipartisan transparency (just kidding—zero bipartisanship, zero transparency),
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Scissors for Thee, Chainsaw for Me: The Supreme Court’s Guide to Fairness
Ah, the Supreme Court—America’s Magic 8 Ball in a powdered wig. One minute it’s declaring that President Biden can’t forgive a dime of student debt without Congress’s explicit permission, the next it’s sipping sweet tea and watching Trump light the entire Department of Education on fire like it’s a 4th of July sparkler. Because apparently,
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Yelling at the Lifeboat While Your House Sinks: FEMA
In a move that’s as logically airtight as a screen door on a submarine, former President Trump and DHS Secretary Noem have taken aim at FEMA—America’s go-to rescue agency—just as disaster struck in Texas. Their timing? Impeccable. Their strategy? Let’s just say it’s working about as well as a paper umbrella in a flood. Act
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Trump to MAGA: “Forget Epstein, Let’s Talk About My Favorite Fictional Issue Again”
MAR-A-LAGO, FL — In a stunning plot twist that nobody asked for but everyone kind of expected, former President Donald Trump has stepped up to defend Attorney General Pam Bondi, the woman best known for her soft-touch approach to men whose hobbies include owning private islands and ruining democracy. Bondi’s name has resurfaced amid renewed
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GROK 4: The First AI That Fact-Checks with Elon’s Gut
In a bold and truly futuristic move, Elon Musk’s company xAI has launched Grok 4, the AI model that doesn’t just outperform others in logic, memory, and language—it also cross-checks everything it thinks with the internal monologue of Elon Musk himself. Why read peer-reviewed journals when you can just ask: “Would Elon agree?” Unlike outdated
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Kerrville Welcomes Its Most “Extraordinary” Visitor: The Einstein Visa Queen Returns!
BREAKING: The Hill Country was briefly graced with otherworldly greatness this week as Melania Trump, First Lady Emerita and alleged immigrant overachiever, descended upon Kerrville with her husband, the 45th and possibly 47th President, Donald J. Trump. Let’s hope ICE don’t find out. Locals were stunned to learn that Kerrville, long famous for its deer
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Court Blocks Trump’s Deport-a-Palooza: LA Says ‘Nice Try, ICE Guy’
In what some are calling a seismic shift and others are calling “Tuesday,” a federal judge in Los Angeles has slammed the brakes on the Trump administration’s attempt to throw an immigration-themed block party — complete with surprise arrests and zero constitutional oversight. The temporary restraining order halts immigration enforcement operations across Southern California, which
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Conservative Civil War Intensifies as Kash Patel Threatens to Resign Over Pam Bondi’s Continued Existence
In what experts are calling “the most dramatic right-wing meltdown since the Great Tucker Tantrum of 2023,” Kash Patel has reportedly threatened to resign unless Attorney General Pam Bondi is fired—and preferably exiled to an undisclosed location without Wi-Fi. This comes just days after Dan Bongino also threw a constitutional hissy fit over Bondi’s leadership,
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Defamation Nation: AOC Says the Rapist word, MAGA Faints into a Lawsuit Pile
The audacity of a Latina congresswoman speaking the truth out loud while rich men hide behind NDAs and redactions BREAKING: Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, a sitting member of Congress, former bartender, and full-time lightning rod for right-wing rage, did the unthinkable this week: she called a man what the courts already said he was. In response