Latest posts
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Forecast: 100% Chance of Deletion – The Trump Archive Fire Sale
Once upon a timeline glitch, somewhere between the invention of Aqua Net and the third indictment, the Trump administration decided the best way to tackle climate change was… to pretend it didn’t exist. And by “tackle,” we mean delete, obscure, and casually yeet any congressionally mandated climate report off government websites like a shady teen
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Colbert’s Curtain Call: When the Laugh Track Gets Subpoenaed
Let’s get one thing straight: in 2025 America, free speech isn’t dead—it’s just nervously checking its follower count while Homeland Security reviews its late-night monologue. This week, CBS announced the “scheduling discontinuation” of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, a decision about as subtle as a Fox News chyron at a drag brunch. While the
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Epstein, Bondi & the Rot at the Top: Corruption’s New Influencer Era
You ever notice how political corruption is starting to feel like the worst group chat you can’t leave? Same three people. Same scandals. Same “accidental” flights on Epstein’s plane. But now with better lighting. Enter: Pam Bondi, former Florida Attorney General and recent cameo in the Epstein Files as exposed by PBS. If you’re thinking,
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Trump’s Legs Are Tired. America is Too.
In news that will shock absolutely no one who’s seen a senior citizen in a golf cart wearing three layers of bronzer and rage, Donald Trump has been diagnosed with chronic venous insufficiency (CVI)—which, to the medically uninitiated, translates roughly to: his veins are tired of the bullshit too.
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Tulsi Gabbard Declassifies Her Way Into MAGA Hearts—Thanks, Obama.
Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard has graciously bestowed upon the American people what she describes as “overwhelming evidence” that the Obama administration manipulated intelligence to make it look like Russia interfered in the 2016 election. Because when you think “neutral arbiter of truth,” you naturally think “Tulsi Gabbard with QAnon lighting and a ceremonial
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They Ignored It All About Trump—Until Epstein: MAGA’s Sudden Crisis of Conscience
Every few months, we find ourselves trapped in a collective Groundhog Day where some damning new headline about Donald J. Trump emerges and the internet spins up like this is the thing—the final nail, the last straw, the moment when MAGA voters will blink, swallow, and whisper, “Oh no… we backed the wrong fascist.” This
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Second Term, Second Verse: Dumber, Meaner, Somehow More Orange
Let’s begin this enchanted retread with a little déjà vu: Donald J. Trump, once again sitting in the Oval Office—this time without even pretending to read the Constitution. It’s not a reboot, friends. It’s a bloated sequel nobody asked for, written by Facebook uncles and powered by supply chain rage, Bud Light boycotts, and the
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You Don’t Fire the Epstein Prosecutor Unless You’ve Got Something to Hide, Right?
File this under: If I Did It: Executive Branch Edition. This week, the Trump camp finally took off the gloves and put on the red hat to fire Maurene Comey—you know, the federal prosecutor who helped put Ghislaine Maxwell behind bars and was knee-deep in the Epstein case before it mysteriously got quieter than a
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Colbert’s Exit Strategy: CBS Cancels ‘The Late Show’ (But Totally for Financial Reasons, Of Course)
CBS has announced that The Late Show with Stephen Colbert will end after its next season in May 2026, citing—what else?—“financial considerations.” The network didn’t elaborate much, but rest assured, it has absolutely nothing to do with Colbert’s recent on-air jabs at CBS’s parent company, Paramount Global, for quietly settling a $16 million lawsuit with
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Make Coca-Cola Sweet Again: Trump Claims Victory Over Corn Syrup
In a groundbreaking act of nutritional diplomacy, former President Donald J. Trump took to social media this week to announce that Coca-Cola—yes, the same company that once snubbed him by allegedly removing Diet Coke from the White House—has finally bent the knee. According to Trump, the soda giant has agreed to replace high-fructose corn syrup