Latest posts
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America Redefines “Public Benefits” to Mean “Not for You” — Immigration Policy Just Got a Rebrand
This week, the U.S. government took a long, squinting look at the phrase “public benefits” and said, “What if… we didn’t?” In a move so bureaucratically cruel it could’ve been dreamed up by a focus group trapped in a DMV at gunpoint, the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) has officially expanded the definition
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Trump Shares AI Mugshots of Obama After Declassified Docs Drop, Nation Wonders If Reality Has Been PARDONED
This week, reality got redacted, deepfaked, and re-released as a partisan reboot. Newly declassified documents—courtesy of Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard, who has apparently pivoted from anti-war progressive to cosplay intelligence officer—suggest that elements of the Obama administration allegedly ‘manufactured’ intelligence to justify the Trump-Russia probe in 2016. The documents are already being hailed
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Coincidence Is Classified: MLK Files Released Just as Epstein Heat Rises
After 56 years, countless Freedom of Information requests, and one too many performances of Lift Every Voice and Sing by institutions that once tried to wiretap his grief, the federal government has finally—finally—released the MLK assassination files. Well. Sort of. They’ve been “released” in the way your emotionally unavailable ex “opens up” during arguments: technically,
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The Curious Case of Convenient Amnesia: A Political Drama in Three Acts (and Several Subpoenas)
There are certain phrases that set off alarm bells in the American psyche: “new variant,” “Taylor Swift drops surprise album,” and of course, “bipartisan interest in the Jeffrey Epstein case.” That last one? That’s our national Bat-Signal for someone’s sweating in a congressional back room while texting their lawyer in Morse code. Because nothing unites
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Unpacking the “One Big Beautiful Bill”: How Congress Plans to Save You (and By You, We Mean Billionaires)
Ah, the smell of freshly printed legislation. Notes of performative optimism, charred loopholes, and a faint aftertaste of lobbyist cologne. Congress has emerged from its biannual nap to deliver what they’re calling the “One Big Beautiful Bill”—a tax and spending package so shiny, so sweeping, it’s practically Botox for the economy. But like most things
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Beyond the Headline: Unpacking the Gaza Conflict’s Long-Term Impacts
A deeper look into the long tail of trauma, bureaucracy, and selective compassion Somewhere between your third scroll past an Instagram infographic and the seventh “breaking news” chyron that wasn’t, Gaza kept happening. And while the rest of the world moved on to Taylor Swift ticket drama and the return of pumpkin spice fascism, a
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Forecast: 100% Chance of Deletion – The Trump Archive Fire Sale
Once upon a timeline glitch, somewhere between the invention of Aqua Net and the third indictment, the Trump administration decided the best way to tackle climate change was… to pretend it didn’t exist. And by “tackle,” we mean delete, obscure, and casually yeet any congressionally mandated climate report off government websites like a shady teen
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Colbert’s Curtain Call: When the Laugh Track Gets Subpoenaed
Let’s get one thing straight: in 2025 America, free speech isn’t dead—it’s just nervously checking its follower count while Homeland Security reviews its late-night monologue. This week, CBS announced the “scheduling discontinuation” of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, a decision about as subtle as a Fox News chyron at a drag brunch. While the
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Epstein, Bondi & the Rot at the Top: Corruption’s New Influencer Era
You ever notice how political corruption is starting to feel like the worst group chat you can’t leave? Same three people. Same scandals. Same “accidental” flights on Epstein’s plane. But now with better lighting. Enter: Pam Bondi, former Florida Attorney General and recent cameo in the Epstein Files as exposed by PBS. If you’re thinking,
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Trump’s Legs Are Tired. America is Too.
In news that will shock absolutely no one who’s seen a senior citizen in a golf cart wearing three layers of bronzer and rage, Donald Trump has been diagnosed with chronic venous insufficiency (CVI)—which, to the medically uninitiated, translates roughly to: his veins are tired of the bullshit too.