Latest posts

  • The Divorce of the Century: Marjorie Taylor Greene Leaves the Cult

    The Divorce of the Century: Marjorie Taylor Greene Leaves the Cult

    When the most loyal soldier in the MAGA army decides to go AWOL, it isn’t a political pivot; it is a primal scream from inside the house. The marriage between Donald Trump and Marjorie Taylor Greene was never going to end with a quiet mediation and a shared custody agreement for the base. It was

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  • The Bulwark Wants to Build a Bigger Ship, But We Are Already Underwater

    The Bulwark Wants to Build a Bigger Ship, But We Are Already Underwater

    When the sensible conservatives start sounding like doomsday preppers, it is time to check the expiration date on the canned goods. There is a specific frequency of alarm that only emits from the offices of The Bulwark. It is not the shrill, glass-shattering panic of liberal Twitter, nor is it the guttural, blood-and-soil roar of

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  • Drunk Pete’s Reagan Forum Was a Wake for the World Order

    Drunk Pete’s Reagan Forum Was a Wake for the World Order

    The Secretary of Defense just told the ghost of the Gipper that the new American strategy is “Get Off My Lawn.” In the hallowed halls of the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library, where the ghost of the Gipper usually presides over speeches about tearing down walls and shining cities on hills, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth decided

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  • Comey: The DOJ Just Got Locked Out of Its Own Evidence Locker

    Comey: The DOJ Just Got Locked Out of Its Own Evidence Locker

    When you raid a lawyer’s iCloud without reading the Fourth Amendment first, you end up with a restraining order and a very embarrassing weekend. It is a rare and beautiful thing to watch the Department of Justice trip over its own shoelaces in slow motion. Usually, the DOJ is the juggernaut, the unmovable object that

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  • The Constitution Stops at the Water’s Edge: Why We Drone Strike Boat Captains but Pardon Kings

    The Constitution Stops at the Water’s Edge: Why We Drone Strike Boat Captains but Pardon Kings

    When the penalty for smuggling is a Hellfire missile, we have not won the War on Drugs; we have simply decided to stop taking prisoners. The American legal system is famously obsessed with procedure. We have entire libraries filled with books about the rights of the accused, the rules of evidence, and the precise geometric

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  • The Ghost of Competence Past: Joe Biden Accepts an Award While the World Burns

    The Ghost of Competence Past: Joe Biden Accepts an Award While the World Burns

    In a hotel ballroom in Washington, a decent man tried to remind us that the government wasn’t always a weapon, while the press corps frantically zoomed in to see if he blinked too slowly. On December 5, 2025, the timeline offered us a split-screen moment so jarring it felt like a glitch in the simulation.

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  • The Pipe Bomber Was Never a Ghost. He Was Just a Guy With a Rewards Card.

    The Pipe Bomber Was Never a Ghost. He Was Just a Guy With a Rewards Card.

    After five years of conspiracy theories about fed-surrectionists and secret operatives, the grand mystery resolves into a Nissan Sentra and a bag of galvanized pipe. We have spent nearly five years living inside a collective fever dream regarding the events of January 5 and 6, 2021. In the absence of an arrest, the “J6 Pipe

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  • DOJ To Release Grand Jury Epstein Information, Supposedly

    DOJ To Release Grand Jury Epstein Information, Supposedly

    On December 19, the United States government will attempt a new experiment: telling the truth about how it let a monster run a catering service for predators. There is a specific kind of silence that descends upon a room when the lights are suddenly turned on at a party that has gone on far too

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  • The United States of Paranoia: When the National Security Strategy Reads Like a Reddit Thread

    The United States of Paranoia: When the National Security Strategy Reads Like a Reddit Thread

    The new official policy of the United States is apparently that France is too dark, Russia is just misunderstood, and the Western Hemisphere is a gated community that needs a higher fence. There is a specific kind of document that usually emerges from the White House every few years called the National Security Strategy. Historically,

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  • The Supreme Court Is About to Decide if the Constitution Has a “No Vacancy” Sign

    The Supreme Court Is About to Decide if the Constitution Has a “No Vacancy” Sign

    The Fourteenth Amendment is clear, unless you are a lawyer paid to pretend that “born in the United States” is a metaphor for “born in a country club with the right membership dues.” We have reached the point in the American experiment where the user agreement is being rewritten in real time, and the terms

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