Latest posts
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The Party of Free Speech Wants a Muzzle—As Long as It’s for You
Ah, yes. The brave defenders of free speech. The warriors against cancel culture. The self-styled martyrs of the “say what you want, snowflake” movement. They’ve spent years assuring us that America needs to be a safe space—for their offensive jokes, for their racist uncle’s Facebook rants, for their senator’s homophobic tweets typed at 3 a.m.…
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JD Vance Turns Charlie Kirk’s Memorial Into a Campaign Rally With Tax Audits
When Mourning Means Monetizing Charlie Kirk was assassinated at Utah Valley University. That’s the fact. It happened. A 33-hour manhunt followed. Police arrested 22-year-old Tyler Robinson. The motive remains under investigation. This should have been the moment for solemnity. Reflection. A funeral, not a fundraiser. Instead, the White House turned it into programming content. Vice…
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Brian Kilmeade and the “Just Kill ’Em” Doctrine: Fox News Accidentally Says the Quiet Part Louder
If satire is dead, Brian Kilmeade personally strangled it on live television when he suggested, with all the seriousness of a man discussing football stats, that unhoused people with mental illness should receive “involuntary lethal injections.” His actual phrasing—“just kill ’em”—landed with the thud of a guillotine blade hitting the stage floor of Fox &…
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The Charlie Kirk Narrative Smells Like Yesterday’s Fox News Leftovers
Not a Conspiracy Theorist, Just a Smell Test Enthusiast I don’t wear tin foil hats. I don’t subscribe to newsletters about the Denver Airport being a Masonic portal to lizard people. I am not a conspiracy theorist. I follow the facts wherever they lead, even if they lead me to deeply inconvenient places like “Charlie…
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The Eternal Gravity of Shit: Why Hierarchy Is Humanity’s Favorite Hobby
We like to tell ourselves that human beings are noble, empathetic creatures. We write novels about kindness, sing songs about love, build religions around compassion. But spend thirty seconds in line at Starbucks or thirty minutes Doordashing lukewarm Chipotle to someone in yoga pants, and the truth hits you in the face like a soggy…
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From Widow’s Wail to War Cry: The Kirk Tragedy and America’s Talent for Turning Grief Into Ammunition
The Grief Industry Goes Prime Time Charlie Kirk is dead, assassinated on September 10 in Utah. His young widow, Erika Frantzve Kirk, took to the microphone the next day, vowing that “the cries of this widow will echo around the world like a battle cry.” It should have been a moment of mourning. It should…
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When in Doubt, Blame the Gays: How the Right Turned Charlie Kirk’s Murder Into Queer Scapegoating
The Rumor Factory at Full Tilt Tyler Robinson was arrested on September 12 for the killing of Charlie Kirk after a 33-hour manhunt that involved helicopters, interstate checkpoints, and ultimately his own family pointing investigators in the right direction. A bolt-action rifle was recovered. Ballistics confirmed it was fired from roughly 200 yards. Authorities charged…
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Kash Patel’s FBI: Now With 30% More Chaos and 0% More Competence
The Worst Week at the Bureau It only took seven days for Kash Patel to make J. Edgar Hoover look like an Excel spreadsheet. On September 11, Patel stood before cameras and wrongly announced that Charlie Kirk’s assassin was “in custody.” The killer was not, in fact, in custody. By the end of the news…
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The Assassination of Charlie Kirk and the GOP’s Talent for Pouring Gasoline on a Fire They Started
The Fox & Friends Grief Circus Charlie Kirk was assassinated on September 10 while speaking at Utah Valley University. A 22-year-old, Tyler James Robinson, is charged with aggravated murder, reportedly firing a bolt-action rifle from 200 yards away. Police say his own family identified him. The shell casings were allegedly etched with inflammatory messages, because…
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Trump’s Traveling Roadshow of Troops: Now Appearing in Memphis
Donald Trump has always treated the presidency like a touring act—part reality show, part casino floor, part authoritarian cosplay. And on September 12, 2025, he added a new stop on the circuit: Memphis. The big announcement? He’s deploying the National Guard to patrol its streets. Not because Memphis asked for it, not because crime is…