Latest posts

  • Trump Declares War on Anti-Fascism: Guess Which Side That Puts Him On

    Trump Declares War on Anti-Fascism: Guess Which Side That Puts Him On

    The Big Announcement Donald Trump took to Truth Social and, in his usual slurry of caps lock and grievance, announced he would designate Antifa as a “major terrorist organization.” He tied it to the assassination of Charlie Kirk, because everything in MAGA world must be shoehorned into a neat morality play. And what better villain

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  • The Return of Red Scares: Trump and Vance Turn Grief Into Witch Hunt

    The Return of Red Scares: Trump and Vance Turn Grief Into Witch Hunt

    From Mourning to McCarthyism The assassination of Charlie Kirk should have been a tragedy contained by grief, accountability, and legal process. Instead, it became fuel. Within days, the White House pivoted from mourning to manufacturing a new Red Scare. President Donald Trump, flanked by Vice President JD Vance and professional apocalypse salesman Stephen Miller, decided

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  • The Death of Charlie Kirk and the Politics of Selective Grief

    The Death of Charlie Kirk and the Politics of Selective Grief

    Violence Is Not the Answer Let’s start with the obvious: I condemn political violence. All of it. Every bullet, every act dressed up as “justice,” every attempt to turn disagreement into bloodshed. No cause, no grievance, no ideology makes murder acceptable. And yet here we are, talking about another assassination carried out on a public

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  • The Half-Mast Presidency: Selective Empathy as a National Ritual

    The Half-Mast Presidency: Selective Empathy as a National Ritual

    Flags for Some, Not for Others There is nothing quite as American as fighting about flags. We argue about who can kneel before them, who can burn them, whether rainbows belong on them, and now—who gets the honor of lowering them. President Donald Trump ordered U.S. flags lowered nationwide for Charlie Kirk. A right-wing commentator

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  • Shutdown Theater: Now With More Subsidies and Security Funds!

    Shutdown Theater: Now With More Subsidies and Security Funds!

    Welcome back to Washington, America’s longest-running soap opera, where every September the same plotline airs: Will the government shut down? Will Speaker [insert name here, they rotate faster than NFL quarterbacks] hold the caucus together? Will Chuck Schumer furrow his brows meaningfully? And will anyone, at any point, think about the millions of actual humans

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  • The Party of Free Speech Wants a Muzzle—As Long as It’s for You

    The Party of Free Speech Wants a Muzzle—As Long as It’s for You

    Ah, yes. The brave defenders of free speech. The warriors against cancel culture. The self-styled martyrs of the “say what you want, snowflake” movement. They’ve spent years assuring us that America needs to be a safe space—for their offensive jokes, for their racist uncle’s Facebook rants, for their senator’s homophobic tweets typed at 3 a.m.

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  • JD Vance Turns Charlie Kirk’s Memorial Into a Campaign Rally With Tax Audits

    JD Vance Turns Charlie Kirk’s Memorial Into a Campaign Rally With Tax Audits

    When Mourning Means Monetizing Charlie Kirk was assassinated at Utah Valley University. That’s the fact. It happened. A 33-hour manhunt followed. Police arrested 22-year-old Tyler Robinson. The motive remains under investigation. This should have been the moment for solemnity. Reflection. A funeral, not a fundraiser. Instead, the White House turned it into programming content. Vice

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  • Brian Kilmeade and the “Just Kill ’Em” Doctrine: Fox News Accidentally Says the Quiet Part Louder

    Brian Kilmeade and the “Just Kill ’Em” Doctrine: Fox News Accidentally Says the Quiet Part Louder

    If satire is dead, Brian Kilmeade personally strangled it on live television when he suggested, with all the seriousness of a man discussing football stats, that unhoused people with mental illness should receive “involuntary lethal injections.” His actual phrasing—“just kill ’em”—landed with the thud of a guillotine blade hitting the stage floor of Fox &

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  • The Charlie Kirk Narrative Smells Like Yesterday’s Fox News Leftovers

    The Charlie Kirk Narrative Smells Like Yesterday’s Fox News Leftovers

    Not a Conspiracy Theorist, Just a Smell Test Enthusiast I don’t wear tin foil hats. I don’t subscribe to newsletters about the Denver Airport being a Masonic portal to lizard people. I am not a conspiracy theorist. I follow the facts wherever they lead, even if they lead me to deeply inconvenient places like “Charlie

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  • The Eternal Gravity of Shit: Why Hierarchy Is Humanity’s Favorite Hobby

    The Eternal Gravity of Shit: Why Hierarchy Is Humanity’s Favorite Hobby

    We like to tell ourselves that human beings are noble, empathetic creatures. We write novels about kindness, sing songs about love, build religions around compassion. But spend thirty seconds in line at Starbucks or thirty minutes Doordashing lukewarm Chipotle to someone in yoga pants, and the truth hits you in the face like a soggy

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