Latest posts
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FEMA 2.0: The Ultimate Subscription Service for Survival (Basic Tier Only)
Because nothing says “efficient government” like firing half the lifeguards while the pool is on fire. If you have been looking at the escalating climate apocalypse—the hurricanes that now have their own Instagram influencers, the wildfires that are visible from Mars, the floods that are turning basement apartments into aquariums—and thinking, “You know what this
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The Repo Man Wears a MAGA Hat: Trump Administration Decides That the Only Thing Trickling Down is Interest
The government has decided that the biggest threat to the American economy is a twenty-six-year-old with a degree in graphic design and an extra two hundred dollars a month. There is a specific kind of silence that falls over a generation when they realize the safety net was actually a trap door. For the last
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The Red Hat Welfare State: Trump’s $12 Billion “Bridge” Is Just a Toll Road You Paid For Twice
Welcome to the Golden Age of Conservative Socialism, where the government is the problem unless you own a tractor, in which case the government is a limitless ATM. There is a specific, bitter irony that settles in when you watch a political movement dedicated to “free markets” and “personal responsibility” suddenly decide that the federal
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The Freedom to Go Broke: Republicans Unveil Their Plan to Liberate You From Affordable Healthcare
The GOP has finally found a solution to the problem of people having health insurance. It involves taking the money away and giving you a coupon for a savings account you cannot afford to fund. There is a specific kind of grim comedy that defines American healthcare policy. It is the comedy of a man
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The Divorce of the Century: Marjorie Taylor Greene Leaves the Cult
When the most loyal soldier in the MAGA army decides to go AWOL, it isn’t a political pivot; it is a primal scream from inside the house. The marriage between Donald Trump and Marjorie Taylor Greene was never going to end with a quiet mediation and a shared custody agreement for the base. It was
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The Bulwark Wants to Build a Bigger Ship, But We Are Already Underwater
When the sensible conservatives start sounding like doomsday preppers, it is time to check the expiration date on the canned goods. There is a specific frequency of alarm that only emits from the offices of The Bulwark. It is not the shrill, glass-shattering panic of liberal Twitter, nor is it the guttural, blood-and-soil roar of
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Comey: The DOJ Just Got Locked Out of Its Own Evidence Locker
When you raid a lawyer’s iCloud without reading the Fourth Amendment first, you end up with a restraining order and a very embarrassing weekend. It is a rare and beautiful thing to watch the Department of Justice trip over its own shoelaces in slow motion. Usually, the DOJ is the juggernaut, the unmovable object that
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DOJ To Release Grand Jury Epstein Information, Supposedly
On December 19, the United States government will attempt a new experiment: telling the truth about how it let a monster run a catering service for predators. There is a specific kind of silence that descends upon a room when the lights are suddenly turned on at a party that has gone on far too
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The United States of Paranoia: When the National Security Strategy Reads Like a Reddit Thread
The new official policy of the United States is apparently that France is too dark, Russia is just misunderstood, and the Western Hemisphere is a gated community that needs a higher fence. There is a specific kind of document that usually emerges from the White House every few years called the National Security Strategy. Historically,
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The Federal Bureau of Influencers: Inside the 115-Page Suicide Note of American Intelligence
The G-men have left the building, and the content creators have moved in. The most terrifying documents in American history are rarely the ones stamped top secret or buried in a bunker in Virginia. They are the ones that are leaked in a panic, the bureaucratic distress flares fired by people who have realized that