Latest posts

  • English-Only Nation: The Trump-Era War on Multilingualism, Now With Federal Endorsement

    English-Only Nation: The Trump-Era War on Multilingualism, Now With Federal Endorsement

    The Department of Education, in what can only be described as a masterclass in quiet cruelty, has decided that five million English learners across the country are now just a line item too expensive to justify. On August 20, 2025, the department formally rescinded the 2015 “Dear Colleague” guidance—the one that spelled out, in plain

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  • Buzzing Back: Oregon’s Sanctuary Sting to the DOJ’s Drone Strike

    Buzzing Back: Oregon’s Sanctuary Sting to the DOJ’s Drone Strike

    Ladies and gentlemen, grab your headphones: we’re about to listen to the sweetest harmony in a dystopian symphony—the sound of a governor giving the finger to federal pressure without ever raising her middle digit. On August 19, 2025, Oregon Governor Tina Kotek sent a letter to Attorney General Pam Bondi that reads like the quiet

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  • Peacock, Plucked but Proud: Why I’ll Follow MSNBC Anywhere (Even Into MS NOW)

    Peacock, Plucked but Proud: Why I’ll Follow MSNBC Anywhere (Even Into MS NOW)

    The news broke: MSNBC is cutting ties with NBC’s Peacock, shedding the feathers, and rebirthing itself as MS NOW. And while some people are clutching pearls over the rebrand, I have one thing to say: take my Peacock, take my vowels, take whatever you want—just don’t take Rachel Maddow’s monologues away from me. This is

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  • Pratt, Policies, and Polite Pretense: A Star in Defense Mode

    Pratt, Policies, and Polite Pretense: A Star in Defense Mode

    Hollywood’s favorite dude-next-door, Chris Pratt, recently found himself in a moral minefield. He came out publicly to defend RFK Jr.’s policies, calling the wave of backlash “unreasonable hatred” and adding, “I want them all to be successful.” By “them all,” we suspect he meant both Kennedy and… everyone else who learned the difference between anti-vax

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  • Weapons, Freakier Fridays, and the Death Rattle of Sydney Sweeney’s Americana

    Weapons, Freakier Fridays, and the Death Rattle of Sydney Sweeney’s Americana

    The box office has once again delivered its weekend sermon, and America, faithful parishioner that it is, dutifully attended services with popcorn in hand. We were given horror, we were given nostalgia, we were given Bob Odenkirk with bruised knuckles, and—because capitalism cannot function without a sacrificial lamb—we were given Sydney Sweeney’s Americana quietly smothered

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  • The Parasocial Comfort Blanket: Why SmartLess Owns My Brain

    The Parasocial Comfort Blanket: Why SmartLess Owns My Brain

    It’s not easy to admit that the most stable relationship in my life right now involves three middle-aged white men who don’t know I exist. And yet, here I am, another hopelessly devoted listener of SmartLess, the podcast where Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, and Sean Hayes invite celebrity guests, mispronounce each other’s words, interrupt constantly,

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  • The Dust in the Sunlight: Why I Stopped Waiting and Hit Publish

    The Dust in the Sunlight: Why I Stopped Waiting and Hit Publish

    Thank you for being here—for reading to the bottom, for believing longform isn’t dead, for understanding that the dust in the sunlight is not failure but evidence. Evidence that we’ve been moving, living, changing the air. These books are my evidence. I hope one of them becomes yours.

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  • Pete Buttigieg and the Litmus Test That Ate 2028

    Pete Buttigieg and the Litmus Test That Ate 2028

    This was supposed to be Buttigieg’s strength: grace under pressure, a knack for threading impossible needles. Instead, he’s left with the political equivalent of a half-buttoned shirt in a job interview—too casual for the formal crowd, too formal for the casual one. The Gaza litmus test has no safe answers. But what Pete Buttigieg discovered…

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  • When Shots Echo in Hallowed Halls: CDC Under Fire, Misinformation to Blame

    When Shots Echo in Hallowed Halls: CDC Under Fire, Misinformation to Blame

    Here’s the hard truth: when misinformation becomes gospel, shooting at disease-fighting institutions becomes protest. When public health is delegitimized by those in power, the weapons stop being metaphorical. At the end of this horror, officers died, scientists feared for their lives, and toddlers cried behind locked doors. And while logos and bullet casings can be…

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  • The Day the WNBA Got a New Sponsor: Batteries Not Included

    The Day the WNBA Got a New Sponsor: Batteries Not Included

    There are certain moments in sports history that get replayed for decades. Michael Jordan’s flu game. Brandi Chastain’s penalty kick. The time a sex toy took center court at a WNBA game. Yes, you read that correctly. Somewhere between the jump ball and the final buzzer, an adult novelty item decided it was time for

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