Latest posts

  • The Hatch Act: The Law That Everyone Violates and No One Enforces

    The Hatch Act: The Law That Everyone Violates and No One Enforces

    Somewhere in the dusty filing cabinets of American democracy, beneath the “Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law” mattress tags and the ghost of civics classes past, lies the Hatch Act. Passed in 1939, it was meant to be the firewall between government work and campaign work. The promise was simple: no mixing taxpayer business

    Read more

  • The GOP’s Youth Wing Texted Its Soul—and the Screenshots Are a Horror Film

    The GOP’s Youth Wing Texted Its Soul—and the Screenshots Are a Horror Film

    Once upon a time, “Young Republicans” conjured up an image of overeager poli-sci majors in red ties quoting Reagan and networking over light beer. You know, the overconfident debate-team archetype—annoying, yes, but largely harmless. Fast-forward to 2025, and Politico has dropped a leak that proves the next generation of GOP leadership is less “country club

    Read more

  • The Death of Facts: How Ring Wing America Replaced Reality with Programming

    The Death of Facts: How Ring Wing America Replaced Reality with Programming

    There was a time, not all that long ago, when America had one reality. It wasn’t perfect, but at least it was shared. We all tuned in to Walter Cronkite or Peter Jennings or Dan Rather. The evening news would come on, everyone would collectively lower their voices, and for thirty blessed minutes the country

    Read more

  • Katy Perry and Justin Trudeau: Yacht-Gate 2025

    Katy Perry and Justin Trudeau: Yacht-Gate 2025

    There’s something serenely apocalyptic in waking up to the news that a former prime minister of Canada is now a tabloid subject aboard a yacht off Santa Barbara. What began as a vintage clickbait headline—“Katy Perry caught on camera kissing a shirtless Justin Trudeau”—has erupted into real tabloids printing fresh, full-color proof: Perry and Trudeau

    Read more

  • The Last WTF: Marc Maron, Barack Obama, and the Funeral for American Adulthood

    The Last WTF: Marc Maron, Barack Obama, and the Funeral for American Adulthood

    There’s a particular tone you can hear only in the voice of a man who has seen the apocalypse, accepted it, and still shows up for soundcheck. Marc Maron has been that voice for sixteen years—equal parts therapy session, post-mortem, and open-mic confession booth—and on October 13, 2025, he turned off the mic for good.

    Read more

  • When the Cult of Personality Goes Biblical: Trump as the Antichrist (From An Atheist Who Doesn’t Believe in Such Things)

    When the Cult of Personality Goes Biblical: Trump as the Antichrist (From An Atheist Who Doesn’t Believe in Such Things)

    There’s an old superstition that when the world begins to eat itself, a showman appears to tell it the apocalypse is just a ratings opportunity. Even if you don’t believe in God, hell, or horned beasts rising from the sea, you have to admit that Donald Trump’s recent “peace deal” in the Middle East reads

    Read more

  • Portland: The Revolution Will Be Choreographed And Feature a Frog

    Portland: The Revolution Will Be Choreographed And Feature a Frog

    It’s 2025, and in Portland, resistance now comes with a soundtrack and a splash zone. The city once branded a “war zone” by right-wing commentators has become something else entirely—a performance art piece starring inflatable amphibians, unicorns, and a surprising number of sharks. The Portland ICE facility—once the backdrop for grim standoffs and militarized optics—has

    Read more

  • When the Curtain Falls: Diane Keaton Leaves a World Unworthy of Her Talent

    When the Curtain Falls: Diane Keaton Leaves a World Unworthy of Her Talent

    I want to start by acknowledging that writing satire about someone’s death is delicate—especially when the person is beloved, irreplaceable, and has left an indelible mark on our lives. Diane Keaton’s passing on October 11, 2025, at age 79, is real grief; the only ironic jabs I’ll risk are at the world she leaves behind,

    Read more

  • Outbreak of the RFK Jr. and Russ Vought Virus: No CDC Employees Left To Treat It

    Outbreak of the RFK Jr. and Russ Vought Virus: No CDC Employees Left To Treat It

    If you ever needed proof that America has officially become a satire written by a malfunctioning chatbot, behold: the CDC accidentally fired itself during a government shutdown. Not metaphorically. Not “downsized for efficiency.” Literally—hundreds of our nation’s top epidemiologists, lab chiefs, and field investigators got layoff emails mid-pandemic prep because someone in Washington pressed “Send

    Read more

  • The Sheikhs of Idaho: How We Accidentally Let Qatar Build a “Not-a-Base” Base in the U.S.

    The Sheikhs of Idaho: How We Accidentally Let Qatar Build a “Not-a-Base” Base in the U.S.

    There’s a new kind of foreign investment in America—one that comes with F-15s, a ten-year commitment, and a PR team insisting it’s definitely not a base. This week, the Pentagon proudly unveiled plans for a Qatar-funded “training complex” at Mountain Home Air Force Base in Idaho, which will host Qatari pilots and their U.S.-made fighter

    Read more