Latest posts
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Trump’s Legs Are Tired. America is Too.
In news that will shock absolutely no one who’s seen a senior citizen in a golf cart wearing three layers of bronzer and rage, Donald Trump has been diagnosed with chronic venous insufficiency (CVI)—which, to the medically uninitiated, translates roughly to: his veins are tired of the bullshit too.
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Colbert’s Exit Strategy: CBS Cancels ‘The Late Show’ (But Totally for Financial Reasons, Of Course)
CBS has announced that The Late Show with Stephen Colbert will end after its next season in May 2026, citing—what else?—“financial considerations.” The network didn’t elaborate much, but rest assured, it has absolutely nothing to do with Colbert’s recent on-air jabs at CBS’s parent company, Paramount Global, for quietly settling a $16 million lawsuit with
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When the World Turns Rainbow But Still Cuts Deep: Wish You Were Queer – Out Now
Buy the book here: Wish You Were Queer on AmazonCheck out more of my work on my Amazon Author Page There’s this idea that queer kids dream of a better world—one where being who we are doesn’t come with whispers, looks, punishments, or pain. It’s a fantasy born from survival. But what if that world
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Budget Cuts and Band-Aids: How to Save America by Abandoning Everyone Else
In a bold display of cost-cutting patriotism, the Senate has advanced President Trump’s request to trim a casual $9 billion off the federal budget—a move that mostly affects programs you didn’t realize were saving lives until yesterday’s headlines told you they might vanish. Among the financial casualties: foreign aid, public broadcasting, and—because irony is apparently
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The Legend of Zillion-Dollar Casting Regrets: Hollywood Storms Hyrule
Hark! The distant cry of a million nostalgic millennials just echoed across the land—and it wasn’t from blowing into a Nintendo 64 cartridge. It was from the announcement that a live-action Legend of Zelda film is officially in the works. Yes, the long-whispered dream (or nightmare) of bringing Hyrule to Hollywood is now reality. And
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ReMaxed: HBO Hits Undo on Its Personality Crisis
In a plot twist no one asked for—but everyone kinda expected—Warner Bros. Discovery has decided to march its streaming service back into the past, like a prodigal child in a backwards hoodie. That’s right: Max is no more. HBO Max is back. Again. Yes, the platform that once boldly declared, “We are dropping the HBO
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The Menendez Brothers Might Be Walking—And Not Because of Good Behavior
In a plot twist no one saw coming—except maybe anyone who’s ever watched a true crime docuseries—Los Angeles County Superior Court Judge William C. Ryan just cracked open a legal time capsule from 1996 and asked the DA’s office a bold question: “You sure about that conviction?” Apparently, the answer might soon be “Eh… maybe
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NORTH KOREA ISSUES NEW THREATS: STOP FLYING STUFF NEAR US OR WE’LL TOTALLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, MAYBE
PYONGYANG — In what’s become an oddly predictable quarterly tradition, North Korea has once again puffed up its metaphorical chest and issued stern warnings that it is “ready to engage in military action” against the United States, Japan, and South Korea. Sources confirm the warning came moments after Kim Jong-un finished his daily routine of
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Jeff Bezos Sells $666 Million in Amazon Stock—Apocalypse Now Eligible for Prime Delivery
The Mark of the Beast? More like the Mark of Bezos. In a move that has conspiracy theorists foaming at the mouth and theologians nervously clutching their Kindles, Jeff Bezos has sold exactly $666 million worth of Amazon stock this week—because apparently, when you’re the world’s richest man, symbolism is just another flex. That’s right.
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Make Peace Great Again: Trump Nominated for Nobel, World Nods Politely
In a plot twist that reads like satire but somehow isn’t, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has officially nominated Donald J. Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize, citing his “tremendous, absolutely tremendous work” brokering the Abraham Accords. Trump reportedly accepted the nomination with humility, saying only: “Of course I deserve it. I’ve brought more peace