Latest posts
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The Naked Gun Premiere Stuns Nation: Critics Describe Experience as ‘Emotionally Immature,’ ‘Deeply Healing,’ and ‘Unfit for the Literate’
It was a night to remember—if, that is, your brain had been recently concussed by a whiffle bat and lubricated with the comedic sophistication of a whoopee cushion. The red carpet was laid, the stars were out, and the nation’s dignity was carefully packed into a burlap sack and hurled down a fire escape. Yes,
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Business as Usual: A Two-Shooter Monday in the Land of the Free
There’s a uniquely American efficiency to how we process mass shootings. As if the country were run by a bureaucratic vending machine that now just spits out blood instead of soda. Insert thoughts. Receive prayers. Try again tomorrow. Today’s patriotic performance art featured not one but two active shooter incidents. First, the Grand Sierra Resort
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From Voltron Spoilers to Space Cavemen: Comic‑Con 2025 Is Looking Very, Very Loud
Comic‑Con 2025 is in full force, and the annual spectacle reached new levels of cinematic absurdity. If you thought fandom insanity peaked with the return of Rick and Morty, this year’s convention feels like it’s being curated by a hyperactive AI with a nostalgia filter set to “max.” Let’s unpack the highlights—with all the sarcasm
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“Make Me President, Daddy”: A Spin Doctor’s Descent Through the American Spectacle
Read now on Kindle UnlimitedExplore more of my work: Amazon Author Page I didn’t write Make Me President, Daddy to mock a man. He does that to himself. I wrote it to eulogize a country that laughed its way into the grave. This book started as a scream I couldn’t get out during the first
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Silicon Fever Dreams: Tech Titans, Quantum Chaos, and the Dawn of AI Interviewers Who Judge Your Vibe
Somewhere between the release of a quantum chip named like your aunt’s dog (hi, Willow) and the quiet pivot from “ban AI in hiring” to “please, AI, hire someone,” the tech world decided it was time to let its mask slip. Not the innovation mask. The sanity one. This week’s round-up in Techgeddon 2025™ offers
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Beyond the Blockbusters: 8 Films and Shows from 2025 That Deserved More Than a Shrug
Every year, a few shiny, oversaturated blockbusters clog the pop culture pipeline like cholesterol in a Marvel fan’s arteries. They arrive, they dominate, they trend—and then they vanish, leaving behind three memes, two Funko Pops, and a vague sense that maybe cinema died somewhere around the seventh franchise installment. But not everything made in 2025
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This Isn’t the Breakdown We Paid For: The American Concert Experience, Now With Bonus Trauma
There was a time—not long ago—when you could attend a live show and expect nothing more than $18 beers, overpriced parking, and the existential dread of being the oldest person in the crowd wearing glitter. That was the pact. You show up, the band plays, you lose your voice, maybe your dignity, and you limp
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Colbert’s Curtain Call: When the Laugh Track Gets Subpoenaed
Let’s get one thing straight: in 2025 America, free speech isn’t dead—it’s just nervously checking its follower count while Homeland Security reviews its late-night monologue. This week, CBS announced the “scheduling discontinuation” of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, a decision about as subtle as a Fox News chyron at a drag brunch. While the
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She’s Not Just a Doll Anymore: M3GAN 2.0 Goes Off-Script and Off-Genre
Remember when M3GAN danced into our hearts with murder in her eyes and Wi-Fi in her soul? When she became the unofficial icon of tech-induced toddler terror and TikTok’s favorite homicidal android? Yeah, well, hold onto your titanium butt plates, because M3GAN 2.0 has arrived—and she’s traded her scream queen status for… a genre identity
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Trump’s Legs Are Tired. America is Too.
In news that will shock absolutely no one who’s seen a senior citizen in a golf cart wearing three layers of bronzer and rage, Donald Trump has been diagnosed with chronic venous insufficiency (CVI)—which, to the medically uninitiated, translates roughly to: his veins are tired of the bullshit too.