Latest posts
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The Myth of the “Good Old Days”: A Thanksgiving Toast to the Eras That Tried to Erase Us
We gather here today, in the warm glow of incandescent bulbs and familial obligation, to perform the sacred ritual of forced gratitude. The table is set. The turkey is dry. The cranberry sauce retains the ridges of the can, a gelatinous monument to industrial efficiency. And around the perimeter, a collection of relatives—some beloved, some
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The Politics of the Kids’ Table: A Survival Guide for the Holidays
The cranberry sauce is shaped like the can. The turkey is dry enough to be used as attic insulation. The tension in the room is vibrating at a frequency usually reserved for bomb disposal units or hostage negotiations. Welcome to Thanksgiving in America. We are gathered here today to worship at the altar of “Family
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The unauthorized History of the Home of the Brave: A Guide to 400 Years of squatter’s Rights
We like to tell ourselves a very specific story about the United States. It is a story printed on glossy brochures, recited by politicians with wet eyes, and taught to children before they are old enough to read the footnotes. It is the story of a “Nation of Immigrants,” a melting pot where the tired,
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The First Illegal Aliens Wore Buckle Shoes: A Thanksgiving Guide to Stolen Land and Hypocrisy
The truth is that America is a messy, violent, beautiful, hypocritical project. It is a country capable of profound generosity and staggering cruelty. We are a nation of immigrants who hate immigrants. We are a nation born of revolution that fears change. We are a nation of stolen land that is obsessed with property rights.
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The Secretary of War vs. The Astronaut: Why the Pentagon Is Court-Martialing a Senator for Reading the Manual
The transition from a democratic republic to a reality television autocracy is usually marked by a change in the stationery. In the case of the Department of Defense, the rebranding has been less about letterhead and more about a fundamental shift in the metaphysics of the building. Under the stewardship of Pete Hegseth, a man
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The Nuremberg Refresher Course: Why the “Seditious Six” Are the Only Ones Trying to Save the Troops from the Hague
The timeline of American decline has a specific, rhythmic quality to it now, like a drumbeat played by a toddler who found a loaded gun. On November 24, 2025, that rhythm accelerated into a frantic, terrified tempo when the Pentagon announced an “extraordinary misconduct probe” into Senator Mark Kelly. The crime of this retired Navy
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Red Scare 8.0: How Idiots Still Don’t Understand The Difference Between Socialism and Communism
Why You Should Probably Google Words Before You Scream Them at Thanksgiving Dinner Welcome, patriots, comrades, and confused centrists. Grab a beverage—preferably one produced by a worker-owned cooperative or a ruthless multinational conglomerate, depending on your vibe—because we are about to embark on a journey. A journey into the heart of darkness. By “darkness,” I
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How Trump’s “Peace Plan” Turned Ukraine into a Real Estate Distressed Asset
The modern history of diplomacy is usually written in treaties, summits, and carefully worded communiqués hammered out by people who know the difference between a demilitarized zone and a zoning variance. But the history of the second Trump administration is being written in term sheets. On November 21, 2025, the world learned exactly what happens
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Trump’s ICE Body Bag: Where the Amenities Are Tylenol and a Body Bag
The wind in the high desert of Victorville, California, blows with a specific, sand-blasting indifference. It strips the paint off cars and the hope off human beings with equal efficiency. In this desolate landscape sits the Adelanto ICE Processing Center, a facility that sounds like a place where one might go to renew a driver’s
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No Good Deed and the Critics: Why ‘Wicked’ Is the Tragedy We Deserve
The lights went down in the theater, and for a brief moment, the collective anxiety of the world—the elections, the economy, the general sense that we are living in the final season of a poorly written reality show—suspended itself in the dark. I sat there with Matthew, my fiance and designated emotional anchor, and our