Latest posts
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Groypers, Grievances, and the Great MAGA Family Reunion
Every political movement develops factions. The Bolsheviks had Mensheviks, the Catholics had Protestants, the Beatles had Yoko. But no coalition fractures quite like the MAGAverse, which has managed to stuff twelve different ideological cliques into one red hat—and none of them particularly like each other. If the Republican Party used to be a country club,…
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The Eternal Gravity of Shit: Why Hierarchy Is Humanity’s Favorite Hobby
We like to tell ourselves that human beings are noble, empathetic creatures. We write novels about kindness, sing songs about love, build religions around compassion. But spend thirty seconds in line at Starbucks or thirty minutes Doordashing lukewarm Chipotle to someone in yoga pants, and the truth hits you in the face like a soggy…
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Texas Builds a Deportation Machine Because Governing Was Too Boring
Everything Is Bigger in Texas—Even the Loopholes Texas has decided that if the federal government won’t let it declare its own foreign policy, it will improvise. Governor Greg Abbott’s Operation Lone Star has now quietly metastasized from “border security theater” into “statewide deportation cosplay.” DPS strike teams, created at Abbott’s direction, have made more than…
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In response to prematurely blaming liberals for Charlie Kirk: Maybe Stop Acting Like Fascists If You Don’t Want to Be Called Fascists
There’s a game the American right has perfected. It goes like this: they say or do something horrifying—racist, misogynist, homophobic, authoritarian—then when people point it out, they act wounded, offended, persecuted. How dare you call us fascist? they cry, clutching their pearls with one hand while sharpening voter suppression laws with the other. It’s a…
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Charlie Kirk’s Assassination by MAGA Gun Nut Tyler Robinson and the Myth of Martyrdom
It’s troubling—horrifying, really—that Charlie Kirk was assassinated. Political violence is never the answer, not when it’s directed at the left, not when it’s directed at the right, not when it’s directed at the loud, obnoxious pundits who thrive on outrage, and not when it’s directed at their most vulnerable targets. A functioning democracy cannot survive…
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Big Little Lies Season 3: HBO’s Attempt at Resurrection Theater
The Prestige Necromancy Business HBO just announced what Hollywood does best: recycling. Big Little Lies—the Monterey mommy noir that gave us Nicole Kidman in silk blouses whisper-screaming about trauma and Reese Witherspoon perfecting the art of weaponized brunch—is being resurrected for a third season. Francesca Sloane, fresh off Mr. & Mrs. Smith, is tasked with…
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The Week America Became Judge, Jury, and Caribbean Executioner
September began with a bang—and 11 bodies floating in the southern Caribbean. President Donald Trump, in a tone that straddled triumph and reality TV cliffhanger, announced that the U.S. military had “destroyed” a Venezuelan vessel, killing alleged members of Tren de Aragua. Alleged being the operative word. Alleged as in “we’ll circle back with details…
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Twenty-Four Years Later: What We Should Have Learned from 9/11 (But Absolutely Didn’t)
The anniversary of September 11 rolls around every year like a fire alarm that no one bothers to silence anymore. We stop, we remember, we replay the grainy footage in our minds, and then—like a nation addicted to selective amnesia—we forget the one lesson we were supposed to have learned: unity. Not unity as in…
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When the Shepherd Won’t Call the Hotline: The Gospel According to Mandatory Reporting
There is a special place in America’s theater of hypocrisy reserved for pastors who forget that “suffer the little children” was not meant as operational policy. This week, Gainesville’s Assemblies of God star, Pastor Mark Vega of Ignite Life Center, found himself in police custody, charged with the third-degree felony of knowingly and willfully failing…
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One Day, Three Flexes: The Roberts Hold, Midway Blitz, and the Birthday Book That Wouldn’t Die
The news cycle didn’t just turn over. It did somersaults, pirouettes, and then flopped onto the couch clutching its side. By breakfast, Chief Justice John Roberts had played human sandbag for Donald Trump’s freeze on nearly $5 billion in foreign aid. By lunch, Chicago was choking on “Operation Midway Blitz” immigration raids, a branding exercise…