Latest posts

  • The Cult of the Supporter and Why I Don’t Give a Damn About Trump

    The Cult of the Supporter and Why I Don’t Give a Damn About Trump

    Let me say it again for the people in the cheap seats: I don’t give a damn about Donald Trump. Not a single molecule of my being is interested in his daily diet of McNuggets, the awkward orange glow of his tanning bed addiction, or the bizarre way he insists on pronouncing “China” like he’s

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  • We Are All D.C. (Except the People Running It)

    We Are All D.C. (Except the People Running It)

    The nation’s capital looked less like the seat of democracy and more like the set of a dystopian reboot of COPS. Thousands of residents packed Meridian Hill—also known as Malcolm X—Park, then marched down 16th Street to Freedom Plaza for the “We Are All D.C.” rally. The name was both poetic and desperate: a reminder

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  • The Million-Dollar Letter: Austin’s “A” and the Art of Public Branding

    The Million-Dollar Letter: Austin’s “A” and the Art of Public Branding

    On September 4–5, 2025, Austin unveiled its first-ever unified city logo: a wavy blue-green “A” allegedly inspired by the hills, rivers, bridges, and violet-crown skies that define the Texas capital. It is, in the words of the city, a “strategic modernization.” In the words of the internet, it’s “Dallas-adjacent,” “corporate clipart,” and “the most expensive

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  • Apocalypse Now, But Make It Truth Social

    Apocalypse Now, But Make It Truth Social

    On September 6, 2025, President Donald J. Trump escalated his “law-and-order” offensive in Chicago not with a policy paper, not with a briefing, not even with a garbled campaign rally rant. No, he escalated with Photoshop. The President of the United States posted an Apocalypse Now–style image of himself looming over a flaming Chicago skyline,

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  • The Department of Defense Is Dead. Long Live the Department of War.

    The Department of Defense Is Dead. Long Live the Department of War.

    On September 5, 2025, President Donald J. Trump signed an executive order that rebranded the Department of Defense as the “Department of War.” It was the kind of move that sounds like a late-night Onion headline but instead became federal reality, complete with Pete Hegseth introducing himself on Fox & Friends the next morning as

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  • The Jobs Report That Wasn’t a Crash, Just a Stall With the Seatbelt Light On

    The Jobs Report That Wasn’t a Crash, Just a Stall With the Seatbelt Light On

    On September 5, 2025, the August jobs report landed like an anemic cough. U.S. nonfarm payrolls rose by a mere 22,000, a number so small you could tuck it into a single suburban warehouse and still have space for a pickleball court. The unemployment rate ticked up to 4.3%, the highest in nearly four years.

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  • The Antichrist With a Red Tie

    The Antichrist With a Red Tie

    I am not religious. I have never mistaken a casserole for communion or believed that a televangelist’s sweaty forehead could save me. But if you flip through the Book of Revelation—an acid-trip fever dream of beasts, trumpets, and plagues—it feels like a spoiler alert for American cable news. Specifically, it reads like a casting call

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  • Trump the Informant? Mike Johnson’s Improv History Lesson

    Trump the Informant? Mike Johnson’s Improv History Lesson

    On September 5, 2025, House Speaker Mike Johnson stood before reporters and unleashed a claim so improbable it deserves its own Netflix docudrama: Donald J. Trump, former president, serial golf cheat, and part-time beauty pageant impresario, was an FBI informant against Jeffrey Epstein. The defense was as brazen as it was bizarre. Johnson, cornered by

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  • The Rose Garden Wasn’t the Only Thing Repaved

    The Rose Garden Wasn’t the Only Thing Repaved

    On September 4, 2025, President Trump staged what the official invite called a “White House dinner to celebrate American innovation.” What actually unfolded was a glossy loyalty ritual with better catering. The guest list read like a Silicon Valley shareholders’ meeting relocated to Washington: Tim Cook, Sundar Pichai, Sam Altman, Mark Zuckerberg, Satya Nadella, Arvind

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  • IFA 2025: Robot Butlers, Candy Lights, and the Vacuum That Climbed a Stair

    IFA 2025: Robot Butlers, Candy Lights, and the Vacuum That Climbed a Stair

    The Germans know how to stage a fair. Beer festivals, Christmas markets, auto expos that smell like ambition and diesel. But from September 5–9, 2025, Berlin’s IFA did its best impression of an everything-everywhere-all-at-once TikTok feed, vomiting gadgets at the masses until the only logical reaction was to stand slack-jawed and mutter, “Wait—did that vacuum

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