Latest posts
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COTALAND: Austin’s Roller Coaster to Nowhere (Yet)
A Park Delayed, but Dreams are Never Late The theme park industrial complex has a formula: announce early, overpromise wildly, and then pray nobody notices when the opening date slides into the next election cycle. COTALAND, Austin’s would-be roller coaster Mecca, is now on that exact track—ironically the only track they’ve managed to finish on
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Apple’s Next Ten Things: Because Owning Your Soul Once Wasn’t Enough
The Launch Avalanche No One Asked For Apple has lined up ten more products for release in the coming cycle. Ten. Because apparently, the cure for market stagnation isn’t innovation—it’s attrition. If one shiny rectangle doesn’t hypnotize you, surely ten will. The list reads like a fever dream of incrementalism: a faster Apple TV, a
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The Emmys Crown Their New Royalty: Streamers, Sad Billionaires, and Seth Rogen
Award shows love to pretend they’re about art, but the Emmys have always been about bragging rights. Who owns the zeitgeist? Who commands the hashtags? Who can throw the longest acceptance speech while orchestra violins nervously twitch in the pit? And this year, the 77th Primetime Emmys gave us the answer in flashing lights: streaming
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When in Doubt, Blame the Gays: How the Right Turned Charlie Kirk’s Murder Into Queer Scapegoating
The Rumor Factory at Full Tilt Tyler Robinson was arrested on September 12 for the killing of Charlie Kirk after a 33-hour manhunt that involved helicopters, interstate checkpoints, and ultimately his own family pointing investigators in the right direction. A bolt-action rifle was recovered. Ballistics confirmed it was fired from roughly 200 yards. Authorities charged
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Trump’s Traveling Roadshow of Troops: Now Appearing in Memphis
Donald Trump has always treated the presidency like a touring act—part reality show, part casino floor, part authoritarian cosplay. And on September 12, 2025, he added a new stop on the circuit: Memphis. The big announcement? He’s deploying the National Guard to patrol its streets. Not because Memphis asked for it, not because crime is
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SNL Says Goodbye to Ego Nwodim and Hello to the Eternal Lorne Michaels Hunger Games
Seven Years, One Exit Post, and a Cast in Perpetual Revolt Ego Nwodim did what every modern celebrity does when it’s time to move on: she opened Instagram, wrote “unforgettable” in italics, and announced she was leaving Saturday Night Live after seven seasons. Seven years of wigs, cue cards, and sketches that hit about as
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In response to prematurely blaming liberals for Charlie Kirk: Maybe Stop Acting Like Fascists If You Don’t Want to Be Called Fascists
There’s a game the American right has perfected. It goes like this: they say or do something horrifying—racist, misogynist, homophobic, authoritarian—then when people point it out, they act wounded, offended, persecuted. How dare you call us fascist? they cry, clutching their pearls with one hand while sharpening voter suppression laws with the other. It’s a
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Charlie Kirk’s Killer Tyler Robinson Wasn’t Who They Wanted. Turns out MAGA is the Terrorist Organization That’s Full of Violence
The Great Unmasking Well, the smoke has cleared, the police reports have landed, and the identity of Charlie Kirk’s killer is public: Tyler Robinson. A white Mormon groyper. A 4chan radical. The exact flavor of basement-bred extremism that the right pretends doesn’t exist until it’s too obvious to ignore. So naturally, this is the moment
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Charlie Kirk’s Assassination by MAGA Gun Nut Tyler Robinson and the Myth of Martyrdom
It’s troubling—horrifying, really—that Charlie Kirk was assassinated. Political violence is never the answer, not when it’s directed at the left, not when it’s directed at the right, not when it’s directed at the loud, obnoxious pundits who thrive on outrage, and not when it’s directed at their most vulnerable targets. A functioning democracy cannot survive
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Stagflation Lite™: Now With Extra Tariffs and Tomato Surcharges
America, you can relax. Inflation is only at its highest pace since January, jobless claims are at their highest since October 2021, and the Labor Department has discovered that somewhere between April 2024 and March 2025, we misplaced nearly a million jobs. (Don’t worry, they’re probably under the couch with your missing socks and Biden’s