Latest posts
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Glorious Chronicle of the Leader’s Magnificent Week
There are few weeks in the long, triumphant reign of our Beloved Commander that shine so brightly as this past one. The sun itself, perhaps fearful of casting a shadow upon his perfect silhouette, rose each day only to illuminate his strong jawline, his vibrant mane, and his posture that would make even the marble…
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The Strongman Starter Pack: From Manila to Mar-a-Lago
Rodrigo Duterte’s rise in the Philippines wasn’t an accident—it was a case study in how democracies willingly hand the keys to strongmen when fear, spectacle, and fatigue collide. Donald Trump is running the same script in America: cult of personality, demonization of enemies, attacks on the press, selective empathy, institutional erosion, and an endless blurring…
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America’s Economy Is Being Weighed on a Broken Scale
The Ghost in the Ledger Every empire has its rituals. Rome had the census, England had the coronation, and the United States has the Bureau of Labor Statistics dropping PDFs like they’re scripture. The Consumer Expenditure Survey—CE, to the faithful—was supposed to arrive September 23, like manna in spreadsheet form. Instead, it’s been postponed indefinitely.…
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A Royal Circus, a Domestic Inquisition, and the Death of Late Night: Trump’s September Trifecta
The Pageant in Windsor There’s no such thing as a small Trump visit. Not when the U.K. rolls out Windsor pomp for a man who treats Buckingham Palace like a casino floor. King Charles III, looking every bit the monarch who once had to weather tabloids about tampon fantasies, gamely escorted Donald Trump through ceremonial…
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When Science Meets Conspiracy: The CDC’s New Vaccine Variety Hour
If you ever wanted to watch the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reinvent itself as a cross between a daytime talk show and a flat-earth convention, congratulations: September 18, 2025 delivered. Picture it—a fluorescent-lit conference room in Atlanta, where a panel once devoted to quiet, data-heavy immunization schedules has been rebranded as the CDC’s…
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Pam Bondi Declares War on the First Amendment—Then Googles What It Actually Says
You’d think the Attorney General of the United States would know the First Amendment. You’d think she’d have at least skimmed it once in law school, maybe while flipping through her notes on “How Not to Start a Constitutional Crisis.” And yet here we are. Pam Bondi—Donald Trump’s Attorney General—managed to light Washington on fire…
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Meta Wants to Live in Your Eyeballs Now
Welcome to the Eye Economy Mark Zuckerberg took the stage at Meta Connect in Menlo Park and unveiled his latest plan to colonize the human face. Forget the metaverse graveyard; this year the pitch is three new AI glasses, because apparently the only thing keeping us from blissful techno-nirvana was strapping a HUD to our…
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The Return of Red Scares: Trump and Vance Turn Grief Into Witch Hunt
From Mourning to McCarthyism The assassination of Charlie Kirk should have been a tragedy contained by grief, accountability, and legal process. Instead, it became fuel. Within days, the White House pivoted from mourning to manufacturing a new Red Scare. President Donald Trump, flanked by Vice President JD Vance and professional apocalypse salesman Stephen Miller, decided…
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The Glitterball Hunger Games: Dancing With the Stars Season 34 Kicks Off by Breaking Its Own Math
Opening Night, Chaos Optional “Dancing With the Stars” opened its 34th season like only an American reality juggernaut can: too many contestants, too much glitter, and not nearly enough functional technology. Fourteen couples poured onto the ballroom floor, the disco lights blinded half the audience, and the producers announced no eliminations this week—as if America…
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Kash Patel’s Senate Hearing: When Oversight Becomes Cage Match
The Director in the Hot Seat The FBI director is supposed to radiate calm authority. Buttoned-up, even boring. Kash Patel did not get the memo. At his Senate Judiciary oversight hearing, Patel delivered spectacle instead of stability—part wrestling promo, part courtroom drama, part Fox primetime audition. Patel denied politicizing the bureau, denied purging Trump critics,…