Latest posts
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Pam Bondi Declares War on the First Amendment—Then Googles What It Actually Says
You’d think the Attorney General of the United States would know the First Amendment. You’d think she’d have at least skimmed it once in law school, maybe while flipping through her notes on “How Not to Start a Constitutional Crisis.” And yet here we are. Pam Bondi—Donald Trump’s Attorney General—managed to light Washington on fire
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Meta Wants to Live in Your Eyeballs Now
Welcome to the Eye Economy Mark Zuckerberg took the stage at Meta Connect in Menlo Park and unveiled his latest plan to colonize the human face. Forget the metaverse graveyard; this year the pitch is three new AI glasses, because apparently the only thing keeping us from blissful techno-nirvana was strapping a HUD to our
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The Return of Red Scares: Trump and Vance Turn Grief Into Witch Hunt
From Mourning to McCarthyism The assassination of Charlie Kirk should have been a tragedy contained by grief, accountability, and legal process. Instead, it became fuel. Within days, the White House pivoted from mourning to manufacturing a new Red Scare. President Donald Trump, flanked by Vice President JD Vance and professional apocalypse salesman Stephen Miller, decided
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The Glitterball Hunger Games: Dancing With the Stars Season 34 Kicks Off by Breaking Its Own Math
Opening Night, Chaos Optional “Dancing With the Stars” opened its 34th season like only an American reality juggernaut can: too many contestants, too much glitter, and not nearly enough functional technology. Fourteen couples poured onto the ballroom floor, the disco lights blinded half the audience, and the producers announced no eliminations this week—as if America
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Kash Patel’s Senate Hearing: When Oversight Becomes Cage Match
The Director in the Hot Seat The FBI director is supposed to radiate calm authority. Buttoned-up, even boring. Kash Patel did not get the memo. At his Senate Judiciary oversight hearing, Patel delivered spectacle instead of stability—part wrestling promo, part courtroom drama, part Fox primetime audition. Patel denied politicizing the bureau, denied purging Trump critics,
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The Death of Charlie Kirk and the Politics of Selective Grief
Violence Is Not the Answer Let’s start with the obvious: I condemn political violence. All of it. Every bullet, every act dressed up as “justice,” every attempt to turn disagreement into bloodshed. No cause, no grievance, no ideology makes murder acceptable. And yet here we are, talking about another assassination carried out on a public
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The Half-Mast Presidency: Selective Empathy as a National Ritual
Flags for Some, Not for Others There is nothing quite as American as fighting about flags. We argue about who can kneel before them, who can burn them, whether rainbows belong on them, and now—who gets the honor of lowering them. President Donald Trump ordered U.S. flags lowered nationwide for Charlie Kirk. A right-wing commentator
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Shutdown Theater: Now With More Subsidies and Security Funds!
Welcome back to Washington, America’s longest-running soap opera, where every September the same plotline airs: Will the government shut down? Will Speaker [insert name here, they rotate faster than NFL quarterbacks] hold the caucus together? Will Chuck Schumer furrow his brows meaningfully? And will anyone, at any point, think about the millions of actual humans
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The Party of Free Speech Wants a Muzzle—As Long as It’s for You
Ah, yes. The brave defenders of free speech. The warriors against cancel culture. The self-styled martyrs of the “say what you want, snowflake” movement. They’ve spent years assuring us that America needs to be a safe space—for their offensive jokes, for their racist uncle’s Facebook rants, for their senator’s homophobic tweets typed at 3 a.m.
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JD Vance Turns Charlie Kirk’s Memorial Into a Campaign Rally With Tax Audits
When Mourning Means Monetizing Charlie Kirk was assassinated at Utah Valley University. That’s the fact. It happened. A 33-hour manhunt followed. Police arrested 22-year-old Tyler Robinson. The motive remains under investigation. This should have been the moment for solemnity. Reflection. A funeral, not a fundraiser. Instead, the White House turned it into programming content. Vice