Latest posts
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Trump Flirts With Weed Rescheduling and Wall Street Immediately Smokes the Hopium
A CNBC headline, a market rally, and an entire industry watching the federal government like it’s a moody landlord who might finally fix the heater. Cannabis stocks and marijuana-focused ETFs just did that thing they always do when Washington coughs in their direction: they levitated. After a CNBC report said President Donald Trump is expected
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Hillary, Kamala, Pelosi, Elizabeth, AOC, Klobuchar, and Jasmine Crockett: Left’s Favorite Sport Is Nitpicking Strong Women
The résumé is flawless, the vibes are “off,” and somehow the safe choice is always some guy who thinks subcommittee work is a type of sandwich. The modern American left has a recurring ritual that looks like accountability from far away and feels like sabotage up close. It begins when an accomplished woman steps forward
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Kristi Noem Shows Up to Oversight With a Script and Leaves With More Questions
The administration calls it law enforcement, critics call it a rights grinder, and Congress tries to remember it has a job besides yelling. The House Homeland Security Committee hauled DHS Secretary Kristi Noem in for an oversight hearing and the whole thing played out like a courtroom drama performed by people who hate courts. Noem
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South Carolina’s Measles Outbreak Proves RFK Jr. and Trump Freedom Includes Airborne Particles
A holiday travel season, a church-centered cluster, and a virus that does not care about your Facebook degree in “doing your own research.” In the Upstate of South Carolina, public health officials are doing the thing we always swear we want government to do, quietly, competently, with clipboards and contact tracing and the slow dread
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U.S. Navy Goes Tanker Shopping and Calls It Sanctions Enforcement
One part maritime choke point, one part reality show, and one part global oil market swallowing hard. The Trump administration is preparing more at-sea seizures of oil tankers near Venezuela, and it is doing it with the kind of confident swagger that usually shows up right before someone asks, quietly, what the exit plan is.
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Senate Filibusters Your Healthcare and Calls It Fiscal Discipline
Two 51-48 votes, two dead plans, and a whole lot of lawmakers acting like “imminent” is a decorative word that looks nice in press releases. The U.S. Senate just performed one of its signature magic tricks: taking a cliff, putting a warning sign next to it, posing for photos in front of the warning sign,
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The Ham Sandwich Walks Free: The Department of Justice Keeps Losing Arguments with Reality
The Justice Department keeps pulling the lever, and the indictment machine keeps blinking “try again” like it’s a broken arcade game with federal letterhead. There are a few sacred American traditions you can set your watch by, even if nobody can agree what time it is anymore. One is that a federal grand jury will
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Snowflake Is Melting Down: Trump Labels His Hurt Feelings Treasonous
The Founding Fathers Forgot to Mention That Napping is Now a State Secret Donald Trump has finally invented a new branch of jurisprudence called “feelings treason,” where noticing a seventy-nine-year-old man is tired is punishable by the full force of the internet. It was only a matter of time before Donald Trump, a man who
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Gavin Newsom Wants Democrats to Be Normal, Even If It Means You Have to Disappear
The Governor of California has discovered the secret to winning 2028, and it involves throwing the most vulnerable people in his coalition into a closet labeled “Later.” There is a specific kind of political epiphany that only happens in rooms where the bottled water costs twelve dollars and the audience is composed entirely of people
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FEMA 2.0: The Ultimate Subscription Service for Survival (Basic Tier Only)
Because nothing says “efficient government” like firing half the lifeguards while the pool is on fire. If you have been looking at the escalating climate apocalypse—the hurricanes that now have their own Instagram influencers, the wildfires that are visible from Mars, the floods that are turning basement apartments into aquariums—and thinking, “You know what this