Latest posts
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Business as Usual: A Two-Shooter Monday in the Land of the Free
There’s a uniquely American efficiency to how we process mass shootings. As if the country were run by a bureaucratic vending machine that now just spits out blood instead of soda. Insert thoughts. Receive prayers. Try again tomorrow. Today’s patriotic performance art featured not one but two active shooter incidents. First, the Grand Sierra Resort
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The Epstein Files, the Ghislaine Summit, and the Sudden Disappearance of Congress: A Whodunit with No Will to Know
It began, as these things often do, with a subpoena no one expected to be enforced. The House Oversight Subcommittee, waking briefly from its decades-long nap under a pile of lobbyist wine-and-dine receipts, voted to demand Department of Justice records related to the Jeffrey Epstein case. A bold move, considering most of Congress has treated
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Trump Shares AI Mugshots of Obama After Declassified Docs Drop, Nation Wonders If Reality Has Been PARDONED
This week, reality got redacted, deepfaked, and re-released as a partisan reboot. Newly declassified documents—courtesy of Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard, who has apparently pivoted from anti-war progressive to cosplay intelligence officer—suggest that elements of the Obama administration allegedly ‘manufactured’ intelligence to justify the Trump-Russia probe in 2016. The documents are already being hailed
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Forecast: 100% Chance of Deletion – The Trump Archive Fire Sale
Once upon a timeline glitch, somewhere between the invention of Aqua Net and the third indictment, the Trump administration decided the best way to tackle climate change was… to pretend it didn’t exist. And by “tackle,” we mean delete, obscure, and casually yeet any congressionally mandated climate report off government websites like a shady teen
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30 Lines I Shouldn’t Have Written, But Did
(And Why They Still Hurt) After years of writing in silence—submitting manuscripts, shelving drafts, waiting for the mythical “right time”—I finally stopped waiting. I self-published. Loudly. Messily. Honestly. These books aren’t polished for comfort. They’re blood-wrapped confessions, survivors’ testaments, trauma told with teeth and tenderness. Below are 30 lines I never thought I’d write, but
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The Legend of Zillion-Dollar Casting Regrets: Hollywood Storms Hyrule
Hark! The distant cry of a million nostalgic millennials just echoed across the land—and it wasn’t from blowing into a Nintendo 64 cartridge. It was from the announcement that a live-action Legend of Zelda film is officially in the works. Yes, the long-whispered dream (or nightmare) of bringing Hyrule to Hollywood is now reality. And
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Yelling at the Lifeboat While Your House Sinks: FEMA
In a move that’s as logically airtight as a screen door on a submarine, former President Trump and DHS Secretary Noem have taken aim at FEMA—America’s go-to rescue agency—just as disaster struck in Texas. Their timing? Impeccable. Their strategy? Let’s just say it’s working about as well as a paper umbrella in a flood. Act
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Man of Woke: James Gunn’s ‘Superman’ Sparks Truth, Justice, and Fox News Outrage
New Superman Soars at Box Office, Melts Snowflakes Faster Than Laser Vision In a cinematic event that has right-wing Twitter clutching its pearls harder than Kryptonite, James Gunn’s new Superman reboot has dared—DARED—to do the unthinkable: portray Superman as… an immigrant. That’s right. The man who literally arrived on Earth inside an alien spacecraft and
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Supreme Court to Federal Workers: You’re Fired—Respectfully, Constitutionally
SCOTUS greenlights Trump’s plan to trim the government like it’s a reality show cast In a decision that stunned labor experts and delighted men who scream “drain the swamp” into their Bluetooth headsets, the U.S. Supreme Court voted 8–1 to overturn a previous injunction blocking Donald Trump’s mass federal layoffs plan—clearing the runway for the
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Elon Musk Launches the “America Party”: Season 42 of the U.S. Soap Opera
Ok, so now Elon Musk—yes, that Elon Musk—has officially launched a third political party in the U.S. It’s called the America Party, and if you’re wondering what spurred this: it’s the same billionaire who helped bankroll Trump’s 2024 campaign… now suddenly deciding he’s had a change of heart because Trump passed a spending bill that