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  • “Monsieur Ambassador, Non, Non, Non!”

    “Monsieur Ambassador, Non, Non, Non!”

    A Satirical Dispatch from the Franco-American Diplomatic Stage On August 24, 2025, the world witnessed an increasingly rare diplomatic full-stop: France summoned U.S. Ambassador Charles Kushner after he penned a blistering open letter to President Macron. In the Wall Street Journal, Kushner accused France of failing to adequately stem a rise in antisemitism, linking it

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  • Chi-Town as a Stage Set: Trump’s War on Declining Crime

    Chi-Town as a Stage Set: Trump’s War on Declining Crime

    On August 23, 2025, the Washington Post reported that the Pentagon is quietly drawing up plans to deploy thousands of National Guard troops to Chicago this September. Because nothing says “public safety” like militarizing a city that just posted the lowest violent crime numbers in decades. Homicides? Down 30%. Shootings? Down 35%. Robberies and carjackings?

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  • The Hunger Games of Gaza: When Bureaucracy Outpaces Bread

    The Hunger Games of Gaza: When Bureaucracy Outpaces Bread

    On August 22, 2025, the United Nations confirmed what the world has been watching for months but refusing to name out loud: famine in Gaza City. Not “food insecurity.” Not “malnutrition.” Not “grave concern.” Famine. IPC Phase 5—the technical apocalypse of humanitarian metrics. The Famine Review Committee ticked the boxes: The tally: over 514,000 people

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  • Queen for a Day, Collateral for a Lifetime: Ghislaine Maxwell’s Tailored Exoneration Tour

    Queen for a Day, Collateral for a Lifetime: Ghislaine Maxwell’s Tailored Exoneration Tour

    On August 22, 2025, the Department of Justice released the transcripts and audio from a two-day, July interview with Ghislaine Maxwell—convicted sex trafficker and legendary social climber. She was given a brief, rarefied slice of immunity—a “queen-for-a-day” proffer—interviewed not by the usual prosecutors who build cases, but by Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche (yes, that

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  • The Mustache Raid: John Bolton and the FBI’s Newest Political Opera

    The Mustache Raid: John Bolton and the FBI’s Newest Political Opera

    On August 22, 2025, FBI agents descended on John Bolton’s Bethesda home and his Washington, D.C., office. They carted off boxes while Montgomery County police stood by, politely blocking the cul-de-sac like it was the Macy’s Day Parade for subpoenas. The stated reason: investigating whether Bolton illegally possessed or shared classified information. The unstated reason:

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  • Alligator Alcatraz: How to Build a Jail, Destroy an Ecosystem, and Lose in Court in Under Sixty Days

    Alligator Alcatraz: How to Build a Jail, Destroy an Ecosystem, and Lose in Court in Under Sixty Days

    America has a long history of building things fast and regretting them faster. The Hindenburg. The Edsel. Every single Trump casino. Add to that ignominious list “Alligator Alcatraz,” the Everglades detention camp that sprouted this summer like a fungal growth on the swamp’s edge—hastily erected in eight days and now ordered dismantled in sixty. On

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  • Proposition Hardball: California Democrats Try Redistricting à la Mode

    Proposition Hardball: California Democrats Try Redistricting à la Mode

    On August 21, 2025, California Democrats, normally a party best known for their talent in staging circular firing squads and producing complicated climate bills nobody reads, pulled off something astonishing: speed and unity. In one day flat, the Legislature rammed through a mid-decade congressional redistricting plan and Governor Gavin Newsom, never one to resist a

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  • Redemption Auditions & Bureaucracies of Mercy: Erik Menendez’s Parole Denial in 2025

    Redemption Auditions & Bureaucracies of Mercy: Erik Menendez’s Parole Denial in 2025

    Imagine a system where forgiveness isn’t a simple word but a heavily produced gala—complete with judges, cameras, moral gymnastics, and a giant question mark hovering over your head, blinking like a faulty neon sign. That’s the world of modern parole hearings, and on August 21, 2025, Erik Menendez starred in the latest episode of America’s

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  • Deportation by Stopwatch: Trump’s TPS Hunger Games

    Deportation by Stopwatch: Trump’s TPS Hunger Games

    The Trump administration has rediscovered its favorite pastime: deportation as sport. On August 20, 2025, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals granted the White House an emergency stay that lets officials move forward with ending Temporary Protected Status (TPS) for roughly 60,000 migrants from Honduras, Nicaragua, and Nepal. Nothing says “America First” like telling the

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  • English-Only Nation: The Trump-Era War on Multilingualism, Now With Federal Endorsement

    English-Only Nation: The Trump-Era War on Multilingualism, Now With Federal Endorsement

    The Department of Education, in what can only be described as a masterclass in quiet cruelty, has decided that five million English learners across the country are now just a line item too expensive to justify. On August 20, 2025, the department formally rescinded the 2015 “Dear Colleague” guidance—the one that spelled out, in plain

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