Latest posts
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Kindle Unlimited: The Best Way to Binge Books (and Not Go Broke)
For a limited time, Kindle Unlimited is free for the first three months. That’s 90 days of binging queer survival memoirs, chaotic rom-coms, psychological thrillers, dystopian nightmares, and slow-burn heartbreaks—all written by me, a deeply unwell author with a lot of feelings and a cartoon bee obsession.
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Trump’s Legs Are Tired. America is Too.
In news that will shock absolutely no one who’s seen a senior citizen in a golf cart wearing three layers of bronzer and rage, Donald Trump has been diagnosed with chronic venous insufficiency (CVI)—which, to the medically uninitiated, translates roughly to: his veins are tired of the bullshit too.
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Tulsi Gabbard Declassifies Her Way Into MAGA Hearts—Thanks, Obama.
Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard has graciously bestowed upon the American people what she describes as “overwhelming evidence” that the Obama administration manipulated intelligence to make it look like Russia interfered in the 2016 election. Because when you think “neutral arbiter of truth,” you naturally think “Tulsi Gabbard with QAnon lighting and a ceremonial
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War, What Is It Good For? Apparently…Global Distraction and Defense Contracts
If you’ve felt a strange global vibration lately, no, it’s not Mercury in retrograde or your ex trying to manifest you back through a dream journal. It’s the reverberation of yet another season of Earth: Total War, now streaming live from Ukraine, Sudan, Haiti, and anywhere else with two opposing factions, dwindling hope, and a
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Artificial Intelligence, Natural Stupidity: Trump’s $70 Billion Energy Plan Sparks National Migraine
In what political analysts are calling “the greatest leap forward since the invention of the flashlight app,” President Donald J. Trump is expected to unveil a “tremendous, historic, not-at-all-made-up” $70 billion investment package focused on artificial intelligence and energy. The announcement will be made at the Pennsylvania Energy Innovation Summit, which—despite the name—is being held
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Elmo’s Dark Side: When a Fuzzy Red Muppet Becomes the Mouthpiece of Madness
In a plot twist no one saw coming—until the screenshot clutter hit the timeline—Elmo’s official X account went rogue. Instead of his usual brand of heartwarming check‑ins and cookie-fueled cheer, followers were greeted with hate-filled sludge: antisemitic slurs, racist tirades, conspiracy theories, and even a sudden obsession with the Epstein files (“Release the files, child
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Severance, Penguins, and Matlock: Emmy Nominations Prove Television Is Just a Weird Group Project Now
Well folks, grab your custom popcorn tins and dust off your think-pieces—because the 2025 Emmy nominations have dropped, and they read like the fever dream of a prestige-hungry AI bot that just binged HBO while microdosing. Let’s break down the chaos, shall we? Severance Got 27 Nominations—Which Feels Like A Cry For Help Yes, Apple TV+’s
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Yelling at the Lifeboat While Your House Sinks: FEMA
In a move that’s as logically airtight as a screen door on a submarine, former President Trump and DHS Secretary Noem have taken aim at FEMA—America’s go-to rescue agency—just as disaster struck in Texas. Their timing? Impeccable. Their strategy? Let’s just say it’s working about as well as a paper umbrella in a flood. Act
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Texas, But Make It A Theocracy: The Warning Behind Salt and Static
I wrote Salt and Static because I was done whispering. I was born and raised in West Texas, where the gospel is louder than the truth and the heat will peel your skin and your dignity if you let it. I grew up gay in a culture that weaponized silence, shame, and scripture. I survived
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Kerrville Welcomes Its Most “Extraordinary” Visitor: The Einstein Visa Queen Returns!
BREAKING: The Hill Country was briefly graced with otherworldly greatness this week as Melania Trump, First Lady Emerita and alleged immigrant overachiever, descended upon Kerrville with her husband, the 45th and possibly 47th President, Donald J. Trump. Let’s hope ICE don’t find out. Locals were stunned to learn that Kerrville, long famous for its deer