Latest posts
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The Bongino Doctrine: How to Reform the FBI with a Podcast Mic and a Megaphone
Some men are born for public service. Others have it thrust upon them. And then there’s Daniel Bongino—who appears to have podcasted his way into federal law enforcement leadership with the energy of a man who once read the Constitution off a T-shirt at a gun show. Yes, dear readers, Deputy Director Bongino has officially
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The Second Term’s the Charm: Trump, DEI, and Other Performance Art Pieces from a Government in Reflux
The Trump administration’s second act has arrived—unseasoned, unfiltered, and flush with the confidence of a man who thinks The Art of the Deal is still in print. What began as a 2016 fever dream has curdled into a 2025 reality show reboot: America’s Next Top Autocrat. Naturally, there’s been some turbulence. The president, emboldened by
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Jamie Lee Curtis Is Self-Retiring—Because Hollywood Can’t Be Trusted with a Calendar
Jamie Lee Curtis—Oscar winner, Activia spokeswoman, scream queen, and matriarch of aging on her own terms—has announced she’s been “self-retiring for 30 years.” Which is, of course, the most emotionally intelligent and quietly devastating resignation letter Hollywood has ever received. According to Curtis, the decision wasn’t spontaneous. It was a long, slow fade-out. Like the
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Lock Her Up (But Poor This Time): America Rediscovers Its Favorite Chant—Now with Fewer Mar-a-Lagos
At long last, America’s most beloved political rally cry has returned—not for Hillary, not for Hunter, but for Hannah under the freeway overpass. Yes, “Lock Her Up” has been dusted off, polished, and rebranded for a new demographic: the unhoused. And it’s all thanks to the latest Trump executive order, which proposes the forcible hospitalization
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Lone Star, Shady Lines: Texas GOP Dusts Off Crayons for Another Round of “Find the Democrat and Move Him”
If you thought gerrymandering was a once-per-decade tradition—like the census or Taylor Swift re-recordings—think again. Texas Republicans, fueled by barbecue, brazen ambition, and a deep-seated allergy to representative democracy, have decided to crack open the redistricting map early, because why wait for 2030 when you can tilt the scales right now? Welcome to mid-decade redistricting,
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“Make Me President, Daddy”: A Spin Doctor’s Descent Through the American Spectacle
Read now on Kindle UnlimitedExplore more of my work: Amazon Author Page I didn’t write Make Me President, Daddy to mock a man. He does that to himself. I wrote it to eulogize a country that laughed its way into the grave. This book started as a scream I couldn’t get out during the first
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I Didn’t Believe in Elon. I Believed in His Grift. And Now My Retirement Is Circling the Drain in a Cybertruck.
Let’s be clear: I didn’t invest in Tesla because I thought Elon Musk was a genius. I invested because I thought he was shameless. Here was a man who could sit in a press conference sounding like a malfunctioning TED Talk chatbot, then turn around and wink at Trump and watch the stock price soar.
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Beyond the Blockbusters: 8 Films and Shows from 2025 That Deserved More Than a Shrug
Every year, a few shiny, oversaturated blockbusters clog the pop culture pipeline like cholesterol in a Marvel fan’s arteries. They arrive, they dominate, they trend—and then they vanish, leaving behind three memes, two Funko Pops, and a vague sense that maybe cinema died somewhere around the seventh franchise installment. But not everything made in 2025
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Trump Shares AI Mugshots of Obama After Declassified Docs Drop, Nation Wonders If Reality Has Been PARDONED
This week, reality got redacted, deepfaked, and re-released as a partisan reboot. Newly declassified documents—courtesy of Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard, who has apparently pivoted from anti-war progressive to cosplay intelligence officer—suggest that elements of the Obama administration allegedly ‘manufactured’ intelligence to justify the Trump-Russia probe in 2016. The documents are already being hailed
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The Curious Case of Convenient Amnesia: A Political Drama in Three Acts (and Several Subpoenas)
There are certain phrases that set off alarm bells in the American psyche: “new variant,” “Taylor Swift drops surprise album,” and of course, “bipartisan interest in the Jeffrey Epstein case.” That last one? That’s our national Bat-Signal for someone’s sweating in a congressional back room while texting their lawyer in Morse code. Because nothing unites