Latest posts

  • JD Vance Turns Charlie Kirk’s Memorial Into a Campaign Rally With Tax Audits

    JD Vance Turns Charlie Kirk’s Memorial Into a Campaign Rally With Tax Audits

    When Mourning Means Monetizing Charlie Kirk was assassinated at Utah Valley University. That’s the fact. It happened. A 33-hour manhunt followed. Police arrested 22-year-old Tyler Robinson. The motive remains under investigation. This should have been the moment for solemnity. Reflection. A funeral, not a fundraiser. Instead, the White House turned it into programming content. Vice

    Read more

  • Brian Kilmeade and the “Just Kill ’Em” Doctrine: Fox News Accidentally Says the Quiet Part Louder

    Brian Kilmeade and the “Just Kill ’Em” Doctrine: Fox News Accidentally Says the Quiet Part Louder

    If satire is dead, Brian Kilmeade personally strangled it on live television when he suggested, with all the seriousness of a man discussing football stats, that unhoused people with mental illness should receive “involuntary lethal injections.” His actual phrasing—“just kill ’em”—landed with the thud of a guillotine blade hitting the stage floor of Fox &

    Read more

  • Trump’s Federal Reserve Circus: Cutting Rates and Ties With Reality

    Trump’s Federal Reserve Circus: Cutting Rates and Ties With Reality

    When Independence Means Whatever He Says There are three certainties in life: death, taxes, and Donald Trump trying to fire someone he doesn’t like. Now he’s aiming at the Federal Reserve, the supposedly independent temple of monetary policy that has somehow become just another episode of his reality show. Markets expect a 25-basis-point cut at

    Read more

  • Groypers, Grievances, and the Great MAGA Family Reunion

    Groypers, Grievances, and the Great MAGA Family Reunion

    Every political movement develops factions. The Bolsheviks had Mensheviks, the Catholics had Protestants, the Beatles had Yoko. But no coalition fractures quite like the MAGAverse, which has managed to stuff twelve different ideological cliques into one red hat—and none of them particularly like each other. If the Republican Party used to be a country club,

    Read more

  • The Eternal Gravity of Shit: Why Hierarchy Is Humanity’s Favorite Hobby

    The Eternal Gravity of Shit: Why Hierarchy Is Humanity’s Favorite Hobby

    We like to tell ourselves that human beings are noble, empathetic creatures. We write novels about kindness, sing songs about love, build religions around compassion. But spend thirty seconds in line at Starbucks or thirty minutes Doordashing lukewarm Chipotle to someone in yoga pants, and the truth hits you in the face like a soggy

    Read more

  • From Widow’s Wail to War Cry: The Kirk Tragedy and America’s Talent for Turning Grief Into Ammunition

    From Widow’s Wail to War Cry: The Kirk Tragedy and America’s Talent for Turning Grief Into Ammunition

    The Grief Industry Goes Prime Time Charlie Kirk is dead, assassinated on September 10 in Utah. His young widow, Erika Frantzve Kirk, took to the microphone the next day, vowing that “the cries of this widow will echo around the world like a battle cry.” It should have been a moment of mourning. It should

    Read more

  • When in Doubt, Blame the Gays: How the Right Turned Charlie Kirk’s Murder Into Queer Scapegoating

    When in Doubt, Blame the Gays: How the Right Turned Charlie Kirk’s Murder Into Queer Scapegoating

    The Rumor Factory at Full Tilt Tyler Robinson was arrested on September 12 for the killing of Charlie Kirk after a 33-hour manhunt that involved helicopters, interstate checkpoints, and ultimately his own family pointing investigators in the right direction. A bolt-action rifle was recovered. Ballistics confirmed it was fired from roughly 200 yards. Authorities charged

    Read more

  • Kash Patel’s FBI: Now With 30% More Chaos and 0% More Competence

    Kash Patel’s FBI: Now With 30% More Chaos and 0% More Competence

    The Worst Week at the Bureau It only took seven days for Kash Patel to make J. Edgar Hoover look like an Excel spreadsheet. On September 11, Patel stood before cameras and wrongly announced that Charlie Kirk’s assassin was “in custody.” The killer was not, in fact, in custody. By the end of the news

    Read more

  • The Assassination of Charlie Kirk and the GOP’s Talent for Pouring Gasoline on a Fire They Started

    The Assassination of Charlie Kirk and the GOP’s Talent for Pouring Gasoline on a Fire They Started

    The Fox & Friends Grief Circus Charlie Kirk was assassinated on September 10 while speaking at Utah Valley University. A 22-year-old, Tyler James Robinson, is charged with aggravated murder, reportedly firing a bolt-action rifle from 200 yards away. Police say his own family identified him. The shell casings were allegedly etched with inflammatory messages, because

    Read more

  • Texas Builds a Deportation Machine Because Governing Was Too Boring

    Texas Builds a Deportation Machine Because Governing Was Too Boring

    Everything Is Bigger in Texas—Even the Loopholes Texas has decided that if the federal government won’t let it declare its own foreign policy, it will improvise. Governor Greg Abbott’s Operation Lone Star has now quietly metastasized from “border security theater” into “statewide deportation cosplay.” DPS strike teams, created at Abbott’s direction, have made more than

    Read more