Latest posts
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Cash Me Outside the Constitution: How the Presidency Became Trump’s Most Profitable Side Hustle
The polite version says markets respond to policy. The honest version says markets respond to who writes the policy—and whether he’s already holding the bag you’re about to fill. On September 1–2, 2025, the Trump family’s crypto venture World Liberty Financial flicked its neon “OPEN” sign, listing the $WLFI token across major exchanges and conjuring
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In Defense of the Binge: Why Autoplay Is the New Therapy
On August 29, 2025, researchers at the University of Georgia committed the academic equivalent of saying the quiet part out loud: binge-watching might actually be good for you. Their peer-reviewed study, published in Acta Psychologica, didn’t just poke at the pop culture habit everyone denies and everyone does—it blessed it, like a priest sprinkling holy
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iPhone 17: The Awe-Dropping Slab We’ll All Pretend Not to Need, Then Buy Anyway
On September 9, 2025 at 10 a.m. PT, Apple will once again transform its glass spaceship into a megachurch of consumer longing, inviting the faithful to witness what it calls the “Awe-dropping” keynote. The name alone is a corporate sleight of hand: awe as in wonder, drop as in your rent money, and keynote as
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Big Brother, Small Man: The Rylie Jeffries Eviction Tour
When Rylie Jeffries was evicted from Big Brother Season 27, he didn’t walk out of the house so much as stumble into a reality that had been waiting to eat him alive. On the inside, he was the cowboy-hat-wearing bull rider with a showmance and a storyline. On the outside, he was suddenly the subject
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The Ten Commandments of Horror TV: A Bloody, Bingeable Bible
The history of horror television is a cemetery of failed pilots and half-rotted seasons, a graveyard where shows are buried alive by executives only to claw their way out later as streaming “discoveries.” For every cult resurrection, there are dozens of forgotten corpses—remember Harper’s Island? Exactly. Yet from this restless afterlife, ten shows have not
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Mass Shootings, Manufactured Scapegoats, and America’s Favorite Ritual
On August 27, 2025, the stained-glass windows of Annunciation Catholic Church in Minneapolis shattered under the hail of gunfire from a 23-year-old named Robin Westman. By the time the shooting ended, two children—aged 8 and 10—were dead, and seventeen others, mostly kids and elderly parishioners, were injured. Westman barricaded exits, terrorized a congregation mid-Mass, and
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Tariffs, Treason, and the Long Con of Executive Power
On August 29, 2025, the U.S. Federal Circuit Court of Appeals, in a 7–4 ruling, finally tapped the brakes on what has essentially been a seven-year joyride through the Constitution conducted by Donald J. Trump in the name of “economic nationalism.” The court declared that most of his so-called “reciprocal” and “trafficking” tariffs exceeded his
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Trump vs. Seth Meyers: Late Night, Last Nerve
The 2 a.m. Truth Social Serenade On August 27, 2025, Donald Trump—our forever midnight bard—logged onto Truth Social at the ungodly hour of 2 a.m. to fight the real battle of our times: Seth Meyers’ job security. Forget Ukraine, forget inflation, forget that the Colorado River is turning into a trickle—the real crisis is NBC
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Prosecuting the Flame: Trump’s Executive Order on Flag Burning
On August 25, 2025, President Donald Trump signed a document so melodramatically titled it could double as a Netflix limited series: “Prosecuting Burning of the American Flag.” The executive order doesn’t criminalize flag burning outright—because the Supreme Court told America to chill about that back in 1989. But it does something more Trumpian: it takes
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Puff, Puff, Postal: USPS Declares War on Your Vape Pen
In mid-August 2025, while the rest of America was debating whether Barbie deserved an Oscar nomination, the United States Postal Service quietly declared war on flavored fog. That’s right: the USPS—an institution barely able to deliver your Amazon package without routing it through Albuquerque—has suddenly positioned itself as the frontline defender against the scourge of