Latest posts
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We Believe in Second Helpings, Not Second Chances
The defining ritual of the American Thanksgiving is the gluttonous pivot. It is that precise, lubricated moment when the belt is loosened, the first plate is cleared, and a collective, national decision is made that excess is not a sin but a patriotic duty. We pile the mashed potatoes high enough to require zoning permits.
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The unauthorized History of the Home of the Brave: A Guide to 400 Years of squatter’s Rights
We like to tell ourselves a very specific story about the United States. It is a story printed on glossy brochures, recited by politicians with wet eyes, and taught to children before they are old enough to read the footnotes. It is the story of a “Nation of Immigrants,” a melting pot where the tired,
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The FBI’s New Most Wanted List: People Who Can Read the Employee Handbook
There is a specific, grim absurdity to the moment when the premier law enforcement agency of the United States transforms into a customer service department for a presidential tantrum. On any given Tuesday, the FBI’s Counterterrorism Division is generally tasked with disrupting bomb plots, dismantling sleeper cells, and tracking violent extremists who wish to do
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Trump Wants His 1998 Back: Why ‘Rush Hour 4’ Is Now a Matter of National Security
We often tell ourselves that power is about nuclear codes, interest rates, and the invisible hand that moves aircraft carriers across the chessboard of the Pacific. But in the twilight of the American empire, power is apparently the ability to force a major Hollywood studio to greenlight a buddy cop sequel that nobody asked for
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The Nuremberg Refresher Course: Why the “Seditious Six” Are the Only Ones Trying to Save the Troops from the Hague
The timeline of American decline has a specific, rhythmic quality to it now, like a drumbeat played by a toddler who found a loaded gun. On November 24, 2025, that rhythm accelerated into a frantic, terrified tempo when the Pentagon announced an “extraordinary misconduct probe” into Senator Mark Kelly. The crime of this retired Navy
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The Art of the Un-Deal: How Trump’s “Secret” Plan to Save Obamacare Imploded Before the Teleprompter Was Loaded
The most defining characteristic of the second Trump administration is not its malevolence, nor its incompetence, but its profound and unending awkwardness. We are constantly forced to watch the political equivalent of a man trying to high-five someone who is actively tying their shoe. This dynamic reached a crescendo of cringe this week when the
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Trump’s ICE Body Bag: Where the Amenities Are Tylenol and a Body Bag
The wind in the high desert of Victorville, California, blows with a specific, sand-blasting indifference. It strips the paint off cars and the hope off human beings with equal efficiency. In this desolate landscape sits the Adelanto ICE Processing Center, a facility that sounds like a place where one might go to renew a driver’s
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The Bartender Who Bought the Bar: Why AOC’s Senate Run Is the Chaos We Deserve
It has been seven years since a twenty-eight-year-old bartender from the Bronx looked at the decaying edifice of the Queens Democratic machine, ordered a seltzer, and then proceeded to bulldoze the entire building. We all remember the shock of 2018. We remember the “AOC phenomenon,” a phrase used by consultants to describe something they hoped
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The Art of the Deal (With a Socialist): Why Donald Trump Just Adopted a “Communist Lunatic” on Live TV
The simulation didn’t just glitch on November 21, 2025; it blue-screened, rebooted, and loaded a corrupted file from a different timeline. In the Oval Office, beneath the stern, oil-painted gaze of George Washington, the President of the United States sat next to the Mayor-elect of New York City. On paper, this should have been a
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The Red Scare on Pennsylvania Avenue: Why Trump Thinks Fixing the Subway Is a Bolshevik Plot
The intellectual architecture of the modern American right wing is built on a foundation of very specific, load-bearing misunderstandings, but none is quite as structural as their inability to distinguish between a democratic socialist and a Soviet commissar. To Donald Trump and the ecosystem that orbits him, there is no difference between wanting to fund