Latest posts
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Supreme Court to the World: You Can Stay… Until We Find a Plane Ticket and a Country That Doesn’t Know You Yet
Congratulations, America. Our Supreme Court just swiped right on international human rights law and ghosted it five minutes later. With a vote of 6-3—because of course it was—they decided it’s perfectly fine to deport undocumented immigrants to countries they’ve never set foot in. The catch? All you need is a “criminal conviction” and a fast-pass
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Anderson Allison Cooper and the Enriched Delusion: A Very Stable Tantrum
So here’s to Allison Cooper. May your poise forever expose the chaos. May your reporting cut through the noise. And may your very existence continue to make old men in red hats clutch their pearls harder than their Russian passports.
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The Trauma Olympics: Why I’m Retiring My Jersey
Let me start with this: I’ve seen some shit. I’ve been kicked out at 16 for being gay, subjected to conversion therapy, survived cancer, buried friends, lost my nursing license for reporting a mistake I didn’t even make, and watched my dreams crumble while overdressed in a Holiday Inn Express lobby. I’ve weathered abusive relationships,
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American Healthcare: Now With 20% Less Humanity!
A User Manual for Surviving the ER Without Dignity or Insurance Welcome to the American healthcare system! Whether you’ve arrived via ambulance, rideshare, or crawling on your last good limb, this guide will prepare you for your stay in the trauma-scented purgatory known as the Emergency Room. Don’t worry—we’ve streamlined the experience to maximize humiliation
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Bee-yond the Beard: Why Food Awards Matter and Who’s Really Stirring the Pot
Once upon a time, if a chef wanted to be taken seriously, they had to toil quietly in the kitchen, perfecting duck à l’orange, whispering sweet nothings to soufflés, and praying some mysterious, trench coat-wearing Michelin inspector would bless their establishment with a star or two (or three, if they had made some sort of
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Mykael Zane, Now Hiring: How a Name Can Get You Erased Before You Even Apply
I was almost named Mykael Zane Cloud. And by “almost,” I mean I was—for a hot minute. Right until my grandparents, wielding all the subtlety of a segregation-era guidance counselor, decided that name was too ethnic, too bold, too much like someone who might speak Spanish at a PTA meeting or God forbid, ask to
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Therapy Speak, But Make It Texan
Setting boundaries, y’all. With a side of queso. Welcome to the dusty crossroads of emotional healing and Southern hospitality, where therapy-speak gets run through a wood chipper of “Well, sugar, we don’t talk about that at the dinner table” and comes out the other side wrapped in a casserole dish. If you’ve ever tried to
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Johnny Depp: Hollywood’s First-Ever Crash Test Dummy for Accountability
Move over Rosa Parks. Step aside Joan of Arc. According to a recent interview with The Times, Johnny Depp—yes, that Johnny Depp—has declared himself the official crash test dummy for the #MeToo movement.
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I’m Skeptical of Anyone Who Tells Me Not to Take Candy from Strangers, Then Takes Me Trick or Treating
Trust issues don’t start in adulthood. They start when your mom tells you never to talk to strangers, then zips you into a glow-in-the-dark dinosaur suit and sends you door to door demanding chocolate from people you’ve never met, some of whom are literally wearing masks. “Don’t accept candy from strangers” she says on Tuesday.
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The Silent War: My Battle Against Unsolicited Advice (and How I Mostly Lose)
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you’re the kind of person who starts sentences with “You know what you should do?” — please know I’m already plotting my escape. Politely. Silently. With a smile so tight it could slice through granite. Unsolicited advice is the glitter of social interaction. It shows