Latest posts
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The Legend of Zillion-Dollar Casting Regrets: Hollywood Storms Hyrule
Hark! The distant cry of a million nostalgic millennials just echoed across the land—and it wasn’t from blowing into a Nintendo 64 cartridge. It was from the announcement that a live-action Legend of Zelda film is officially in the works. Yes, the long-whispered dream (or nightmare) of bringing Hyrule to Hollywood is now reality. And
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BUBONIC PLAGUE IN ARIZONA: 14TH CENTURY ICON MAKES UNWELCOME COMEBACK
FLAGSTAFF, AZ — Just when you thought the only plague still circulating was the group chat from your old job, northern Arizona has been struck by a blast from the past — and not the cool, vintage kind. Health officials have confirmed that a local resident has died from pneumonic plague, a grim throwback infection
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The Man, the Myth, the Misstep: Shannon Price Says She “Had No Choice” But to End Gary Coleman’s Life—Then Fails a Lie Detector
In a story that sounds less like a somber eulogy and more like a mid-season twist on a forgotten true crime docuseries, Shannon Price—the ex-wife, ex-roommate, and ongoing enigma of child star Gary Coleman—has emerged from the shadows once again. This time, she’s here to explain why she pulled the plug on Coleman’s life support
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The Man of Steal: White House Declares Trump Superman in Latest Tweet
In a move that confirms we are living in the world’s most expensive community theater production, the White House has officially tweeted a photo of Donald Trump dressed as Superman—yes, that Superman—with the caption:“THE SYMBOL OF HOPE. TRUTH. JUSTICE. THE AMERICAN WAY. SUPERMAN TRUMP.” Somewhere in a Kansas cornfield, Clark Kent just facepalmed so hard
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Weather Warnings Were Budget Cuts in Disguise
In a shocking twist that surprises absolutely no one who’s been awake for the last year, the same administration that promised to “streamline government” has now successfully streamlined people right into floodwaters. That’s right: the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE)—Trump’s golden retriever of a bureaucracy—slashed funding to NOAA and the National Weather Service (NWS), and
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Julian McMahon Has Died—and With Him, a Whole Era of Sexy, Supernatural Danger
Julian McMahon has passed away, and honestly? I’m not doing well. If you’re of a certain queer, witchy, or chaos-loving persuasion, you know exactly why this hits harder than it probably should. Because this wasn’t just any actor—this was Cole Turner. This was Dr. Christian Troy. This was the man who somehow made being morally
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Happy 4th of July! The Country’s Already on Fire—Might as Well Add Fireworks
Ah, Independence Day. That one time of year when we gather ‘round gas grills, wave flags made in China, and celebrate “freedom” by launching flaming projectiles into the nearest drought-stricken field. Because nothing screams liberty like sparklers in one hand and existential dread in the other. We’re told it’s a patriotic tradition. But let’s call
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Why I’m Self-Publishing: When the Doors Don’t Open, Build Your Own
Not the Plan, But the Point” I believe LGBTQ+ stories deserve to exist on the page—not as punchlines, sidekicks, or cautionary tales—but as full, complex lives with agency, nuance, and joy. We are firefighters. Nurses. Teachers. Cops. Parents. Grocery store managers. Everyday people. And the more we tell our stories—ourselves, for ourselves—the harder it becomes
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SpaceX and the City: Elon’s Galactic Baby Mamas
Welcome to “SpaceX & the City,” the only show where the launchpad is your loins and the paternity test is pending. Today’s episode? A whirlwind romp through the Musk-iverse—a place where kids are named after Wi-Fi passwords and co-parenting involves occasional Twitter likes. Let’s meet the brave women who made the bold decision to bear
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Update: Year 2025. Still No Jesus. Still Stuck with Your Asshole Followers.
Hey Jesus, Just circling back (again). Still no sign of you. No heavenly descent, no clouds parting, no divine trumpet blast—just the usual right-wing podcast hosts calling everything the Antichrist and Marjorie Taylor Greene misquoting you while selling tactical Bibles on QVC. Listen, I know it’s been a long 2,000 years. You’re probably busy blessing