Latest posts
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July’s Over. Thank You, Everyone: 7,174 Books Sold, 64 Titles Published, and One Heart About to Burst
In July, I sold 7,174 books across 64 titles—my first full month of self-publishing after years of silence and shelved manuscripts. From memoir to romance to horror, you showed up. Thank you. Every read, share, and review keeps this dream alive.
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Make MAGA Merch Great Again: Trump Sues Over Bootleg Bravado
In the latest crusade to restore dignity to the tarnished gold plating of American capitalism, the Trump Organization has boldly risen—not to address climate change, or rampant voter suppression, or the existential dread gripping the working class—but to defend its most sacred cause: the sanctity of fake red hats. Yes, dear patriots and profit-mongers, Amazon
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Loyalty, Glitter, and Crime: Why You’ll Fall Hard for the Found-Family Chaos of Hell’s Kitchen Sink
Hell’s Kitchen SinkAlso by Brandon Cloud What if your second chance came with a busted boiler, cartel surveillance, and a drag queen crying behind the bar at 2am? That’s where the story begins in Hell’s Kitchen Sink—a gritty, sharp-witted, deeply human novel about queer survival, found family, and the kind of loyalty that sometimes slides
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Jamie Lee Curtis Is Self-Retiring—Because Hollywood Can’t Be Trusted with a Calendar
Jamie Lee Curtis—Oscar winner, Activia spokeswoman, scream queen, and matriarch of aging on her own terms—has announced she’s been “self-retiring for 30 years.” Which is, of course, the most emotionally intelligent and quietly devastating resignation letter Hollywood has ever received. According to Curtis, the decision wasn’t spontaneous. It was a long, slow fade-out. Like the
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From Voltron Spoilers to Space Cavemen: Comic‑Con 2025 Is Looking Very, Very Loud
Comic‑Con 2025 is in full force, and the annual spectacle reached new levels of cinematic absurdity. If you thought fandom insanity peaked with the return of Rick and Morty, this year’s convention feels like it’s being curated by a hyperactive AI with a nostalgia filter set to “max.” Let’s unpack the highlights—with all the sarcasm
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Comic‑Con 2025: When Tron, Robots, and Redux Make Us Question Reality
San Diego Comic‑Con 2025 has officially arrived, bringing with it the usual spectacle: bold trailers, unexpected celebrity cameos, and the kind of hyperreal sci‑fi enthusiasm that makes your real life feel like dial‑up internet. Here’s your satirical review of the weirdest, wildest, and most neon-lit highlights: 1. Tron: Ares Takes Over Hall H Disney premiered
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Ron Klain Testifies That Joe Biden Is Fine, Just Old Enough to Remember When Committees Had Purpose
In a stunning turn of events that shocked no one except maybe a few interns on their first Hill rotation, former White House Chief of Staff Ron Klain appeared before the House Oversight Committee this week to confirm—on the record, under oath, and with only minimal eye twitching—that President Joe Biden is, in fact, still
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He Asked About Headlights. He Got a Concussion. Welcome to Traffic Enforcement, 2025.
Some people get pulled over and drive away with a warning. Others ask, “Why do I need my headlights on in daylight?” and end up with a shattered window and a fist in the face. In Jacksonville, Florida—where the humidity is thick and the patience for questions is thin—22-year-old William McNeil Jr. learned the hard
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Venus Rises: At 45, Williams Wins and the Tennis World Files for AARP
In a move that sent shockwaves through sports media and orthopedic surgeons alike, Venus Williams has won a WTA match at the age of 45—because apparently time is a construct, and knees are optional. Yes, while most of us are googling “how to get up without making a noise,” Venus is out here reminding the